My OCD shows itself in different ways but my most irritable form is the numbers!
Thanks to my OCD I've been great at math as far back as I can remember able to figure out all sorts of problems in my head. People think I'm skilled and gifted... But they don't realize how annoying it is when the numbers won't leave my head! The paxil has helped but I get days... that will sometimes go on for days... where the numbers won't stop going through my head. Dates, phone numbers, page numbers, get them in my head and instantly my mind starts picking them apart by dividing then adding... I can go on for hours over one phone number. It's disgusting really, like mathmatical porn, and I can't get the numbers to stop!
Thursday night I was so wired I couldn't sleep. I had a phone number zooming through my head, it was a cell number and around 4:30 am I got so frustrated, lonely and unable to sleep I went down to the phone and dialed it! Fortunately it was my sister's cell number and she was up and on her way to work... but she still thought me nuts. (Great, now I'm playing w ith the time)
Sometimes reading helps but then there are chapter numbers and the pages are numbered... and I play with letters too.... I take a word and alphabetize the letters in it and stuff like that.
Sometimes I obsess about self harm... which is probably the most destructive but somehow it doesn't seem as crazy as the number thing.
I need some relief.




Thanks to my OCD I've been great at math as far back as I can remember able to figure out all sorts of problems in my head. People think I'm skilled and gifted... But they don't realize how annoying it is when the numbers won't leave my head! The paxil has helped but I get days... that will sometimes go on for days... where the numbers won't stop going through my head. Dates, phone numbers, page numbers, get them in my head and instantly my mind starts picking them apart by dividing then adding... I can go on for hours over one phone number. It's disgusting really, like mathmatical porn, and I can't get the numbers to stop!
Thursday night I was so wired I couldn't sleep. I had a phone number zooming through my head, it was a cell number and around 4:30 am I got so frustrated, lonely and unable to sleep I went down to the phone and dialed it! Fortunately it was my sister's cell number and she was up and on her way to work... but she still thought me nuts. (Great, now I'm playing w ith the time)
Sometimes reading helps but then there are chapter numbers and the pages are numbered... and I play with letters too.... I take a word and alphabetize the letters in it and stuff like that.
Sometimes I obsess about self harm... which is probably the most destructive but somehow it doesn't seem as crazy as the number thing.
I need some relief.



