No Porn or Masturbation for a Month! (2)

[Forealzchola]

keep going strong brother

 

[BreadAlone]

darn! I bump to a site full of porn ads... it's so wrong... I felt so tempted it was so hard to sleep that night, at least I made it through...

GOD I'M A SINNER!! I'M CHAINED TO THE DESIRE OF LUST!! FORGIVE FATHER!! JESUS FORGIVE ME!! I'm SORRY!!

ah... I felt better...

1 week 5 days!! wohoo!!

Dude! I kept scrolling down the thread, holding my breath each time hoping you made it through temptation to the next day..and you have!! Like the words of Jesus say "Your faith has made you well..go and sin no more!" You seem to be on the right track!

This may give you encouragement..it does to me (The words of St. Peter in the fifth chapter of his first epistle):

"Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because,
"God opposes the proud
but gives grace to the humble." Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen."

 

[leftBrainer]

Dude! I kept scrolling down the thread, holding my breath each time hoping you made it through temptation to the next day..and you have!! Like the words of Jesus say "Your faith has made you well..go and sin no more!" You seem to be on the right track!

This may give you encouragement..it does to me (The words of St. Peter in the fifth chapter of his first epistle):

"Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because,
"God opposes the proud
but gives grace to the humble." Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen."

indeed I have! I still feel the triumphant victory today!

the verse you gave was familiar... "The devil cometh as a roaring lion..." Yes... still wonder what does it mean...

2 weeks! It's an achievement so wonderful, my praise to God! How my soul feels the freedom You gave!

WOOOHOOO!!

 

[leftBrainer]

Wow... lately things were so tough for me. I'm finding it hard to sleep, my eyes just couldn't rest! there was worry, there was doubt of the things to come. The trails ahead, the battle upon... how much longer shall I bear?

I turned and twist in my bed, restless night, restless night. At last, it felt like I could not bear no more, I lay face down, hands folded, and prayed, heart screaming to God,

"O LORD! O LORD! This journey is hard! Life feels so daunting! Why can't I feel you? I feel the weight of the Lord upon me! I can't sleep! I'm so tempted!..."

bla bla bla I continued on like that for like 15 minutes.. and strangely, I felt some peace in me, I just went to sleep BAM just like that. I just felt like Jesus said, "My dear Hayner, I will never leave you nor forsake you... you have meant more than life to me..." he is with me, he is with me, he is with me... he always has...

Dawn the next day I look to the sky and saw the birds in the sky, in search of breakfast. and this verse just naturally pops in me:

Mat 6:26 Look at the birds: they do not plant seeds, gather a harvest and put it in barns; yet your Father in heaven takes care of them! Aren't you worth much more than birds?
Mat 6:27 Can any of you add a single hour to your span of life by worrying?

 

[leftBrainer]

O yea... I almost forgot...

2 weeks 1 day!

 

[leftBrainer]

O I almost again forgot...

thanks

 

[BreadAlone]

Keep up the good fight, bro!!

 

[leftBrainer]

Keep up the good fight, bro!!

WOW I'm so happy I'm getting so much support! before I just felt so lonely.

To be honest, almost everyday was not beared alone. I said this words from the bottom of my heart, "If not for a mentor that guides me, if not for support from CF, if not knowing that JESUS was watching over me, NOT A SINGLE DAY would have been possible. How I praise the Lord for His wonderful works! His power so amazing I am not worthy to behold!"

"Dear Lord! let the secrets of my heart be uncovered, and let my wandering thoughts be tested: And see if there be any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting. "

>>Psalms 139:23-24<<



The struggle for purity continues on! 2 weeks 2 days without the icky sicky habit!(masturbation)

 

[leftBrainer]

GLORIOUS LORD! I passed another day, with every temptation I overcome my faith becomes stronger, O Lord may my heart remain vigilant lest the devil shall seek to challenge me again! 2 weeks 3 days! I always dreamed to have made it this far!

2Ti 2:21 Those who make themselves clean from all those evil(unclean, pervert, lustful) things, will be used for special purposes(In ASV, as "A vessel of HONOUR"), because they are dedicated and useful to their Master, ready to be used for every good deed.

 

[leftBrainer]

hey, I wanna show everyone this guy's testimony, it really tells me something:

Course Member Paul writes:
My lust pulled me deeper and deeper into more risqué and perverted activities. After awhile the women were not as exciting as before and I found myself drifting into homosexual activity. This was something that would have repulsed me before I became caught in the cycle of more and more.

wow... that's really freaky. I use to think homosexuality and lust for women are 2 different things... I WAS WRONG! THEY'RE LINKED!! O.O yikes!

2 weeks 4 days! I'm so happy for everyone's support. My struggle has decreased greatly since I first started, and I'm living a more happier and pure and joyful and God loving life. I'm so thankful everyone, I hope to repay everyone's kindness(*tears* )

2Pe 1:4 And through this he has given us the hope of great rewards highly to be valued; so that by them we might have our part in God's being, and be made free from the destruction which is in the world through the desires of the flesh. (BBE)


free from destruction indeed! Grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with you all!

 

[leftBrainer]

well... now things are getting a bit risky... it's like those porn images suddenly flash back in my mind while I was on my daily routine! MAN! I can't escape that! and it wasn't easy be4 I remove those images from my head.

I think I'm not the only one facing this right? it's been the root of my failure for so so long. I hope it won't pull me down again.

"FATHER FATHER I BEG OF THEE,
Mat 6:13 Do not bring us to hard testing, but keep us safe from the Evil One.' (GNB)"

pretty please Lord? don't lead me to temptation? though... I do know that He'll provide a way...(1 cor 10:13)

 

[leftBrainer]

Today in purity challenge they thought me about RADICAL AMPUTATION. probably one of the best lessons! I really wish I could copy paste the entire thing! man!

