(Sigh)... I swear, if one more person pressures me to find a girlfriend again...
What part of "I'm not interested in a relationship" don't you idiots understand?! I don't care how Hollywood-like your relationships are, I don't want to seek a girlfriend. I tried it once in order to experience it because you all make it sound like some romance story with Fabio on the cover. Guess what? I got into a borderline abusive relationship, both physical and mental. It's bad enough having autism that prevents me from having normal relationships with people but having to put up with a compulsive liar and a drama queen who would constantly hit, slap, and punch me for a first girlfriend is just... Ugh....
Plus you get juicy websites like this one...
Heartless Aspergers
I get it, I'm a horrible person. People hurt me and I have hurt them. No need to remind me of things that I still feel shame for doing years ago. Getting a girlfriend isn't going to make me any happier. It's only going to set me up for more disappointment. Life isn't a friggin' Disney film where the flawed main character gets the girl in the end and they live happily ever after. As long as I suffer this disability and continue to live with all these haunting memories of past abuse and rejection, I am in no position to seek relationships.
But does anyone listen? Of course not! My friends and family continue to tell me that "There's a person for everyone out there". Really? Tell that to all those spinsters out there who die alone because no one took interest in them. It's my belief that people don't care about your character, they only care what you can offer them. Unfortunately, I have nothing this world wants so I'd rather just die and go to Heaven than have to live life knowing that I'm a social failure.
I don't want to get hurt again and I don't want to hurt another person again. Stop pressuring me to get a girlfriend because none of you can possible understand my problem with that. Those who tell me that autism is a 'blessing' and a 'gift' are in no position to tell me that. You'll find that there are countless other Aspies who feel the same way as I do so don't tell me that I'm not trying hard enough. Try living a life where you work your tail off to reach an acceptable standard only to be told it's not good enough constantly throughout your life.
Only then will you understand.