Not Sure....

[Daakota]

Hey everyone! I am writing this, because I am very confused and have no idea what to do or say. I am currently 21 years old, and when I was about 14 or 15, I began having feelings for other men. By the time I reached 16, I started dating other men, but once I became more religious, I decided I wanted to ignore this lifestyle and not continue on this destructive path...as I saw it then. Since then, I have tried my hardest to ignore my secret lifestyle. Well, I now feel like I have been living one giant lie thinking I only like women. I am really unhappy, and it all has to do with my sexuality. Part of me doesn't want to ignore my fascination for men, and then the other part of me does. I am so confused on what to do and don't know where to turn. I am writing this in hopes that someone can see this and help me, and also pray for me. Thank you very much!

 

[Shizzle]

Do you think homosexuality is sinful?
if you do, then isnt your course of action clear?
Im sure this situation has happened to many other christian men, however i am not one of them and do not possess the capability to fully understand your situation.

What is your stance on being gay? If you dont have one
You can:
A: debate this with yourself
B: try to become straight without bothering to debate it with yourself because there is no purpose
A leads to two outcomes:
1. thinking its wrong (you now go on to B except with time and energy of yours wasted)
2. thinking its not wrong (the conflict is now resolved, but imagine if you debated wrongly, and accidently misled and fooled yourself into believing lies.)
B will lead to no more options because your conflict will be resolved, but how can you know that it will be resolved? only by trying.

Jesus died for our sins so that they may be forgiven, God loves you and is waiting for you in heaven, i hope someone can relate to you.

 

[doofus125]

My honest advice for you is that you need to face this. You need to go to a pastor, a friend you trust and tell them you are struggling and ask them to support and pray with and for you. It's not an easy struggle and you may face rejection, but if you truely want to deal with this you need to find a couple people you can confide in and be totatlly open and honest with them. Just remember, they are only human and they can't fix the problem, but they can help you face it and deal with it. The most important thing is this, don't beat yourself up over this, it's something that quite honestly YOU just can't control, only God can. I know the struggle bro, not being able to express the way you feel and feeling like you are living a lie is a very burdonsome feeling. As for myself, I'm to the point of just coming out to my family, most of my friends already know (the very few I have), mostly because I'm tired of living that lie, I've been living it for 13 years now. Just be encouraged that you are not alone, I found that there were others directly around me that also struggle with this. It's not the end of the world and just remember there is always a way out, don't ever do something stupid and you know what I'm talking about, there is always someone you can turn to that cares about you that will help you.

 

[Sam Gamgee]

I agree with doofus125.
Talking through things is wonderful, and if you are truly a member of a UCC church (as the symbol under your name suggests), you are in luck.

The UCC church has a very open and affirming policy towards its gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered parishoners.

I guess it comes down to this: Do you feel shame about your homosexuality? Do you want to try and ignore your homosexuality? Do you want to try to become a heterosexual?

If the answer is "yes" to any of those questions, then you have some work ahead of you.

If the answer is "no" to all those questions, then I welcome you into the fold of glbt Christians.... You should be receiving your packet (including "the gay agenda") in the mail by the end of the week.




I'm kidding... it takes at least a month to get the packet.

 

[eastcoast_bsc]

Do you think homosexuality is sinful?
if you do, then isnt your course of action clear?
Im sure this situation has happened to many other christian men, however i am not one of them and do not possess the capability to fully understand your situation.

What is your stance on being gay? If you dont have one
You can:
A: debate this with yourself
B: try to become straight without bothering to debate it with yourself because there is no purpose
A leads to two outcomes:
1. thinking its wrong (you now go on to B except with time and energy of yours wasted)
2. thinking its not wrong (the conflict is now resolved, but imagine if you debated wrongly, and accidently misled and fooled yourself into believing lies.)
B will lead to no more options because your conflict will be resolved, but how can you know that it will be resolved? only by trying.

Jesus died for our sins so that they may be forgiven, God loves you and is waiting for you in heaven, i hope someone can relate to you.

Fo Shizzle my Nizzle LOL just a play on your name, I am sure you will get it. . Ok I am writing to ask you, how you propose someone go straight? Is it just an abitrary feeling one chooses , to be gay? Or is it more than just an abitrary feeling and more a feeling that one feels at the onset of puberty , regardless of religious, ethnic or any other belief system. I can share from experience that these feelings are unsolicted and definitely not abitrary. All go through the same process of fear and denial. Usually resulting in a lot of Psychological turmoil . The usual process is that one prays incessantly and asks God to make them straight, this usually results in more mental anguish and guilt , when the feelings do not abate. One usually goes through years of intense introspection and questiioning their religious upbringing and wondering why and how this happened to them. I know the thought police will probally pay me a visit for this response, But as the late great Howard Cossell said. " I am just telling it , like it is" I have heard and done much research on the few who have said they were instantly changed, usually when they are questioned in private, the conversation quicky ends and the trail goes dead. But I hold no animosity against those, because I know where they are coming from. But to sum, what most are feeling. They feel a great isolation and abandonment, They would probally choose to live life according to the hand they have been dealt, if it was not for the constant reminder that Hell awaits them. I often hear the word repent "to feel regret, remorse, contrition" But for what? The feelings that a Homosexual feels are not " abitrarily chosen" they cannot be turned on and off like a water faucet. So what? If one is to "Turn" they usually need an alternative to turn to. One can say, "I repent" But in their heart they know that there natural inclination is to the same sex. Yes they can choose celibation. This of course deals with the purely Physical aspect of who "One " Is. But it does not address the need to be validated as a human and to feel Love, or to share ones life with another human, or to have a family. So this is a forum to address a reakl issue. How about some real responses, instead of the usual empty cliches. I am sure every Homosexual has heard the brain dead cliche " Not Adam and Steve, But Adam and Eve" Oh how "Not " clever. How about for once, not mentioning that Gays are going to Hell. Ever think that, they might be experiencing that allready? Ok, I am now ready to be arrested

 

[Daakota]

Thanks everyone for all of your help. Over the past few days I have been researching the Bible about this, and I have been spending a lot of time in reflection with God as well as doing things to help me cope with the idea. I am still quite confused on what to do, but I think what I am basically going to do is go with the flow if it happens it happens if not then it doesn't. I just hope for the best. All your words have been comforting and helping me to think about the whole situation and I thank you for that. God Bless.