OCD and Bargains

[Hermit7]

Hi, as some of you know, I have a constant obsession about bargaining my salvation for whatever (If you allow me to do this God then you could take away my salvation).
Just today, I had these bargains happen to me for:
1.) Allowing me to write an email for work and to do other work related things
2.) For allowing me to change lanes, safely.
3.) For allowing me to test God regarding whether something will cost me my salvation or not (sounds weird, I know).
I know my salvation is garunteed the moment I receive it. But when I have these things, it all feels so real. I don’t want to lose my salvation. But these bargains just happen automatically in my head.
How do I distinguish them from reality? How do I stop them?
-Hermit

 

[tripletiger1200]

Just assume none of them are real. I mean, you're afraid of them and dislike them, you obviously don't want to do it. You can't make an agreement against your will. Also, you've made so many of these bargains already and yet you continue to bargain, so it means that you obviously still have a salvation to bargain with, and God's not taking your bargain. Plus, God wants you to be saved, He's not going to just decide one day that he's irritated and change His mind. If He didn't want to save you He wouldn't have given you belief and fear of Him in the first place.

 

[OCD=Owie]

I agree with tripletiger. At some point, you just have to stop giving so much attention to these fears.

 

[bsellars]

I have been having thoughts recently of trading my salvation. I attribute them to my OCD, but they too seem real. The difference is this; I struggle with an addiction to pornography and physical attraction to women other than my wife. I have been having thoughts that I would trade my salvation in order to have sex with whomever I want; so it is incredibly hard to tell if these thoughts are legitimate because of the nature of them (the true temptation of lust and the lie of trading salvation). I have been trying to figure in my mind what God thinks of having a temptation to trade your salvation or thinking that you would. I am afraid he might just take it from me. What are everyone's thoughts, especially those who are very knowledgeable in theology and biblical issues.?

 

[OCD=Owie]

I have been having thoughts recently of trading my salvation. I attribute them to my OCD, but they too seem real. The difference is this; I struggle with an addiction to pornography and physical attraction to women other than my wife. I have been having thoughts that I would trade my salvation in order to have sex with whomever I want; so it is incredibly hard to tell if these thoughts are legitimate because of the nature of them (the true temptation of lust and the lie of trading salvation). I have been trying to figure in my mind what God thinks of having a temptation to trade your salvation or thinking that you would. I am afraid he might just take it from me. What are everyone's thoughts, especially those who are very knowledgeable in theology and biblical issues.?

Temptation in and of itself isn't sin. It's how you react to those temptations that matter. Feeling attraction for women other than your wife is normal. We're men for pete's sake, stuff like that is normal. But it's about what you do in response to that temptation.

As for pornography, that's like any other sin. It's paid for by Christ. You can't lose your salvation over it. Obviously, it's not a good habit to have, and you should try to stop it, but there's no way that it takes away your salvation.

As for your fears of losing salvation because you fear that you would rather have sex with anybody you want rather than have your salvation, you have to realize that the very fact you are so worried about it indicates that you are underestimating how much you value your salvation.

I mean, you're clearly distressed over the fear that you might be able to lose it. If it was something that you cared so little about that you would choose sex over Him, then you probably wouldn't be so worried in the first place.

It might help if you thought of it like this. If you could have two buttons in front of you right now, one that let you keep your salvation, and one that let you have sex with whoever you want, which one would you press?

That's just a little trick that might help you see what you would really do. It helped me a little, but if it doesn't help you, then don't worry about it. Everybody's different with their OCD.

One more thing, if you accepted Christ into your heart, then you don't have to worry about losing your salvation. All sins are forgiven, and you can't change that. Any time irrational fears pop into your head about whether you value your salvation more than such-and-such a thing, you can know that you are saved forever.

 

[Hermit7]

Thanks again for all of your replies.

Tonight, I had another "bargian". This time, it was driving home late at night and taking a highway as opposed to another route.

It was something, like would you rather take this familiar route or keep your salvation. I think I said "yes" and took that route. I don't want to lose my salvation. And I guess some level at me didn't believe (or refuse to believe) that the bargain was real.

But anyway, I ended up apologizing to God and asking Him not to take away my salvaiton. Even now, the feeling of worry still hangs on to me.

-Hermit

 

[SoldierOfSoul]

Just try and focus on what's real and based on facts and not suggestions of OCD. You know deep down that your salvation is fundamentally grounded in Christ and His character and it cannot be taken away by some mindless OCD bargain. Your soul is held in the mighty hands of God and nothing can snatch you from His hands. Hold on to this truth no matter what.

Blessings.
SoS

 

[OCD=Owie]

Yes, what soldierofthesoul said. No matter what form this comes in, you can't just keep asking for assurance that you haven't "bargained away" your salvation. It's a compulsion, and can only make things worse for you in the long run.

 

[Hermit7]

So nothing can take it away. Even today I struggled with a "deal" regarding apartments I'm looking for. It's just so hard not to worry. But why do I still worry? Even the act of posting this causes me to worry about my salvation.


-Hermit

 

[OCD=Owie]

So nothing can take it away. Even today I struggled with a "deal" regarding apartments I'm looking for. It's just so hard not to worry. But why do I still worry? Even the act of posting this causes me to worry about my salvation.


-Hermit

You worry because you have a chemical deficiency in your brain, just like the rest of us who have OCD.

And no, it is not impossible to stop worrying. It's just impossible to stop worrying by performing compulsions. It sounds strange, but being nonchalant about your worries is the best way to get them to stop.

Now, of course, it isn't always easy to just ignore your obsessions, which is why therapy and medication can help greatly.

 

[Hermit7]

Hi OCD,

Just now I had a moment where I feared I dealt away my salvation just for directing my dad's attention to my mom who was calling him.

When you talk about medication I'm currently using trazadone. I'm trying to cope with these fears in my mind. If you were in my shoes, what would be the steps you would take when a moment like this happens?

-Hermit

 

[Starlightsobright]

Just try and focus on what's real and based on facts and not suggestions of OCD. You know deep down that your salvation is fundamentally grounded in Christ and His character and it cannot be taken away by some mindless OCD bargain. Your soul is held in the mighty hands of God and nothing can snatch you from His hands. Hold on to this truth no matter what.

Blessings.
SoS

Well written.
We need to trust in God and he knows iour heart and our struggles and intentions.

 

[OCD=Owie]

Hi OCD,

Just now I had a moment where I feared I dealt away my salvation just for directing my dad's attention to my mom who was calling him.

When you talk about medication I'm currently using trazadone. I'm trying to cope with these fears in my mind. If you were in my shoes, what would be the steps you would take when a moment like this happens?

-Hermit

I would do my best to just be non-chalant about it. Make the assumption that everything is okay, and get on with my life.

I don't want to make it sound like it's easy, but it is something that works if you can master it.

I've never heard of trazadone, but I'm no expert in the field of medicine. Did a mental health professional prescribe it to you for OCD?

 

[Mr. Runningfish]

Wow. I've been "bargaining" for as long as I can remember. I had no idea other people did this, or that it was considered an OCD.

I've kind of come to terms with it and I no longer do it for every little thing. But I catch myself doing it and then I have to remember, He's God. He doesn't bargain.

 

[OCD=Owie]

Sounds like you were able to figure it out. That's great!