Obesity

[Fatolia]

This is likely to be a very controversial topic, so I'll try to lay down as many disclaimers as possible.

1) I used to be VERY obese, as in 60 pounds overweight when I was 12 years old.
2) Some of my very close friends are obese people.
3) I've dated an obese person before.

This is hopefully to prevent any personal attacks, as I am not an "obesist." (as opposed to racist, sexist, etc.)

It's been a common theme on these forums to say that obesity is a physical turn-off. Although I really can't argue much with that, I think there's a greater issue here...the bad habits. Obesity is usually caused by something, by bad eating or lack of physical activity.

I understand that for some women, they cannot lose weight no matter how hard they try. I'm not talking about those people (in fact, some of them are VERY attractive in my eyes). I'm referring to those who constantly consume starches, sweets, junk food, and cholesterol-inducing trans fats regularly and don't exercise.

But what about the effects that those behaviors would have on children? Would I want a wife who doesn't care about her children's dietary habits little on her own? Would I want to see them grow up with diabates, high blood pressure, and low self-esteem? No matter how I feel about her, I would not want to marry a woman who is obese because of the habits she'd pass on to other people (including me and especially any children we'd have). I think a woman after God's heart will not live to eat but eat to live, to make certain that her body is in top shape to serve God.

**EDIT** I only refer to women here because I am a man and am attracted to women. If I were a woman, then please switch out the word "woman" to "man."

 

[lady_of_god]

But what about the effects that those behaviors would have on children? Would I want a wife who doesn't care about her children's dietary habits little on her own? Would I want to see them grow up with diabates, high blood pressure, and low self-esteem? No matter how I feel about her, I would not want to marry a woman who is obese because of the habits she'd pass on to other people (including me and especially any children we'd have). I think a woman after God's heart will not live to eat but eat to live, to make certain that her body is in top shape to serve God.

Guess i'm going to have to say as far as marrying (or not) an obese person "To each their own". There is more to a person besides their dietary habits and i feel as long as they put in an effort to better themselves I wouldn't hold it against them.

Here is another thought however...

Lets say that obesity wasn't their problem but alcohol, overworking, smoking, drugs, lying, or any other bad habits you can think of is that person's problem. Would want to marry them because you think "Hey at least my SO isn't obese"?

I guess i think that obesity is a problem, but so are alot of other things. Its about what your willing to commit to and live with.

I have no problem with a few extra pounds, in my personal opinion its the lesser of other problems that are in the world. Plus I won't deny what could be my my future husband because of how the scale tips. I rather marry an overweight loving man of Jesus Christ. Then an physically fit unbeliever.

-Lady

 

[Sketcher]

If a woman doesn't take good care of herself, she probably wouldn't make a good mother. If she does and still can't lose weight, that's just genetics.

I definitely hear you on the habits thing. When I worked fast food, I'd see very fat women buy pizza for their kid's breakfast - that is irresponsible.

 

[fishstix]

I think it is important to mention that being underweight due to eating disorders is extremely dangerous. I would hate to see someone prone to eating disorders like anorexia or bulimia read this thread and take it as confirmation that if they don't become skinny they will never find a spouse.

 

[Fatolia]

I think it is important to mention that being underweight due to eating disorders is extremely dangerous. I would hate to see someone prone to eating disorders like anorexia or bulimia read this thread and take it as confirmation that if they don't become skinny they will never find a spouse.

Very good point fishstix. Thank you for bringing it up.

This thread is for the primary purpose of overeating (ie 800+ g of starches a day for a 5' high woman). Eating 2000 calories a day is okay. If a woman eats healthy and has a few extra pounds, it is very unlikely that men will think she is unattractive because of it. VERY unlikely. At least for me. I'm talking about here someone who's 50-60 lbs overweight.

 

[sweetlambofgod]

you cna't help being over weight sometimes though

 

[BeautyForAshes]

So does all this logic apply to men as well? Does fat men suck as fathers too, since if they can't lose weight and take care of themselves, then they obvisouly can't take care of their own kids, right? And how about taking care of the wife? Man, what kind of headship can a fat husband provide?

Does that men that fat ministers/pastors/evangelist should be teaching the Word of God too? I mean, after all, if they can't take care of themselves, are we sure they can take care of their flock properly?

