Normal Sexuality

[Johnnz]

What is Normal Sexuality



Unless we have an understanding of what normal sexuality is like we can assume problems with “lust” and "sexual sin" all too easily. This can lead to unnecessary confusion and guilt. A post is inadequate for a book sized topic, but here are a few thoughts I hope they will be helpful to readers.



The physical side of puberty and adolescent development is obvious. Associated with the hormonally initiated physical changes there are the inner changes that also occur. We become aware of the opposite sex in a new way. We have sexual feelings. Guys can identify them very easily as erections. Girls vary more. Some have clearly identifiable sensations, others less so. None of this is abnormal or unhealthy.



These new feelings initiate various sexual and social behaviours. Some young people want to begin dating. Attractiveness is an issue for both sexes. Guys have an active interest in female nakedness, which causes many to wrestle with this issue for much of their single life, and sometimes beyond. The constant eroticism in today’s society keeps this interest at a troublesome level for many. Girls are affected by this too, and many find themselves looking at guys and wondering.



Early in the teenage years there can be some same sex activity, such as exposure, kissing, or more intimate touching. This does not imply any homosexual tendencies. Normal social and sexual development consigns such early behaviours to the memory bin.



It is around this normal development of our sexual drives that teenagers must build up their understanding and values. We must never be at war with a fundamental part of ourselves. We need to discriminate between the genuinely wrong, the unhealthy, the useless, and build up a solid foundation of sound information and values around them. It is negative and frequently discouraging to define our sexuality in terms of what we shouldn’t do rather than what is normal and healthy.



Sexual issues that young people face are many. Committed Christians desire to honour God. The less committed look for the irreducible minimum of Christian commitment. Some discover masturbation, which may or may not lead to a difficult struggle for some time. Others discover an abundance of photographic material on the internet. Others begin to date, and sexual issues invariably arise. There is an extended period of singleness to face today. This is an issue that past generations did not have.



It is not easy for modern teenagers. At the very least they should have a healthy view of what sexuality is all about. It is against that standard that the wrong and deviant can be assessed.

 

[feral]

I think it is impossible to define "normal" sexuality outside of the individual standard. Coming up with a universally accepted standard of normal sexuality is going to be all but impossible, because so many factors come into play when determining what "normal" is. One's religion, values, experiences, upbringing, location, friends, age, personality, sexual preference, etc all play a role in determining what is normal and abnormal. In order to come up with any sort of standard, you would need to assume that 1. everyone is either the same sexual orientation or considers all sexual preferences normal 2. everyone shares similiar values and morals 3. everyone has the same level of sexual experience and has dabbled in all the same things and 4. everyone can agree on specific sex actions that are "abnormal" or wrong. And I don't think that is possible.

There are too many values and ideas to come up with one normal standard. You mentioned experimentation with same sex interaction - maybe kissing someone of the same sex, maybe something more involved. In some people's eyes, such dabbling is completely normal. In others, it is wicked and immoral and most definitely abnormal. Still others consider it normal only if the person grows up to be exclusively gay or bisexual. Masturbation was also mentioned. Some people think it's positive, healthy even. Some are grossed out by it, or even consider it dangerous and disgusting. You cannot hope to get concensus on whether it's "normal" or not. I happen to think that having frequent partners and "hook ups" is abnormal and disrespectful to the self, but most of my friends think I'm absolutely abnormal for not sleeping with people I meet at clubs. You see? It's too hard to define a normal standard. I suppose you can come up with a general loose consensus on some things - many people think beastiality is wrong, for example. But that hardly ever impacts teens, and isn't the area where most of them are tripped up.

Out of curiousity, what is your - or anyone's - standard of normal sexuality?

 

[Johnnz]

I think it is impossible to define "normal" sexuality outside of the individual standard. Coming up with a universally accepted standard of normal sexuality is going to be all but impossible, because so many factors come into play when determining what "normal" is.

You are right. Perhaps I did not express myself clearly enough. In the first paragraphs is tried to give recognition to our underlying biological drive and its associated feelings. I see them as being very general across the population, irrespective of religious, social and cultural background.

