Not sure what to believe anymore

[catlover]

Thank you all for your replies.

I'm feeling better about the whole thing today. I think the reason I felt so bad yesterday was because I bought the God Delusion. I felt this intense guilt, not because I thought God would be angry with me, but because I was afraid that my parents would be. I know how strong my parent's beliefs are, so I don't want to upset them, or make them angry, but at the same time I want to be able to make my own decisions as an adult.

Part of the reason for buying the book was to prove to myself that I could make my own decisions, and to help break the indoctrination that taught me to belief questioning the validity of Christianity was wrong, and that doubt was the "Devil" tempting you, etc.

Whatever I do, whether it be remaining a Christian or deconverting, I want to do it because I made the decision, not because I want to please my parents.

Also, I wonder if part of the problem is with my church's beliefs, rather than Christianity as a whole.

Yes-I was in a Pentecostal Church for three years. They are lovely, sweet, people, though I disagree with most of their beliefs about hell heaven etc.

But the devil he will tempt you- they said a lot of that.

I have to find a new church probably UMC or Episcopal.

 

[catlover]

I was raised in a fundementalist, Pentecostal, Christian household. I believed in a literal Genesis (creationism, Noah's Ark, etc) until around my late teens, when I began to learn more about science.

I accepted evolution, etc and my beliefs in a literal Genesis fell away. However, it hasn't just stopped there, my beliefs in things like Satan, hell, etc have also gradually fallen away. Now I'm left wondering what I truely believe, whether I believe in Christianity at all anymore.

When I'm sitting in church listening to the sermon, a lot of things that the pastor says, that I used to believe, just seem plan ridiculous to me now.

I'm afraid this gradual process will eventually lead to atheism, which means giving up what I have believed for so many years, and having to face likely disappointment from my family (and possibly hostility).

Tbh, I felt fine about this whole process when it seemed to be happening naturally, it alsmost felt like I was an outside observer just wanting the process happen, rather than having an actualy role in it. But this past week or so I've been actively seeking out information atheism, I even bought The God Delusion, and I've been feeling physically sick and depressed about the whole thing.

Well that's all have to say, I just wanted to talk about this with Christians, who I know will be supportive, and who won't start blaming Satan for causing my doubt.

Do not be afraid to question your beliefs.

 

[desmalia]

Your going to hell for that thought-you know.

Oh no!!!!!!
(hey, where's the required giant pointing finger??)

 

[ReformedChapin]

Oh no!!!!!!
(hey, where's the required giant pointing finger??)

You were going to hell for posting here in the first place.

 

[catlover]

Oh no!!!!!!
(hey, where's the required giant pointing finger??)

I need to learn how to post images here again.

 

[desmalia]

You were going to hell for posting here in the first place.

Yep, and I'm taking YOU with me! Mwahaha!

 

[Moriah_Conquering_Wind]

Hey, wait for Moriah! *sliiiiiiiiiiiide*

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

(laughing at the "going to hell" posts)

Seriously, I don't think belief can be genuine until it is questioned. I find it appalling when people *don't* question, just accept what they've been told because the preacher or their mother said it. This is nothing but immaturity on their parts. "I know it's true, because Mommy told me." In fact, I even have issues with "Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so." Jesus loves me, this I know, for I know Jesus and have experienced His love.

 

[Moriah_Conquering_Wind]

(laughing at the "going to hell" posts)

Seriously, I don't think belief can be genuine until it is questioned. I find it appalling when people *don't* question, just accept what they've been told because the preacher or their mother said it. This is nothing but immaturity on their parts. "I know it's true, because Mommy told me."

Oh wow exactly... Moriah cringes when it sees people who have been Christians for over two decades and have not outgrown the hyper-reactionary "newly come out of the world" postures and defenses and black/white us/them childish thinking it began to see severe flaws with after only having been in the faith for a year. It would be mockable bes it not so tragic. Surely God must have had so much more in store for them but due to fear or bad programming or who knows what, they walled themselves in, cemented themselves down, and refused to move forward, probably secretly scared out of their wits that if they even sneezed in the wrong direction they'd make of themselves a portal and all the hordes of hell and every last deception in the devil's dirty book of deceits would pour in, overwhelm and drown them.

Pity. Fear of deception has done more untold damage in the 'body of Christ' (church) at large than deception ever could even imagine doing itself.

 

[Gukkor]

There are two sorts of moral immaturity, one that sees the world in black and white, and one that sees the world in grey. The morally mature aren't so presumptuous as to look at the world, but tackle the issues as they encounter them, on a personal, case-by-case level

 

[Moriah_Conquering_Wind]

One thing for certain: we only know the stages we have passed through ourselves!! We have NO CLUE how many lie ahead. There could be a bajillion more.

 

[Gukkor]

One thing for certain: we only know the stages we have passed through ourselves!! We have NO CLUE how many lie ahead. There could be a bajillion more.

Indeed! The journey never ends!

 

[threedog]

God is speaking to you...listen


threedog

 

[BABYCUBY]

Listen I Know The Feeling, I Din't Realize That Guys Like Bishop Spong Nd Marcuse Borg And Brian Mcclaren Existed. Once You Mature And Realize The Bible Is To Be Taken Seriously But Not Literally, Then Your Faith Will Grow And You Will Experience God And Understand Who Christ Is In Your Life. I Would Start With Sprong 1st!

