I was in a bus and my ocd was telling me not to stare to a certain person.
Automatically, due to having other ocd worries and frustrations, my mind started generating warnings and scary words without my will about punishments.
it was as if my ocd was telling me
ocd: you better not stare again at that person, cause something bad will happen as a punishment to you because you may be breaking a promise to God.
and automatically, scary words without my will were generated in my mind.
I was frustrated and tired with other ocd problems and I wanted to stare at that person because I was sure it was just ocd and there was never a promise. I started saying no to my ocd and my mind started popping up words without my will in my head about accepting the consequences of breaking the compulions.
they did not pop up for 1-2 seconds. it lasted more than 10 seconds, maybe. and there is a chance along the words without my will, the word God popped up.
ocd: you just validated the compulsion and turned it to a real promise just because you maybe accepted the scary punishments because you maybe provoked the ocd. you said words like that you do not care and maybe you accept the consequences. and that lasted for more than 5 seconds, maybe. how can all these words be without your will since you thought them for more than 5 seconds, probably? and maybe it counted as a prayer because you maybe used the word God in your head or maybe your were speaking both to your ocd and to God. maybe it counted as a real prayer about validating and turning a compulsion into a real promise.
Automatically, due to having other ocd worries and frustrations, my mind started generating warnings and scary words without my will about punishments.
it was as if my ocd was telling me
ocd: you better not stare again at that person, cause something bad will happen as a punishment to you because you may be breaking a promise to God.
and automatically, scary words without my will were generated in my mind.
I was frustrated and tired with other ocd problems and I wanted to stare at that person because I was sure it was just ocd and there was never a promise. I started saying no to my ocd and my mind started popping up words without my will in my head about accepting the consequences of breaking the compulions.
they did not pop up for 1-2 seconds. it lasted more than 10 seconds, maybe. and there is a chance along the words without my will, the word God popped up.
ocd: you just validated the compulsion and turned it to a real promise just because you maybe accepted the scary punishments because you maybe provoked the ocd. you said words like that you do not care and maybe you accept the consequences. and that lasted for more than 5 seconds, maybe. how can all these words be without your will since you thought them for more than 5 seconds, probably? and maybe it counted as a prayer because you maybe used the word God in your head or maybe your were speaking both to your ocd and to God. maybe it counted as a real prayer about validating and turning a compulsion into a real promise.
