Not really sure what to do with my life right now.

[HoundFate]

A friend has, I suppose minimized the role in my life and well.. We dated right? Too complex to get into the details here about all that. I realize that, yeah it was a mistake. But I know now what I need to do right when I do want a relationship.


That's, not my main concern here though. My main concern is just friendships. Outside of hers it never felt, none of my friendships felt deep. Or to the point where I could trust many people with as much as I had her. Man does that hurt. And just trusting people in general previously was difficult. I am not certain how to trust. Nor speak to others due to fears of feeling I'm bothering them. So I would never reach out, and yeah I never felt close. Because of me I never felt close to the friends I have. I want a friend group. It's hard to find the right people for this though.


Almost thought of giving up on friendship. I know that such an idea would be bad. I suppose forming a new friend group wouldn't hurt but how? Where, who.. I don't know.


Knowing me I might overwork myself with the projects I'm doing. Never giving myself a chance to slow down. Whether that's due to the pain and trying to numb it, or me not giving a care I don't know which. I don't, really know what to be doing. I need to balance things. Social life, projects, everything. Yet I don't know how.
I need to fix my sleep schedule. It's out of whack. I did this, mostly for the purpose of removing my pain. I believe it can numb myself so I just, stay up.


I can't recall all of where I wanted to go with this. All I know is that, I need a friend. Life without those or feeling such connection feels rough and useless. Like sure I have friends but it doesn't feel deep.

 

[trophy33]

You can find friends in a workplace, school, church... simply anywhere you meet other people.

Or, another strategy is to find friends according to your hobbies/interests.

 

[trophy33]

Basically, friendship grows naturally from doing things together.

If you join for example some MMA gym, its almost impossible not to make friends, after all these activities together.

 

[Maria Billingsley]

A friend has, I suppose minimized the role in my life and well.. We dated right? Too complex to get into the details here about all that. I realize that, yeah it was a mistake. But I know now what I need to do right when I do want a relationship.


That's, not my main concern here though. My main concern is just friendships. Outside of hers it never felt, none of my friendships felt deep. Or to the point where I could trust many people with as much as I had her. Man does that hurt. And just trusting people in general previously was difficult. I am not certain how to trust. Nor speak to others due to fears of feeling I'm bothering them. So I would never reach out, and yeah I never felt close. Because of me I never felt close to the friends I have. I want a friend group. It's hard to find the right people for this though.


Almost thought of giving up on friendship. I know that such an idea would be bad. I suppose forming a new friend group wouldn't hurt but how? Where, who.. I don't know.


Knowing me I might overwork myself with the projects I'm doing. Never giving myself a chance to slow down. Whether that's due to the pain and trying to numb it, or me not giving a care I don't know which. I don't, really know what to be doing. I need to balance things. Social life, projects, everything. Yet I don't know how.
I need to fix my sleep schedule. It's out of whack. I did this, mostly for the purpose of removing my pain. I believe it can numb myself so I just, stay up.


I can't recall all of where I wanted to go with this. All I know is that, I need a friend. Life without those or feeling such connection feels rough and useless. Like sure I have friends but it doesn't feel deep.

Welcome to CF! I don't have much advice on friendships. I only have one bestie! I tried others but as you have also experienced, they seemed shallow. So what happened to your female friend? Maybe reconcile? Be blessed.

 

[Unqualified]

Maybe marry her? If you want a friend, be a friend.

what about your relationship with God? Deepen it, tell him everything. Seek his forgiveness.

 

[HoundFate]

You can find friends in a workplace, school, church... simply anywhere you meet other people.

Or, another strategy is to find friends according to your hobbies/interests.

I appreciate the thoughts. I suppose I should go over each detail here.

School, difficult due to the fact that it's very small, no one there interesting to me. If it were a normal place, that would be different.

Workplace, I don't have one. But later, once I leave school and have time I may so that's a thought.

Church, yeah I'mma be joining some stuff real soon here actually. I still don't know if my social anxiety will act up or not. I'll still give it a try though that much is certain.

