No Title

[halfaman]

Hey I feel your pain sister, I lost my whole meaning to life this past month, my wife of almost six years died suddenly while she slept. We had so much planned, have three wonderful kids who are my sole reason to go on. I felt as if my whole world had crashed and burned. But as the days pass, my life gets better a little each day, but my grief remains the same. I was surfing the web when I came upon this site. Strange because I have not been to church in a long time, it was as if I was guided to this site. With each post, each message and meeting new people I find my strength returning to me. I hope and pray that your stength will return and you will carry on, because I know you can. Peace, Love and Blessings to you

 

[Shannonkish]

November.
The holiday season.
The beginning of the end, all over again.

The Downward spiral started, for me at least, on November 23, 2004--- it hasn't ended yet.. the spiral is still downward... sometimes, however, it get caught up somewhere.

Too close to December 16. I hate the holidays... I don't want to celebrate Thanksgiving.. the last holiday with mom... I don't want to celebrate Christmas-- the first holiday wthout my mom.

Life sucks!

 

[Shannonkish]

The season I used to love... I now hate and despise.

I used to love Thanksgiving and Christmas.... family would come from all over to celebrate and reunite....

Now, it just brings painful reminders of the fact that I have to live the rest of my life without my mom.

 

[traingosorry]

When mums are gone it seems like this world is not right.
Sometimes it can take your breath away if you think about it too much.

I don't know what to say Shannonkish, just as people are often without words to give to me. But that's ok, I prefer it that way.

Just know that I understand, it's the worst feeling... and I expect to feel just like you do this Christmas... I am not looking forward to it.

Do you write about her in a blog or anywhere where you can keep her memory alive for the world to see?

 

[* kittie *]

hmm...I remember when my dad died. Didn't really grieve til several months later (except the initial shock/grief), cause I used to be the type to pretend like everything was okay.
I think it was 9 months later...when I started grieving. Had no one to talk to either, cause the rest of my family had moved on...and I was living in the dorms with roommates too busy with themselves.

It became hard right when the weather started getting cooler (I still remember that first day, and what I was doing), cause it rememinded me of the holidays. It was even worse when something would happen which would trigger a memory. I'd hide every picture cause it would only make things worse. I also blamed myself (and so did fellow Christians...about how I couldn't "get over it")...the whole nine yards.

I will say it will get easier.
The first few holidays will probably be tough...it would probably be healtheir to just accept that it will be, and surround yourself with other friends/family that can offer you some support. Whatever is better for you. I'm guessing you probably don't want those memories now...so maybe do something else that can make the holidays special. I dunno...just making up some suggestions.
The holidays don't always have to be tough though...

Yet hmm...I understand that right now, seems like it will never end. But it will...just have hope in that. Sorry, don't want to continue rambling so much. hmm...I hope things will be easier for you soon though.

 

[Pentecostal Boy]

God Bless U!

 

[9T6]

So dark is the real darkness.

Not all the time, but jumps out unexpectedly.

Just when I think I’m maybe doing OK.

Like a punishment for thinking today was a little easier to bear.

There is no light at the end because there is no tunnel,

just a black hole, eating, feeding on my loneliness.

Blackness. And in between a neutral grey as day follows day.



So fidgety is my restless soul.

Not all the time, only when I try to rest.

Just when I think I’m maybe doing OK.

Like a torture for trying to find peace in my mind.

There is no sabbath because there is no rest,

just a nagging voice crying why, why, why?

Restless. And all around the world just keeps rolling by.



So far is the distance between us.

Not all the time, only when your memory overwhelms me.

Just when I think I’m maybe doing OK.

Like fishhooks in my heart for not letting you go.

There is no meeting place because we are in separate worlds,

just the lonely echo of a heart with no home.

Distance. And in between an endless void for my tears.



So faintly comes the call of God.

Not all the time, but when the pain is worst.

Just when I think I’m maybe not doing so well at all.

Like a giant hand wrapped softly around my broken soul.

There is no resistance because there is nothing else left,

just a lonely soul trying to find a way home.

God’s calling. And my heart cries: “I hear you”



And then there was peace.