I am a happily married father of 3. I am honest, smart, successful and have a great life. But something is missing.
(1) I feel that I am an atheist because the supernatural seems irrational.
(2) But I think I am agnostic because I know that I do not know everything.
(3) I have been drawn to try to know God for about 20 years now.
(A) I tried to feel/understand faith threw knowledge but knowledge does not seem to create faith.
(B) I tried to feel/understand faith threw theory but theory for me instructs the mind and has no influence over what I feel to be true.
I realized 15 years ago that I am in a tiny minority that has no belief in a higher power. This has been the most confusing part of my life because I am so normal. So far I have gathered that faith is not knowledge or disposition. People who grow up as atheists can develop faith. The faithful can lose faith. No amount of education can give or take away faith. Faith is not a product of a certain environment or any other type of experience. This is evident by the demographics of the faithful and non-faithful. The rich, poor, happy, unhappy, disturbed, sane, sick, healthy, stagnated, thriving, good, bad, old, young, educated, ignorant, etc. do and do not have faith. Some make it their life's work to discover faith and some effortlessly have faith for as far back as they can remember and these two types of people can grow up in identical house holds. Faith comes from within and how this happens must be impossible to understand. I think the only person who can answer this is someone who has honestly been a non believer and then a believer.
I know only what I have learned in my position as a non believer. What I need is the view of someone who was in my position but is now a believer.
Please non-believer to believer converts,,,,,, what happened? What for you clicked? What changed? How did you develop faith?

(1) I feel that I am an atheist because the supernatural seems irrational.
(2) But I think I am agnostic because I know that I do not know everything.
(3) I have been drawn to try to know God for about 20 years now.
(A) I tried to feel/understand faith threw knowledge but knowledge does not seem to create faith.
(B) I tried to feel/understand faith threw theory but theory for me instructs the mind and has no influence over what I feel to be true.
I realized 15 years ago that I am in a tiny minority that has no belief in a higher power. This has been the most confusing part of my life because I am so normal. So far I have gathered that faith is not knowledge or disposition. People who grow up as atheists can develop faith. The faithful can lose faith. No amount of education can give or take away faith. Faith is not a product of a certain environment or any other type of experience. This is evident by the demographics of the faithful and non-faithful. The rich, poor, happy, unhappy, disturbed, sane, sick, healthy, stagnated, thriving, good, bad, old, young, educated, ignorant, etc. do and do not have faith. Some make it their life's work to discover faith and some effortlessly have faith for as far back as they can remember and these two types of people can grow up in identical house holds. Faith comes from within and how this happens must be impossible to understand. I think the only person who can answer this is someone who has honestly been a non believer and then a believer.
I know only what I have learned in my position as a non believer. What I need is the view of someone who was in my position but is now a believer.
Please non-believer to believer converts,,,,,, what happened? What for you clicked? What changed? How did you develop faith?
