OCD & Conscience

[Migdala]

I've noticed that anything that "speeds me up" makes my religious OCD (Scrupulosity) much worse. So yeah, things that calm you down seem to help slow those thoughts a bit.

I have also been told that this is a "tormenting spirit" like Saul had in the OT. I have prayed and asked God to give me some relief, and hold the spirit back from me, and then I bound the spirit in the name of Jesus....and I had dramatic relief for a whole day and a half. It was amazing. I have also had deliverance ministers rebuke the spirits too, and they left for nearly a week.

So yeah, I think it's demonic, and only Jesus can totally heal us. But we have to know what caused it to come in in the first place....any "open doors" that would give the demon legal grounds to be there at all....unforgiveness, the occult, etc. etc.

 

[kaykay9.0]

Continuing to pray for you this morning, Flower.

 

[Christian-Catholic]

Unfortunately I have no medical insurance, no doctor, and no job to pay for any of that. I am not on any medication for OCD. I tried taking inositol powder and it seem to really reduce my anxiety level and reduced the intrusive thoughts a little. However taking it causes dramatic hair loss in me for some reason. My hair falls out almost every time I touch it. I am looking into some other avenues like eventually taking GABA instead which may not cause that kind of reaction in me. You can pray for my circumstances to improve as treatment would be more feesable that way. Also religious OCD is different than regular OCD due to the heavy spiritual implications involved in the obsessions and compulsions. If you have suffered with religious OCD than you already understand this.

Flower, I have and still have extreme religious ocd and im still battling through it. I also had a problem with affording therapy and meds because I cant really work with this condition right now, but I am recieving therapy and meds right now at a rate of 59 dollars a year!!!!

All you have to do is find the nearest county mental health facility and visit them and explain your situation and they will take care of you. You will be able to get med at first but you might be put on a waiting list for therapy. It took about 3 to 4 weeks to be assigned a therapist for me.
Please find one in your area and make that visit.
Ill put u in my prayer list my friend
God Bless

 

[flowerforever7]

Thanks for all your prayers and encouragement. Curious, have any of the intrusive OCD thoughts, constant doubting and painful conscience lessened for any of you overall over time? Or is it more like waxing and waning of it, like you will have times when it is more severe and then times when it less severe?

I have been going through with different actions through out today I have condemned / (vowed not to do) in the past, and still getting assulted by blasphemous thoughts during the actions and having doubts about my actions, my vows and my salvation. It is like almost every action I am about to do I get an intrusive thought then an automatic compulsive vow / (or deep internal refusal to continue) to try to counter it so I won't be sinning against God by going through with the action. This is my life every day and night. Also, have any of you found that your experience with OCD has gotten progressively worse over time?

 

[flowerforever7]

Okay, after re-reading through posts in this thread, I have learned that I need to not give the OCD thoughts any validity.

So, step 1 over these past couple days has been doing things I compulsively vowed to God not to do, and things that I have felt a deep resistance to doing because of blasphemous thoughts tied to them. I have not been able to do all of them, I still have some that are too hard for me.

Step 2 to add to step one will be to not give intrusive OCD thoughts any validity. (Not giving validity to the doubt I feel, the vows I've made, and how my conscience feels overal about those things and where I stand with God is another thing entirely)

I still feel a lot of guilt.

At least I am trying to work at trying to combat this OCD thing by doing some things to try to make it go away.

 

[kaykay9.0]

You asked above about has it lessened? Some of my OCD has, but I still have battles with it at times. When I was young, I battled the intrusive, blasphemous thoughts like many here have shared about. Now I do not have them at all, because frankly if something like that comes to my mind, I wouldn't give it the importance it demands. I just really believe at such deep levels that this is "mind clutter." I don't agree with it and it means nothing. Consequently, my brain doesn't bombard me with such thoughts. It's again only the anxiety and focusing on them that sparks them if that makes sense. Again, like trying not to think of green monkeys if someone says don't think of green monkeys. So on that front, I would say I have had total victory. Not that something couldn't cross my mind, but if it did, it wouldn't spark panic anymore. So paradoxically, I don't have them.

Now, on other scores, yes, as I said I do still battle OCD at times with doubts and obsessing about "sin," salvation issues, even income taxes! etc etc. Meds (SSRI's) have helped calm me at some levels, but they are not the total answer either. Counseling which helped me really understand the problem has helped immensely. Before I didn't even understand that it was OCD I was battling. Knowing what you're dealing with is often half the battle. I probably need to pursue exposure therapy but I haven't. I almost feel like I would need to do that with a professional counselor who was also a Christian.

Just yesterday I saw a quote that Dr Stephen Phillipson had written about OCD which I thought is so true....the gist of it was that OCD tries to distract us from our deepest, genuine desires. It always has reasons to try to convince us why we shouldn't do them and it generally does a good job in doing this!"

 

[flowerforever7]

I find the quote you mentioned from Dr. Phillipson to be very true for myself also. It seems like just when I'm about to do something I really want to do, or if I am really wanting something in general I will have a blasphemous thought associated with it.

 

[pkhaney]

how can you say it's not worth the money? your talking about your life and peace of it. if you dont get help you wont' be able o function at all and believe me you dont want to go there.

try cognitive behavior therapy it will work for your problem.

 

[michaelrich]

Sorry for this "term paper" . . . but maybe someone out there has some thoughts about this?

I have struggled with varying degrees of OCD most of my life. I did not know it was OCD until later in my life. In the last seven years I have endured a great deal of stress, burnout, and an increase in OCD symptoms.
I am fortunate; I have not been very handicapped in my life or work. I have dealt mostly with the need to straighten things, or make sure objects around me are"just right," and also thoughts . . . not blasphemous . . . just thoughts that crowd into my awareness like the bits of conversation you hear when sitting in a restaurant with people talking at tables around you . . . but I can be alone and still hear them! This symptom has diminished some as I continue to recover from burnout.

