- Feb 22, 2019
- 4
- 1
- 35
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Charismatic
- Marital Status
- Married
I have not yet officially been diagnosed by a doctor for OCD, but when I read about religious scrupulosity it sounds exactly like what I suffer from. For years I have struggled with the urge to make vows to God due to a sudden fear that I will accidentally make a vow telling God that I will not do something that I can fact want to do. Being overcome with anxiety and fear I thought that the best thing to do was to make a vow telling God that whatever I desired to actually do, I would in fact do that thing (it sounds crazy, I know), I thought this would help.
A couple of years later I felt God calling me to go on and continue my education in the subject of theology. Out of fear that I would accidentally make an oath to God telling Him that I would not go to a certain university that I actually wanted to go to, I made an oath about a certain university. This was rather foolish for many reasons; one of them being that the job market that I want to pursue after my education would most likely turn down an applicant from this university (I did not understand this at the time of my vow), another reason being that I have found better education that I would much rather pursue and some of it is less expensive.
I have been struggling with these vows for over a year. I am tired of trying to figure out what to do. Should I go with whatever Univerity I want to since that would fall under my first vow? Or should I just stick with the institution that I specifically vowed? Or are these even binding?
A couple of years later I felt God calling me to go on and continue my education in the subject of theology. Out of fear that I would accidentally make an oath to God telling Him that I would not go to a certain university that I actually wanted to go to, I made an oath about a certain university. This was rather foolish for many reasons; one of them being that the job market that I want to pursue after my education would most likely turn down an applicant from this university (I did not understand this at the time of my vow), another reason being that I have found better education that I would much rather pursue and some of it is less expensive.
I have been struggling with these vows for over a year. I am tired of trying to figure out what to do. Should I go with whatever Univerity I want to since that would fall under my first vow? Or should I just stick with the institution that I specifically vowed? Or are these even binding?