 

[Rajni]

I was raised in a fundementalist, Pentecostal, Christian household. I believed in a literal Genesis (creationism, Noah's Ark, etc) until around my late teens, when I began to learn more about science.

I accepted evolution, etc and my beliefs in a literal Genesis fell away. However, it hasn't just stopped there, my beliefs in things like Satan, hell, etc have also gradually fallen away. Now I'm left wondering what I truely believe, whether I believe in Christianity at all anymore.

When I'm sitting in church listening to the sermon, a lot of things that the pastor says, that I used to believe, just seem plan ridiculous to me now.

I'm afraid this gradual process will eventually lead to atheism, which means giving up what I have believed for so many years, and having to face likely disappointment from my family (and possibly hostility).

Tbh, I felt fine about this whole process when it seemed to be happening naturally, it alsmost felt like I was an outside observer just wanting the process happen, rather than having an actualy role in it. But this past week or so I've been actively seeking out information atheism, I even bought The God Delusion, and I've been feeling physically sick and depressed about the whole thing.

Well that's all have to say, I just wanted to talk about this with Christians, who I know will be supportive, and who won't start blaming Satan for causing my doubt.

As a Christian who has undergone several "paradigm shifts" over a relatively short period of time, some of which could easily have led me to just chuck Christianity out the window altogether, my suggestion is to just ride this wave and not panic. The spiritual journey is never static; we are always learning, growing, experiencing shifts in our perspective on things. One thing I find reassuring is that no single perspective on God is necessarily the Last Word on who He is. In other words, no specific expression of Christianity is superior to any other expression of it, and I have even learned some useful things from belief systems outside of Christianity -- things that didn't pose any threat to my belief in Jesus.

I think it also helps to know that God won't let you slip through His fingers. Having that foundation of security in Christ, which doesn't change just because our thinking does, transforms the journey from frightening to fascinating.




.

 

[daydreamergurl15]

I have a question for you:
While you were gradually changing your beliefs, how often did you study the bible and pray?

 

[Izdaari Eristikon]

I have a question for you:
While you were gradually changing your beliefs, how often did you study the bible and pray?

Speaking just for myself (of course):

I'd say reading, conversations (including online, both here and on other forums), prayer and bible study have all been important factors in my beliefs shifting. I also give credit to my pastor's sermons, as he is both wise and learned, and an outstanding teacher.

 

[daydreamergurl15]

Edit...

 

[lawtonfogle]

I was raised in a fundementalist, Pentecostal, Christian household. I believed in a literal Genesis (creationism, Noah's Ark, etc) until around my late teens, when I began to learn more about science.

I accepted evolution, etc and my beliefs in a literal Genesis fell away. However, it hasn't just stopped there, my beliefs in things like Satan, hell, etc have also gradually fallen away. Now I'm left wondering what I truely believe, whether I believe in Christianity at all anymore.

When I'm sitting in church listening to the sermon, a lot of things that the pastor says, that I used to believe, just seem plan ridiculous to me now.

I'm afraid this gradual process will eventually lead to atheism, which means giving up what I have believed for so many years, and having to face likely disappointment from my family (and possibly hostility).

Tbh, I felt fine about this whole process when it seemed to be happening naturally, it alsmost felt like I was an outside observer just wanting the process happen, rather than having an actualy role in it. But this past week or so I've been actively seeking out information atheism, I even bought The God Delusion, and I've been feeling physically sick and depressed about the whole thing.

Well that's all have to say, I just wanted to talk about this with Christians, who I know will be supportive, and who won't start blaming Satan for causing my doubt.

Actually, I am pretty sure that it leads to agnosticism or weak atheism if you stay reasonable (a 5-6.999... on Dawkins' scale), and only results in strong atheist (the 7) if you actually hold allot of resentment.

The key here is that in faith, your answer is found. I was brought up for so long thinking (and being lied to) that science proved God. When I realized that all the arguments are fallacious, it almost caught me, then I realized something. Jesus Himself speaks of faith for those who have not seen. The issue is that we have to assume God, take His existence as an axiom.

Then comes the problem of keeping the entire system of our knowledge consistent. Thinks like creationism can be kept consistent, but it takes a really well placed argument, which results in the idea that even if we were created, we have to work, and science has to accept, evolution and a big bang (or alternative theory if ever the big bang theory is cashed in for a better one).

Anyways, I have meant to read The God Delusion.


And remember, there are two keys. Have faith. And make sure that faith does not hurt another.

 

[lawtonfogle]

I was raised in a mix of Fundamentalist/Pentecostal/Charismatic myself... over 20 yrs... so I can certainly relate to that aspect.

I went through a time period of deep skepticism/doubt... Actually I went evil for a few years. And it was through that evil that I became re-convinced of the supernatural world. But that path led nowhere good.

So, now, I'm at a place of trying to be reconciled with the faith of my youth. So that's where I am at.

But we all have different spiritual journeys... and given mine, I'm sure as heck not gonna be judgmental of anyone elses. Whatever path your journey may take you on... my prayers are with you.

I have never gone evil, but I have borderedlined 'the abyss' (a break down to the full acceptance of only logic, which results in full solipsistic disorder, among all the other 'problems' it would cause). Never fell in, but I am now borderline solipsistic, especially late at night.