Hi anoraky,
One thing you really have to get clear is that being a Christian doesn't automatically make you a good person. And not all non-Christians are bad people either. Christianity is about believing in God and accepting Jesus as your Lord and Saviour.
However, Christians, just like everyone else, have traits which people would say could qualify them as a "bad" person. Christianity is about acknowledging and asking forgiveness for our sins, mistakes and imperfections. We strive to be perfect like Jesus, but no-one is. It is our love for God that we strive to be perfect like his son, which requires us to change our attitudes, our habits etc. Like I said, to be "good" and perfect like Jesus is our goal, but it's a high standard, and God knew that we would fall into the trap of sin, but he still wants to live with us in eternity anyway.
You are not "bad" because you are struggling with putting faith in Jesus. Jesus does not think you are bad, no way! He laments for you because you are one of his lost sheep, he wants so much for you to get back into the fold. He will rejoice when you come to him and welcome him into your life.
If you tell your friends about your situation, wouldn't that be such a great load to take off your chest? Because your friends are Christians I would like to think they would be happy that you told them so that they can help you, talk to you about it. Your friends shouldn't judge you, they should be one of the first people you turn to for help - what are friends for???
Ideally, the first person you should turn to is God himself. Open up to him, and ask him to reveal himself to you. I know what it's like to feel like to have Christian friends and feel like I'm the odd one out - like I'm not as good as them - because I haven't found my niche in the church I'm with, or I'm not as active as them.
Never should you feel that way, no-one is morally superior to you. We have all sinned, we have all fallen short of the mark. Jesus is the one who bridges the gap between us and God.
May God bless you and open your eyes to his love for you...