The later paragraphs are where people place values related to their sexuality. Here, there are very many differences.

I wanted to identify the basic biological components which I consider as 'normal'. Without this understanding it is too easy for many Christians in particular to begin to feel guily about every sexual feeling. I don't see that has being healthy.

Thanks for your comments.

John
NZ

 

[an7222]

Regarding human sexuality, there's a simple rule:

It's always immoral, unless its consented and harms nobody.

 

[Buzz Dixon]

Regarding human sexuality, there's a simple rule:

It's always immoral, unless its consented and harms nobody.

This includes indirect non-physical harm to third parties, correct?

 

[an7222]

This includes indirect non-physical harm to third parties, correct?

Yes. If a third party made a "contract" with you not to get sexualy involved with others, you must respect this, otherwise you'll be doing (non-physycal) harm to that third party.

 

[wpiman]

If it is not done in a way that is open to life- then it is immoral.

 

[Norea]

Open to life? Huh? Course I'm a bi transgendered girl myself and I don't want babies. LOL!

-- Bridget

 

[Randall McNally]

This includes indirect non-physical harm to third parties, correct?

Yeah. Could you possibly load that statement any more?

 

[Caylin]

Open to life? Huh? Course I'm a bi transgendered girl myself and I don't want babies. LOL!

-- Bridget

Yeah what about us TS people? Are we immoral?

 

[Randall McNally]

If it is not done in a way that is open to life- then it is immoral.

Does that mean a woman who's had a hysterectomy shouldn't be allowed to have sex anymore?

 

[qsus]

What is Normal Sexuality



Unless we have an understanding of what normal sexuality is like we can assume problems with “lust” and "sexual sin" all too easily. This can lead to unnecessary confusion and guilt. A post is inadequate for a book sized topic, but here are a few thoughts I hope they will be helpful to readers.



The physical side of puberty and adolescent development is obvious. Associated with the hormonally initiated physical changes there are the inner changes that also occur. We become aware of the opposite sex in a new way. We have sexual feelings. Guys can identify them very easily as erections. Girls vary more. Some have clearly identifiable sensations, others less so. None of this is abnormal or unhealthy.



These new feelings initiate various sexual and social behaviours. Some young people want to begin dating. Attractiveness is an issue for both sexes. Guys have an active interest in female nakedness, which causes many to wrestle with this issue for much of their single life, and sometimes beyond. The constant eroticism in today’s society keeps this interest at a troublesome level for many. Girls are affected by this too, and many find themselves looking at guys and wondering.



Early in the teenage years there can be some same sex activity, such as exposure, kissing, or more intimate touching. This does not imply any homosexual tendencies. Normal social and sexual development consigns such early behaviours to the memory bin.



It is around this normal development of our sexual drives that teenagers must build up their understanding and values. We must never be at war with a fundamental part of ourselves. We need to discriminate between the genuinely wrong, the unhealthy, the useless, and build up a solid foundation of sound information and values around them. It is negative and frequently discouraging to define our sexuality in terms of what we shouldn’t do rather than what is normal and healthy.



Sexual issues that young people face are many. Committed Christians desire to honour God. The less committed look for the irreducible minimum of Christian commitment. Some discover masturbation, which may or may not lead to a difficult struggle for some time. Others discover an abundance of photographic material on the internet. Others begin to date, and sexual issues invariably arise. There is an extended period of singleness to face today. This is an issue that past generations did not have.



It is not easy for modern teenagers. At the very least they should have a healthy view of what sexuality is all about. It is against that standard that the wrong and deviant can be assessed.

Your a closet case arent you. I bet you love to watch gay porn on your own and shove a dirty big [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] up your ass. You probably sneak out at night and go suck [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] in public toilets. On your knees in **** just so you can fill out your desires. You dirty ****er.

 

[plmarquette]

Careful , lest your " curiosity " and desire for " more " , trap you as fly paper ...
and you be given over to that you experiment with ...

Rom 1:26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:

Gal 5:24 And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.