Nothing is working

[lemonflavor]

Lexapro-can't live with it, can't live without it. It's a good antidpressant for anyone thinking about taking it. My doc had me try to go off it to see if it was causing any problems and that was a disaster. So I recently asked if I could try increasing it and that doesn't seem to be working either.

I lowered another drug I'm taking and that seems to have backfired also. Today I was "tired and wired" to the max and was thinking about suicide, though would never act on it. This hasn't happened in quite a while. I'm going to go back to where I was on that but there are some drawbacks to that too.

My current doc is as confused as I am as to why I'm getting worse. So he isn't much help. And I'm still trying to find a new doc and insurance.

Please pray that taking the other drug back up will help, along with some extra Ativan and that I would get out of this mixed state.

 

[spdnet75]

lemonflavor, some of us take anti-psychotics for our depression, some of us take anti-depressents and still others take nothing at all.

What is right for you may require the fresh mind that you are searching for. I just saw a new doctor last week (Not by choice, but by the program I am in.) and I was both impressed by something in his personality and put off by his blatant lack of compassion.

We live with an illness that leaves the practitioners as confused, or more confused than the clients.

I do believe that there is an answer for you as an individual. I recommend taking note of all of your symptoms, what seems to bring on certain bouts of misbehavior for you and being as painfully honest with your physician as you can be.

For me, research on my illness and the meds that have been tried with respect to my treatment, has made a big difference. Question this person. They work for you and with any luck, genuinely care about what they might do to help you to feel better.

Stephen

 

[berry2000]

Wow...that is exactly how i feel and what i go through. I take lexapro too along with remeron and seroquel. Sounds like you are in the med hell with me.

 

[Alive again]

lemonflavor, continuing in prayer for you and for your situation. I remember these days. It is frustrating and we are tempted to just give up the search for the right med or combo. But whne you find it and it begins to work, those memeories bedome distant and the battle is worth it. However in the midst of it all it is hard to keep your perspective. I pray that these days of confusion and frustration will be sahort and few and that your will find the doc and the medicine you need quickly as well as get quick response to your soc sec stuff as well. My prayers are with you! Rember that God will never leave or foraske you, feelings can be deceptive, esp in the midst of such frustrating times, but the truth remains unchanged, God is with you!

 

[wonderwaleye]

Dear Lemonflavor


I am sorry to hear your have SO MUCH trouble.


But from what I can see the situation has GONE BEYOND SERIOUS!!! ACTION is needed NOW!!!


Have someone COMMIT you to a mental care unit!!! This way you will get intensive treatment for at least 28 days straight. You will be seeing more than just one doctor.


If you can't find someone to do it, call the police dept. or sheriff's dept and tell them your going to commit the FINAL ACT!!!


This action can also get you COMMITED.


There is NO DISCRACE in being committed for a disease that is out of control!!! I've been there, done that!!!


As a result my life has been GOOD for over 3 years!!!


JUST REMEMBER:




X Even though you can't see him, GOD is there!!! O
( click on the x and drag to the O ) ( then see who is with you ) steven

 

[lemonflavor]

The mixed state stuff has subsided. Still don't feel well at all but at least better than yesterday. I need to fill out some financial aid papers first (for sliding scale) before this place will refer me to a doctor. Thankfully I have my wife to help me with that.

I'm not bad enough for the hospital, plus that would wipe out our savings and would cause a huge amount of stress.

Thanks for the prayers.

 

[berry2000]

I agree with you lemonflavor doesn't sound like you need to be committed. I'm not saying it's not serious or minimizing what you are going through at all. And I feel your pain, i'm right there with ya, you seem to be doing the right stuff.

A wise friend asked me, and I don't mean to be simplistic in anyway, but a wise friend asked me am I spending time alone w/ God (devotions, the bible, praying). My answer was NO! It's too hard right now. She encouraged me to do it anyway...and it helped. Just food for thought.

 

[lemonflavor]

Always spending time with God but of course striving to look to Him more and more. Right now reading Spiritual Direction by Henri Nouwen.

Although... I have been "busier" lately, with a little work which is a big deal for me and nothing for others, and haven't been reading as much. I think that's been a factor.

 

[spdnet75]

There is no longer a 28 day program for us regular people. (Unless you are a hardcore Heroine addict.)

Playing crazy and calling the police, may buy you into some form of program, but you will likely give up your right to check out at your will, which is far too scary for people in our situation.

If you have a substance abuse problem, you can check in for a 3-5 day detox, but that is of no use, unless you are an alcoholic, like me and are in immediate physical danger from withdrawal.

Tell your doctor what is up and hold Him/Her responsible. They're dealing with your life.

Stephen

 

[PrairieGurl]

lemonflavor, continuing in prayer for you and for your situation. I remember these days. It is frustrating and we are tempted to just give up the search for the right med or combo. But whne you find it and it begins to work, those memeories bedome distant and the battle is worth it. However in the midst of it all it is hard to keep your perspective. I pray that these days of confusion and frustration will be sahort and few and that your will find the doc and the medicine you need quickly as well as get quick response to your soc sec stuff as well. My prayers are with you! Rember that God will never leave or foraske you, feelings can be deceptive, esp in the midst of such frustrating times, but the truth remains unchanged, God is with you!

Lemonflavor...I SO agree with Alive again!!!
It took 15 years of (as Berry puts it) "med hell", many docs, wrong diagnosises, blah, blah, blah: till I was diagnosised correctly and was put on meds that actually make a difference in my life! My life is FAR from (and I use this word lightly) "perfect" (as that won't happen till Heaven) but I have my mind back and my moods are "some what stable". I know another problem was I was not looking to God for help. This I am changeing! I know it will make a differance in my whole being!

I agree with the of Alive again...may this time be short and days like this short.

I will be ing for you!

Wendy

 

[mysojourn]

I feel for you, Lemonflavor. I know the mixed states, "wired and tired feelings" all so well. It's so haaard to be in this state cause you don't decide if you are manic or depressed.. aargh!

Please don't give up. Remember the Lord is on your side and only has your best interests at heart and wants you to be well and to bless your life.. so hope in the Lord to help you. You can count on Him everytime, though finite people let us down even with best intentions cause we are prone to make mistakes..

I would keep looking for a pdoc who can help you. My current pdoc is as worthless as a hole in the head.

One thing another worthless pdoc told me that still helps me, (though he said I wasn't bipolar, just depressed) is..


"(your name here) is the world's greatest expert on (your name here).."

 

[angelkiss]

I was in the mixed state when I went into the hospital. I'm sure others have read my story and are probably tired of hearing this, but I feel that maybe it was for a reason. Not just because I went off meds and got all whacked out, but because it is a way for me to tell others and maybe help them.
I was staying up for 48 hours then getting a few hours sleep, another 24 then a few hours sleep, etc. My mind was racing out of control and I saw things I wanted to do, yet couldn't force myself to do anything. I was getting aggressive and (already being unpredictable) I was terrified of what my next move would be. I lost drastic weight and was 98 lbs when I went into the hospital. I am now on meds that are working for me, and what works for some people may not work for others but, they tried me on the new drug Tegritol and Remeron at night for sleep. The combo worked well, and three days later, they released me and put me on Equetro and Remeron. Equetro is another form of Tegritol but is time released so it's in my system longer. The Remeron has increased my appetite, and as of the last time I weighed (3 days ago) I was up to 102 1/2.
I hope you find the right meds for you and I will keep you in my prayers.
God Bless!
's and es!!