Good grief.

Great thread. <----written with sarcasm.

 

[Jon_]

So does all this logic apply to men as well? Does fat men suck as fathers too, since if they can't lose weight and take care of themselves, then they obvisouly can't take care of their own kids, right? And how about taking care of the wife? Man, what kind of headship is a fat husband?

Does that men that fat ministers/pastors/evangelist are able to effectively teach the Word of God too. I mean, after all, if they can't take care of themselves, are we sure they can take care of their flock?

Good grief.

Great thread. <----written with sarcasm.

I can only speak for myself, but my overweight problem was tied to my lifestyle and eating habits. I used to eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it, and never got any exercise. As a result, I put on the pounds. At some point, I realized that I was squandering the body that God has given me. True, it only affected me, and it was my problem, but I think it was still wrong. Basically, I was saying to God, "I don't need to take care of myself. It's too much work, and I want to eat what I want, anyway." I had a selfish attitude about my lifestyle.

Thankfully, God opened my eyes to my selfishness. He pointed out that my eating habits and lack of exercise were unhealthful, and that I wasn't maintaining the temple that He had given me. I started to realize that I had let myself go by the wayside. When I looked in the mirror, I didn't like what I saw. Basically, I saw years of selfish abandon. So, I started working out and eating healthy. I'm still not quite down to my optimal weight (I'll be a rail by the time I get there!), but the most important factor is that I changed my lifestyle for the better. God revealed the selfishness inherent in my weight, and led me to correct it.

He also showed me that my body is not my own. Not only am I his child, but He has also pledged my body to a future wife. The Bible says that I should love my wife as I love my body. Well, if I don't love my body enough to take care of it, how much am I going to love my wife? It takes sacrifice and hard work to keep your body trim and fit. How much more effort does it take to keep a relationship healthy? On top of that, I want to be fit and attractive to her. I know that whoever she is, I will adore her and worship her (figuratively). I want her to have the same buring desire--that deep dull ache that doesn't go away--for me as I will have for her. I want her to look at me and find me pleasing to her eye. To have a woman that desires me emotionally, spiritually, and physically would be a tremendous blessing. So, I temper my body for her, whoever she may be, that she should find my body delightful.

I do think this is a subject that should be explored. We should take care of ourselves because God loves us. He doesn't want us to grow lax and lethargic. He wants us to be disciplined in everything we do. We're called to temperance. We should take care of our bodies because this is good and pleasing to the Lord. He desires that we be healthy and fruitful. It does injustice to our witness if we are undisciplined and overweight. That is very much an outward sign of our own shortcomings. We should seek to remedy that.

 

[PetraFan007]

I've seen women that are over 200 pounds that I've found attractive. Curves are beautiful....so don't worry women. :-D

 

[BeautyForAshes]

My issue isn't with what someone finds attractive or not because that's not important (subjective).

What bothered me was the fact that assumptions are made regarding someone's walk with Christ or their parenting skills being called into question because they carry more weight - more specifically women (as usual).

All im the name of "helping" I guess. Man, i pray that no one else with a ED stumbles unto this thread.

 

[Fatolia]

Again, we take a discussion that hopefully inspires thoughtful debate and it turns into a flamewar.

 

[hischildsindik]

BeautyForAshes, I perfectly agree with you. Assumptions should not be made about a persons skills as a parent or even about them as people, based upon their physical appearance.

I've known women who eat right, very little, get exercise and still are overweight, obese by societies terms. What of them? Would that then still make them bad mothers or lazy workers? You'd be surprised how many women are self-consious about this and try remarkably hard with their children to forge healthy behaviors. But you know what, society is showing all the children differently. Look at the statistics, I do not know them really, but children nowadays are more overweight and obese than ever. TV tells us to eat this and to eat that, the cereal boxes bost the newest cartoon character to get our kids to eat the sweet processsed garbage foods and society has kept much of us from being real parents, in that kids (many, not all families of course) tend to rule the parents, so the parents give in to the childrens whining and crying and buy the garbage that the marketers entice our children with. It is also because of the fast food, video games, the over processing/chemical addatives and growth addatives, of even the good things to eat. The hormones used in much of the cattle and hogs, that can't be good for us. Young girls nowadays are starting their menstral cycles earlier and earlier... do you think it's just coincidence? I think it's part our own doing, as a society we are doing this to ourselves and our children.