When it comes to hobbies, eh I feel like sure maybe but also I don't find them all that important to connect to a person. Besides if you just stay within your hobbies you won't learn too much of the world around you and I therefore find that method a tad bit flawed.

 

[trophy33]

I appreciate the thoughts. I suppose I should go over each detail here.

School, difficult due to the fact that it's very small, no one there interesting to me. If it were a normal place, that would be different.

Workplace, I don't have one. But later, once I leave school and have time I may so that's a thought.

Church, yeah I'mma be joining some stuff real soon here actually. I still don't know if my social anxiety will act up or not. I'll still give it a try though that much is certain.

When it comes to hobbies, eh I feel like sure maybe but also I don't find them all that important to connect to a person. Besides if you just stay within your hobbies you won't learn too much of the world around you and I therefore find that method a tad bit flawed.

Physical hobbies are ideal for social anxiety, because you do not need to talk during them. And some sports are done 1 on 1 or in small groups.

 

[HoundFate]

Maybe marry her? If you want a friend, be a friend.

what about your relationship with God? Deepen it, tell him everything. Seek his forgiveness.

Marry her what? I suppose I forgot to mention the breaking up thing.

Friendships are everything. All man are to seek a friend. If you think such is rather abnormal, well let's go back to the beginning and also just, a few the beginning and also just, a few other things.

the body of the church I do desire friendships and it's not that I can't be one friendship I've had quite a few. As you can see within the verses all act like a body and indeed need each other. I know that I need relations within the church of Christ. Just has taken a bit to get into that as we were searching for the right church to be in. As differing beliefs made such difficult.

 

[HoundFate]

Physical hobbies are ideal for social anxiety, because you do not need to talk during them. And some sports are done 1 on 1 or in small groups.

Honestly, I'd prefer to talk rather then not. If I don't how am I to face the fear outright? When I talk more I become more comfortable. If I don't I'll just stay inside my shell within the reason that I don't need spoken to. That and I don't really like sports. I have noticed in some situations such as VRChat of all games had helped to some extent. Even made me comfortable texting friends after which mind you is a difficult concept for me. Really need to figure out why it's being, weird. Different concept in general I suppose. Anyways idk I'll figure something out in terms of friendships no doubt.

 

[Unqualified]

How long have you been alone? Sounds like you have heart break city is where you are at. I was alone for 8 1/2 years after my last break up before God led me to church regularly. And interaction and Bible reading and doing, and friends in the Lord and life and eventually my wife. But life is about the Lord. Without him there is no life, just sin and death and shame. ……….

 

[HoundFate]

Depends on what we consider alone I suppose. Like, sure I may have a few folks around me but no good Christian friends completely. That's happened for quite a bit I feel like. In terms of the minimized role of such an individual it was 39 days.


There is one I do have is online and even they have some of their own issues. I can't say I've attended church in the sense of going outside of Sundays, always have yet I don't know why it's so difficult to connect those days. I suppose some of that could be social anxiety.

I much prefer Bible Study, rather. Gives more insight into people's minds a little more. In which I'm hoping I can go soon. Just people have been sick making such difficult. In time I plan on doing that as well as something else I suppose. To challenge myself to stay inside God's will and desire just a bit more.

 

[Unqualified]

Depends on what we consider alone I suppose. Like, sure I may have a few folks around me but no good Christian friends completely. That's happened for quite a bit I feel like. In terms of the minimized role of such an individual it was 39 days.


There is one I do have is online and even they have some of their own issues. I can't say I've attended church in the sense of going outside of Sundays, always have yet I don't know why it's so difficult to connect those days. I suppose some of that could be social anxiety.

I much prefer Bible Study, rather. Gives more insight into people's minds a little more. In which I'm hoping I can go soon. Just people have been sick making such difficult. In time I plan on doing that as well as something else I suppose. To challenge myself to stay inside God's will and desire just a bit more.

it partly is a will power thing, but God can help you. Nobody expects you to have it all together right away. It takes time. God understands. But if you want Him on your side you need to acknowledge any and all sins to him. He can clean you up, forgive you, lessen the guilt and you can start again to be like Jesus. Isn’t He nice to us boys of his.