Perhaps the most troubling expression of my OCD is in the area of conscience. I make it my goal to keep "a clear conscience before God and man" as Paul would say. I want nothing to hinder my relationship with Jesus. There are several areas in my life that deal with inner purity (purposely vague here). While I don't struggle with pornography, or acting out in plainly sinful ways, I do struggle with impure thoughts that simply intrude into my awareness. I do not believe that an impure thought is sin at first . . . it is a temptation to sin. As James would teach, only when a desire (impure thought) has "conceived" . . . that is, I have embraced the thought with my will, does it become a sin. And of course, sometimes the impure thought is embraced.
When that happens I quickly confess my sin, and receive God's forgiveness. But, if it is one of those obsessive intrusions of thought, or an image, that will not easily go away, I go to Romans 6 and by faith thank God that I am "dead to (name the lustful thought), and alive to the purity of Christ. This often stops the intrusions. Or, I may simply picture that impure thought actually pounding the nail into Christ's wrist (recall Bill Gothard) and that will work.
It is also true that a temptation can "feel" sinful and then you have to wrestle with whether it actually was sinful or not. At that point I just confess it whether I think it is sinful or not.
Oh the mental "games" we play!
I am also learning that I do not have to give in to the sense of shame that accompanies an impure thought, not to mention a thought that becomes sinful, because Jesus took that shame on Himself on the cross, so that I don't have to carry it.
I am supposing that it is the OCD that will at times bring these thoughts back again and again . . . of course Satan "piggybacks" on these occasions! And there are times (you guys know what I mean) when I am just more susceptible to impure thoughts!
Any comments out there about any of this?

One more area that is even harder to explain, but I'll give it a shot . . . it is again tied to lustful impurity. Let's say I have acted out an "arousing" thought or desire in some way. To others observing me, it does not appear to be sinful at all, but rather normal. My experience of it as being lustful is hidden inside of me. As it happens, I have attached the sense of being aroused with an activity that isn't necessarily arousing to others. But, once I am "convicted" that this is sinful for me, I stop this activity and establish a firm "prohibition" against it . . . e.g., I will never wear that again, or do that again, etc. Remember, this is a very normal activity to most others. But as soon as I have an experience of arousal around it, it becomes prohibited, period! Sometime later, I may say, or wear, or do this thing again, this time with no sense of arousal. And so, I see it as being something that is not in itself sinful for me anymore. Everything's OK . . . until . . . the thought enters my mind that God may still deem it sinful for me. Well, I say to myself, "It's a normal thing that is no longer arousing, so it must be OK." But then I don't want to do anything that will hinder my relationship with God. . . And so the battle in my mind and soul wages on. . . until utterly exhausted, I say "I give up!" And I re-establish the prohibition. I determine that it's easier to just NOT do it again, than to engage in this crazy-making battle in my head.
Can anyone relate to this at all?

 

[Tredoslop]

Hi,

I have a very severe form of religious OCD, where I am mentally assulted by blasphemous thoughts against the Holy Spirit and God repeatedly everyday. The problem is when I have a blasphemous thought and I am doing something or planning to do something, I can no longer do the intended action because I feel like it is tainted, and by continuing with the action I will be condoning the blasphemous thought, and thereby would likely go to hell. For example, if I am about to click on a link on the internet and I have a blasphemous thought while clicking on it, I have to back out and not go to the site. Or if I am looking for an apartment and I have a blasphemous thought while reading about it I have to refuse the apartment, etc. My conscience just will not sit right if I go through with the action that I had the OCD thought on. Also, sometimes I have a blasphemous thought against the Holy Spirit and make a vow to not proceed with an intended action because of the blasphemous thought that occured while considering it. OCD is literally eating away at my life and life opportunities. I feel painted into a corner. I feel like OCD is a matrix that I need to get out of, but getting out of it may involve sinning against my conscience and possibly the Holy Spirit, by going through with actions that are tainted by the thoughts or possible actions I made vows about. I feel like my brain is crippling in on itself.

Can anyone relate? Has anyone had help with natural remedies??? I have heard good things about Dr. Mary Reed's protocol (which I need money for, which is hard to do because the cursing blasphemous thoughts prohibit me from doing nearly everything that I initially set out to do which includes opportunities for making money). I need money to help treat myself, yet transgressing against the Holy Spirit and losing my salvation is not worth the money. Help???

Thanks.

You are not alone.
I feel just like this right now, and I'm am just so upset at my conscience. I've become so calculative of everything I do. It's literally taken away my freedom in Christ. At the same time, it feels so real, and now it's getting real complicated. I want to be obedient to Christ, but at the same time, I feel confused at my condition. I hate OCD. I can't even come to describe what I'm going through.

But stay strong in the Lord!

I feel trapped just as you.

 

[deapea]

Hi everyone! This if my first post here. I have had OCD my whole life. I jokingly call it CDO, in alphabetical order!

I seen people suggest otc remedies to help....which is nice. I just wanted to add one thing...you should atoll do this under a doctors care....or at the least, consult a pharmacist (IMO, they know more). Some otc drugs can still have adverse reaction....our cause problems like high blood pressure. St. John's Wort being one.

 

[michaelrich]

Hi . . . thanks for your response and your prayers. I'm doing fairly well most of the time. I would really like to find an author/researcher who is familiar with how OCD affects the operation of conscience. I will try to do some research on this when I can.

Thanks.