....sighs and steps down off soap box.

And no, I don't have children yet, but these are all things I will be watching and weighing carefully when I do. And guess what? I am overweight. Shocker, huh? ....

sigh... steps down of final soap box and goes to bed.

 

[Jon_]

Again, we take a discussion that hopefully inspires thoughtful debate and it turns into a flamewar.

I don't see it taking that turn at all. Maybe you're just being to sensitive to opposing views. If you truly stand by your assertion, then step up and defend it.

 

[Fatolia]

BeautyForAshes, I perfectly agree with you. Assumptions should not be made about a persons skills as a parent or even about them as people, based upon their physical appearance.

I've known women who eat right, very little, get exercise and still are overweight, obese by societies terms. What of them? Would that then still make them bad mothers or lazy workers? You'd be surprised how many women are self-consious about this and try remarkably hard with their children to forge healthy behaviors. But you know what, society is showing all the children differently. Look at the statistics, I do not know them really, but children nowadays are more overweight and obese than ever. TV tells us to eat this and to eat that, the cereal boxes bost the newest cartoon character to get our kids to eat the sweet processsed garbage foods and society has kept much of us from being real parents, in that kids (many, not all families of course) tend to rule the parents, so the parents give in to the childrens whining and crying and buy the garbage that the marketers entice our children with. It is also because of the fast food, video games, the over processing/chemical addatives and growth addatives, of even the good things to eat. The hormones used in much of the cattle and hogs, that can't be good for us. Young girls nowadays are starting their menstral cycles earlier and earlier... do you think it's just coincidence? I think it's part our own doing, as a society we are doing this to ourselves and our children.

....sighs and steps down off soap box.

And no, I don't have children yet, but these are all things I will be watching and weighing carefully when I do. And guess what? I am overweight. Shocker, huh? ....

sigh... steps down of final soap box and goes to bed.

Good point.

Like I said, there's not a problem with overweightness..there's a problem with bad eating/exercise habits. I have no problem with overweightness. I must tell you, obesity is genetic in my family. I'd put on twenty pounds in two months upon eating a McD diet. But I eat healthy and exercise everyday, and by God's grace have been able to sustain this. From the scientific data I've seen on obesity and the kind of eating habits/weight correlations I saw in the college dorm cafeterias, I find it very difficult to believe that ANYONE could be obese if they follow the Atkins/Makers/SugarBusters/etc. diets that have scientific and clinically proven results and stay with them.

There is a book by Dr. Don Colbert "What Would Jesus Eat?" which is a really fascinating study on why we overeat. Most often, it's used as a drug, to curb depression. Comfort foods as they're called provide an immediate endorphin release (as well as insulin response), and once we get addicted to this endorphin release, it becomes compulsive, and we end up eating garbage even when we're full. It's the compulsion to eat a sugary dessert after every meal or have three scoops of sugar in your coffee. Colbert suggests we break this habit by turning to God when we are depressed, to rely on him to pull us through when we're feeling down.

One of my pastor friends is a very obese man, but he loves Jesus very much. However, he has heart problems and is edging on diabetes. His wife is so large she has to travel in a wheelchair. Anyone who tries to approach him on this issue is shot down very quickly. They cling very tightly to their dietary habits. This cannot be a way you can serve God efficiently.

You can't blame television on your kids eating habits. A responsibility as a parent is to discipline their children accordingly and teach them through reason. If you just tell them not to eat junk food, they'll do it anyway. Show them why. I know a lady in her seventies who is worried about her grandson because he's so big (she is practically his guardian). Yet she bakes cookies all the time and stashes them in the freezer. For breakfast, he doesn't eat oatmeal or eggs, he eats cookies. For lunch? A doughnut. Dinner? Mashed potatoes, gravy, and several PB balls.

 

[BeautyForAshes]

I don't see it taking that turn at all. Maybe you're just being to sensitive to opposing views. If you truly stand by your assertion, then step up and defend it.