 

[HoundFate]

it partly is a will power thing, but God can help you. Nobody expects you to have it all together right away. It takes time. God understands. But if you want Him on your side you need to acknowledge any and all sins to him. He can clean you up, forgive you, lessen the guilt and you can start again to be like Jesus. Isn’t He nice to us boys of his.

Idk why this is, somewhat comforting. I always feel the desire to be perfect yet I know that's realistically impossible. I shouldn't have to feel that way and certainly God knows I'm not and sent Jesus. I'm more comfortable with a perfect God knowing that then imperfect beings who may judge. Even then I do, yeah I idk what I was gonna say. Prayed today, planning to and also planning to read alot more then I had previously as I know it's what is good for me. Still looking for a place to organize my notes is the first order of business. Anyways yes he's, certainly kind. Much different then one would expect rather.

 

[Unqualified]

God put the desire to be better in us. He wants us to be holy like Him, not perfect. Jesus was the only perfect human. I’m just trying to be a friend and comfort and strengthen. But you have to. Build your house or building to God when the foundation is right. Just trying to help a little or more if you want. Good night!

 

[HoundFate]

God put the desire to be better in us. He wants us to be holy like Him, not perfect. Jesus was the only perfect human. I’m just trying to be a friend and comfort and strengthen. But you have to. Build your house or building to God when the foundation is right. Just trying to help a little or more if you want. Good night!

Fully agreed. Doing my best to stay in such a foundation of rock, not sand. I forget what verse that was honestly. Thanks I genuinely appreciate it. Would love more assistance but, I suppose it's up to what all you're willing to do y'know? Anyways night I probably should also be sleeping so pretty good timing if you are yourself sleeping xD

 

[Unqualified]

You are right about getting into a Bible study. Going to church is also a learning experience. It should teach you the way and encourage you to walk in it and help you do so. That’s a pastors job or one who disciples you. Going to church is a discipline to do for your own benefit. It will help keep you out of sin. It can be a vehicle for forgiveness, and make you one mean fighting machine in the spirit with peace in your heart. If you sin you will have to pay the consequences on the earth.

I was in too many relationships when younger without the thought of getting married, but indulging my flesh. I kept hurting others and being hurt. Finally I got so hurt I left the church, maybe God did it. For eight and a half years by myself trying to get it together. I found out when God called me back that I just needed to obey him. When I was committed to that he blessed me. I’m not rich and I’m getting older but He is taking care of us.

There is repentance and God restores us, refreshes us and entropy does not drag us down for many years. It’s a good life, humbling ourselves is hard. Working is hard. But pulling your own weight is good. God is good. The joy of the Lord is our strength, which is needed in this life. The church should help to equip you to live a holy life.

David committed murder and adultery and should have died according to Jewish law. But he admitted his sin to God and Nathan the prophet and God forgave him. And it ushered in a new era of repentance for sin when Jesus and John the Baptist said: Repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand!”

 

[HoundFate]

You are right about getting into a Bible study. Going to church is also a learning experience. It should teach you the way and encourage you to walk in it and help you do so. That’s a pastors job or one who disciples you. Going to church is a discipline to do for your own benefit. It will help keep you out of sin. It can be a vehicle for forgiveness, and make you one mean fighting machine in the spirit with peace in your heart. If you sin you will have to pay the consequences on the earth.

I was in too many relationships when younger without the thought of getting married, but indulging my flesh. I kept hurting others and being hurt. Finally I got so hurt I left the church, maybe God did it. For eight and a half years by myself trying to get it together. I found out when God called me back that I just needed to obey him. When I was committed to that he blessed me. I’m not rich and I’m getting older but He is taking care of us.

There is repentance and God restores us, refreshes us and entropy does not drag us down for many years. It’s a good life, humbling ourselves is hard. Working is hard. But pulling your own weight is good. God is good. The joy of the Lord is our strength, which is needed in this life. The church should help to equip you to live a holy life.

David committed murder and adultery and should have died according to Jewish law. But he admitted his sin to God and Nathan the prophet and God forgave him. And it ushered in a new era of repentance for sin when Jesus and John the Baptist said: Repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand!”

