Were you ever a Christian? Well that's a tricky question, because, being a Christian is not a "One time deal", it's a continual thing, each day, each hour, each moment of your life, you make a choice.
Jesus speaks of this clearly. In the parable of the seeds being sowed. Some will hear the words and reject, others will accept, grow, and then die,and yet others will grow and multiply. Matthew 13:18-23
So, your just a seed that feel to rocky soil, you shot up, and died. It's as simple as that. (Sorry for being harsh)
See, a Seed digs it roots, the soil does not dig the roots for the seed, nor does the planter dig the seeds roots, the seed itself digs it's own roots, we as humans are no different, we must dig our own roots, seeking our continual growth, feeding ourselves. Sometimes, it's not easy. But then again , nothing worth truly having is ever easy to obtain.
So were you ever a Christian, well, that my friend is for you to answer.
Allow me to humor you with my own story, at this one: I hated church, I had not gone to church, until I was around 10 years old, and that was because my Mom wanted me to go, I have to say I hated every moment of it, it was like school, only now I had to deal with it on Sunday. It was everything I could despise, an extra day of "Class" where I had religion shoved upon me, and was taught how much a sinner I was, how I was so "Faulty", well, even at 10, I knew I had my own problems, I did not need anyone telling me I had any extra stuff wrong with me, like this sin trash. So, by the time I was 15, and could convince my mom to let me do my own thing, I stopped this whole Church nonsense. I did not fit in at school, and I did not fit in at church. The building may have changed, the people did not, it was the same bunk, now with a "Jesus Twist" and lets not forget the whole "I'm more holy then you" attitude that dripped from the walls of this place like poison, and that was all I knew, or needed to know. It was enough for me to realize I wanted nothing to do with this mess, or the people involved in it.
Anyway, fast forward the next 10 years. I tried to become a Christian again (Imagine that), because someone touched me, showed me a different Jesus, but, I still saw the same followers. The same judgment, the same hyperbole I did the first time, and it was a very short matter of time before I walked away in disgust.
I embraced it all, I read it all, everything from the Necronomicon, to the Koran. Every little black story and black spot on the Christian History. I dove deep into Wicca, and embraced Buddhism. I meditated seeking the balance of Taoism, You name it, I pretty much either knew about it, or tried it up close and personal. In the end, it was all the same, the same people, the same bunk, the same issues. Sure, some seemed a little more friendly then others, but it was all the same trash, given enough time, it all came down to the same things. I'm more in tune to the spirits, I'm more peaceful, I have found enlightenment, I can make my spells work, blah blah, blah. it was all the same.. and boiled down to "I'm better then you".. that was all it ever was to me.. people with ego's and way to much bloody pride.
And the Christian Church still reeked as haven for these "Things" that I could not bring myself to not hate, on every level.
Then, one day, I met, for lack of a better word, an angel, Oh MAN.. she ticked me off at every chance, every way, in every fashion. If it could have been done wrong, she did it wrong. I could not help myself to not hate her way of screwing things up. How is that an angel you ask? Well, simply put, she knew she had issues, she knew she made mistakes, and was not above admitting it, and more then that, she accepted me for my mistakes, as I was, how I am, with all my faults and drawbacks. She showed me, exactly what Jesus was like, and that word is "Accepting", so it took me a great many tries to find Christ, and a great many failures. And in a world where everyone else seems to be fakers, and just putting on a show, but passing judgment on you behind your back, or comparing themselves to you, and finding fault, putting you down to try and make themselves seem so much better, I found that Jesus did not do this.
Which I opened the Bible again, the only difference this time was, I was looking for Jesus, I was not seeking to become a "Christian".
So yah, I warm a pew at the local church, and I know it's a cool show, but nothing more then that, I am not going to set the roots of my faith in a building, because it's just a building with some people in it. When I stopped trying to find Christ in a Church, I finally found him, hidden where he had always been, right in the Bible, just waiting for me, to finally look. So, maybe you were a Christian, or maybe you were just looking to find Christ in a church. Who really knows.
As for me, all it really means is that you may have some grasp of scripture, and maybe an idea what the inside of a church looks like, the same feeling I have had about "Christians" since the day I met them. Unless you could prove to me otherwise.
Does this make me Judgmental? a little, more skeptical really I have seen and endured too much, to just assume that there is such a thing as a "Christian", it's really about the individual, not the group as a whole.
Does this in any manner demote you in my eyes? No, not in any sense. Believe what you will, my door shall remain open to you, if it is not a discussion of religion, then let us talk of sports, or some such.
Your still unique person, your not a thing with a religion tag on their forehead.
Maybe, we as a whole, need to see that, not only in ourselves, but in everyone, regardless of belief, or world view.
God Bless
Key