I concur.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I do think that we as individuals should try out best to be as healthy as possible, especially now given that our society makes it sooooo easy to be inactive. For example, many schools have cut out PE and recess, but yet the food they serve is not any healthier and the number of kids using hyperactivity drugs increase (which makes you slothful).

Goodness, I remember having recess three times a day!

But nonetheless, one's witness can not entirely be based on their weight.

 

[Fatolia]

I do think that we as individuals should try out best to be as healthy as possible, especially now given that our society makes it sooooo easy to be inactive.
But nonetheless, one's witness can not entirely be based on their weight.

True, not entirely based. But definitely affected and possibly hampered.

 

[growingupinhim]

True, not entirely based. But definitely affected and possibly hampered.

its true..take rick warren famous christian author..lately hes been on tv alot in interviews and has really put on the pounds.not to long ago he was your average healthy guy. now though when I see him, i know his heart..however his neck and face show lack of moderation..
God wants us to let our moderation be known to all men.
by Gods grace and self control we can be healthy..also Gods word has alot to say about food! Good foods and bad foods. peace.

 

[fishstix]

I'm talking about here someone who's 50-60 lbs overweight.

From the scientific data I've seen on obesity and the kind of eating habits/weight correlations I saw in the college dorm cafeterias, I find it very difficult to believe that ANYONE could be obese if they follow the Atkins/Makers/SugarBusters/etc. diets that have scientific and clinically proven results and stay with them.

There are some people who do become and stay overweight - even 50-60 lbs or more overweight - even though they do their best to eat sensibly and excercise. And some people's metabolisms/hormones/etc. keep them looking 'healthy' even though they eat horrible diets and don't excercise much at all. So while weight may indicate healthy or unhealthy lifestyle choices, it isn't a perfect indicator. An obese person may indeed set a better example for his/her children than a thin person. You can't tell for sure just by looking at the person's physical appearance. The only way to be sure is to actually get to know that person and find out what they are really like and what sort of lifestyle they really live.

As far as the dieting thing goes, a lot of diets are actually dangerous - especially fad diets like the whole 'low-carb' thing. Anyone who is going to go on a diet should only do so after actually consulting their doctor. Reading books written by doctors is not a substitute for actually seeing one and getting personalized advice.

 

[lunalinda]

Obesity because of willful habits (purposely eating obviously unhealthy food without exercising it off in SOME type of way) isn't appealing or attractive. I'd fear for my partner's health in the long-run, but fearful of their parenting methods? Eh...I dunno. Of course I wouldn't want my kids to be taught unhealthy eating habits. Heck, even I gotta work on that. My dietary habits aren't great at all, I don't think. They're not terribly bad either, but...well...they need some improvements. I surely don't want my kids to think it's okay to not eat veggies just because mommy doesn't eat them when she fully knows how healthy veggies are. Veggies are NASTY btw lol.

I'm a plump person myself. And be proud of me for saying "plump," because I usually almost always say that I'm horridly fat and gross, but tend to be scolded by many people for thinking that way, namely guys, the ones who actually DO like my physical shape. They tell me it's sexy curves and all that stuff when in MY reality, they're rolls of blubbery fat. *groan* Oh oops...lol. I'm so very very stubborn and it takes a lot to penetrate that. Ahem.

Anyway...the only exercise I get is from my 8 hour job stocking at a retail store and BELIEVE ME, if you haven't worked retail, then know that stocking one is exercise enough! Pulling, pushing, and lifting heavy boxes combined with climbing and WALKING?!?!? So yes, that is my exercise. My eating habits aren't that great either, in that I eat like one main meal a day most of the time, with little snacks and such in between. When I say "day," I literally mean it, since I work nights. In the night, I tend to eat a small meal too, like a microwaveable meal. And did I mention I'm a carbohydrate addict? I need a 12 step program lol.

Should people, including myself, take better care of themselves? Better care of our temples, God's home? Yesiree. Of course. Should we assume that bad eating habits will make us bad parents? NOT AT ALL! I just think that it's in everyone's best interest in the long run to be healthy and pass that along to future. Oyyy I've got some work to do on this here temple of mine.

 

[JPPT1974]

I am against plastic surgery and what you all need to do is eat more fruits, veggies, grains, and exercise daily. Do it the old-school way.