Precisely why I want to go, encourages me to think more biblically. The one way I've been able to atleast, do that for myself to an extent is going on Reddit on some Christian ones. But yeah, I dunno hopefully it'll discipline or guide me to the right path.

Only ones I ever were in was like 3? Even now, I now know what I want for a relationship. Before I had absolutely no clue. Same religion atleast that part is certainly on my mind. As for, just the story kinda, glad you're back. It's truly a lovely conversation and who knows if we'd be having this discussion.

When I do, really study the word it does feel calming. So I know that in general, discipline is key. I personally, am going to get closer to God and the church. So little reason for me not to honestly.

So so curious what chapter or book this is in I think I'd enjoy reading it.

 

[Unqualified]

Precisely why I want to go, encourages me to think more biblically. The one way I've been able to atleast, do that for myself to an extent is going on Reddit on some Christian ones. But yeah, I dunno hopefully it'll discipline or guide me to the right path.

Only ones I ever were in was like 3? Even now, I now know what I want for a relationship. Before I had absolutely no clue. Same religion atleast that part is certainly on my mind. As for, just the story kinda, glad you're back. It's truly a lovely conversation and who knows if we'd be having this discussion.

When I do, really study the word it does feel calming. So I know that in general, discipline is key. I personally, am going to get closer to God and the church. So little reason for me not to honestly.

So so curious what chapter or book this is in I think I'd enjoy reading it.

yes more biblically. And yes forming opinions of the truth and sound doctrine when done with love is very edifying for both you and the hearer. Sound doctrine- people won’t hear it too much. It’s very necessary to know the truth of the Bible - where we can all agree. Keep the tangents to yourself, I think. Everybody going their own way and not agreeing with elders, history, or how to be saved. Strong leadership is needed and the truth being preached, then it gels into a sound mind and becomes a regenerated man or woman.

Relatioships on you mind, because the Word gives hope, now you know! But let me caution you, have it Gods way. Honor him in its forming if you want it to last a lifetime. She doesn’t have to be the most perfectly beautiful to keep your interest. She has to be godly Any woman worth having will be willing to wait for marriage. So no fornication while you make yourselves the best you can be. Anybody can do it and call it love, but you want to bond spiritually and every other way to know if you are really compatible. Not perfect, but have love and respect and be friends. Friendship is a really close bond.

But foolin’ around with sin will separate you from the love of Christ. You mind won’t go up to God together to the high place where yo have the fruits of the spirit and honesty, love, character, strength. Galatians 6. Give you something to think about.

 

[HoundFate]

yes more biblically. And yes forming opinions of the truth and sound doctrine when done with love is very edifying for both you and the hearer. Sound doctrine- people won’t hear it too much. It’s very necessary to know the truth of the Bible - where we can all agree. Keep the tangents to yourself, I think. Everybody going their own way and not agreeing with elders, history, or how to be saved. Strong leadership is needed and the truth being preached, then it gels into a sound mind and becomes a regenerated man or woman.

Relatioships on you mind, because the Word gives hope, now you know! But let me caution you, have it Gods way. Honor him in its forming if you want it to last a lifetime. She doesn’t have to be the most perfectly beautiful to keep your interest. She has to be godly Any woman worth having will be willing to wait for marriage. So no fornication while you make yourselves the best you can be. Anybody can do it and call it love, but you want to bond spiritually and every other way to know if you are really compatible. Not perfect, but have love and respect and be friends. Friendship is a really close bond.

But foolin’ around with sin will separate you from the love of Christ. You mind won’t go up to God together to the high place where yo have the fruits of the spirit and honesty, love, character, strength. Galatians 6. Give you something to think about.

Sound and truth, yeah it's quite abnormal just how little such happens. I shall within time seek the truth and definitely inform others.

I fully agree waiting for marriage is heavily important with that sort of thing and never have desired such outside of it as God commands against it. Hope, friendship all very valuable and things I can find through the word or good guidance to find such.

I'll certainly, actually I may just read Galatians 6 after sending this response as it might be of heavy value. No, not might but will.

 

[Unqualified]

You learn fast. I think you ready.