Non existence

[Swissmon87]

Hello fellow sisters and brothers,

I need your help, because i think im attacked from the enemy... Since years i struggle with my existence... Many many times i wished to simply be non existent... Or i wished, God never created me For many years i was very depressed. Its weird, because i actually came to the conclusion, that its the best thing to be in Gods presence forever and enjoy his peace, joy, beauty and so on... And being with God is surely even better, than non existence.... If i would be non existent, i wouldnt suffer, or be in pain and so on. But i wouldnt experience any joy or pleasure either ...its just so exhausting.... Again and again, im torn between those 2 options (if i could choose between non existence, or being in Gods presence) Maybe i need some anti depressants again. Didnt take them in 6 years. None of my Christian friends understands what i mean my wife neither. Maybe it sounds weird, but thats how i feel.
Its really strange... And i really think, that the enemy wants to destroy me or lies to me about Gods goodness ... Maybe, someone can relate to my experience. Thanks for your replies

 

[K Watt]

Hello fellow sisters and brothers,

I need your help, because i think im attacked from the enemy... Since years i struggle with my existence... Many many times i wished to simply be non existent... Or i wished, God never created me For many years i was very depressed. Its weird, because i actually came to the conclusion, that its the best thing to be in Gods presence forever and enjoy his peace, joy, beauty and so on... And being with God is surely even better, than non existence.... If i would be non existent, i wouldnt suffer, or be in pain and so on. But i wouldnt experience any joy or pleasure either ...its just so exhausting.... Again and again, im torn between those 2 options (if i could choose between non existence, or being in Gods presence) Maybe i need some anti depressants again. Didnt take them in 6 years. None of my Christian friends understands what i mean my wife neither. Maybe it sounds weird, but thats how i feel.
Its really strange... And i really think, that the enemy wants to destroy me or lies to me about Gods goodness ... Maybe, someone can relate to my experience. Thanks for your replies

I recommend that you follow Pascal's wager. Assume that your life is eternal and live a life that leads to being in God's presence.

 

[Unqualified]

The flesh lusts against the spirit and the spirit against the flesh’, but it doesn’t help you being in indecision and on the fence. Are you looking for the best deal or least work to maintain or most rewarding? First of all you can never be nonexistent with the way God made us. We have eternal souls, we will always exist. But God wants to give you life more abundantly, through faith in Him. Not to feel good but because you know it’s right. You will have joy. Do you have a Bible? Read. It. Go to church get good teaching about the whole Bible. Pray for help to decide to go Gods way. There is much encouragement in the Bible for the believer. Believe Jesus. He loves you. Go everything Jesus.

it might be hard in Germany and Catholics are rebelling against their leaders. Is there a Calvary chapel nearby?
Accept the gospel as a little child. Jesus only can help your dilemma. You want Him let the other go.

 

[eleos1954]

Hello fellow sisters and brothers,

I need your help, because i think im attacked from the enemy... Since years i struggle with my existence... Many many times i wished to simply be non existent... Or i wished, God never created me For many years i was very depressed. Its weird, because i actually came to the conclusion, that its the best thing to be in Gods presence forever and enjoy his peace, joy, beauty and so on... And being with God is surely even better, than non existence.... If i would be non existent, i wouldnt suffer, or be in pain and so on. But i wouldnt experience any joy or pleasure either ...its just so exhausting.... Again and again, im torn between those 2 options (if i could choose between non existence, or being in Gods presence) Maybe i need some anti depressants again. Didnt take them in 6 years. None of my Christian friends understands what i mean my wife neither. Maybe it sounds weird, but thats how i feel.
Its really strange... And i really think, that the enemy wants to destroy me or lies to me about Gods goodness ... Maybe, someone can relate to my experience. Thanks for your replies

Each of us are unique .... there will never be anyone exactly like you (or me) .... each of us are precious in His eyes.

We all struggle .... and are told we will struggle .... satan is constantly/relentlessly attacking (and deceiving) the children of God .... however God is always with us to help us endure these struggles and to help us overcome sin. We do trust in Him no matter what .... no matter what perils we may face or how difficult it may be.

John 16:33​

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

Yes .... we are in constant struggle .... yet never give up.