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." (Hebrews 12:1)

in (Mark 9:43-47) , Jesus use very strong words in radical amputation: 'cut it off' and 'PLUCK it off'

very meaningful lesson... cause I actually felt like going to see some anime girls online cause like, "O com'on, it's no big deal..." after reading it I became sober and think...

2 weeks 5 days.

"It's a happier life in purity" - LeftBrainer

 

[Andres88]

Great to hear that you are fighting that hard, brother. Please pray for me. I just have 4 days, and it already seems as if Satan were attacking me with all his fierce and might. But Jesus is with me. If only I trust Him, I am sure that He will deliver me.

 

[leftBrainer]

Great to hear that you are fighting that hard, brother. Please pray for me. I just have 4 days, and it already seems as if Satan were attacking me with all his fierce and might. But Jesus is with me. If only I trust Him, I am sure that He will deliver me.

dear LivingWorshipper,

My God, how my heart filled with tears to see your pain. there was once when you seem to have been so close to finding your freedom.

I pray that by the grace of God you will not give up, and if you carry the weight of the world, know that you can lean on Jesus, for He says, "
Mat 11:30 For the yoke I will give you is easy, and the load I will put on you is light."


Grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with you Worshipper.

 

[leftBrainer]

well... now things are getting a bit risky... it's like those porn images suddenly flash back in my mind while I was on my daily routine! MAN! I can't escape that! and it wasn't easy be4 I remove those images from my head.

I think I'm not the only one facing this right? it's been the root of my failure for so so long. I hope it won't pull me down again.

"FATHER FATHER I BEG OF THEE,
Mat 6:13 Do not bring us to hard testing, but keep us safe from the Evil One.' (GNB)"

pretty please Lord? don't lead me to temptation? though... I do know that He'll provide a way...(1 cor 10:13)

HEY GUESS WHAT! My mentor from the purity challenge gave me what I was looking for

Dear Hayner,

I just prayed for you about your temptations. It&#8217;s pretty annoying when the things we&#8217;ve actively given up pop back up in our minds. I think some of that happens because our minds are a muscle&#8230;and they have muscle memory. If you get aroused spontaneously it can oftentimes trigger the mind to recall what happened in a prior instance. That would be an old image or habit. But by not giving into that old habit, like a muscle, that memory will atrophy due to misuse. The worst thing to do is to touch based on an old image or behavior because that will reestablish its prominence in your mind-muscle. An [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] is a powerful mind altering behavior because of the intense pleasure associated with it. It&#8217;s pretty basic, isn&#8217;t it? This plus this leads to this and it feels great. So it becomes learned.

Now when you are tempted you are learning other things instead, such as seeking the Lord through prayer and scripture memorization. When you get tempted you can also praise God for having already set up for you your future wife with whom you will have a glorious physical relationship, enjoying because of God&#8217;s beautiful creation, a way to love another person in ways reserved only for one. Just like God is one, so will your physical sexual love be for only one woman.

Another note&#8230;it&#8217;s not your faith that sustains you in times of temptation, it&#8217;s our living Lord who does that. It&#8217;s your faith and trust in Him that does that. Perhaps that&#8217;s what you meant, but I did want to make it more clear. Sometimes it might be a subtle trap to think that it&#8217;s our faith that does it rather than the Lord, and I&#8217;m equating faith with one&#8217;s will. See the subtle difference?

yea... I guess there are going to be many flash backs ahead of me in times to come... and yea... I see the 'subtle difference' it reminds me of a verse in Genesis I've read some time ago erm...

think God like said to the jews, "Remember these words that are written, for in time you may say to your selves, 'is this not OUR effort that we live in prosperity?'"

anyways, the next lesson is as important as the previous one: RADICAL COMSUMPTION. replacing what was amputated off with prayer and God's word. something like that.

3 weeks

HALLELUJAH!!! Thanks for everyone's support

a happier life in purity,
Hayner

 

[leftBrainer]

I was sooooooooooo tired. just felt so drain of my strength. temptations are stirring in my head, whispering whispering whispering... and there I lay on my bed, trying to fight those thoughts, those images, those memories back... then...

ARGH!! I can't control myself! I masturbated!! NOOOO!! WHY? WHY? I just couldn't control myself! it's satan's fault! He's the one trying to hack my nerves off!

O LORD O LORD! How am I to start again? I've gone so far and now I faded back to the shade of guilt, shame and darkness! how can a man bear such a weight upon his shoulders? Father, will you ever even forgive me again? My hopes are lost, they were as fragile as the darling buds of May, the rough wind blows and their beauty are broken, broken!

How am I to even THINK of posting in christian forums? I felt so condemned! the weight of my shame burdens me! why do I even THINK of telling anyone anymore?

O LORD, O LORD! I cannot even bear the gaze of Thy watering eyes, the hurt was so great, it cuts to my heart. I might never even dare to look to the eys around me, I am not worthy; I have lost all honour and glory.

Where is the way O Lord? Why can't I see it? Why have my victory been consealed? Why have You even let me walk these paths?

My glory lost, my honour broken, my hope shattered. I cannot bear another day anymore... I... give... up...

then BAM! I woke up. I, woke, up.

"stupid wet dreams..."

I sigh and settle my heart down. WHAT was I thinking? for a moment I have lost all hope, and turn away from CF, all the people I have trusted, ...and even God. WORST, I was nearly doing poetry !! I just hate to feel that way again, it was so so so hurtful, and the pain is just horrible; the uglyness of sin... I guess I know how LivingWorshipper felt for 5 minutes. sigh...

THANK YOU JESUS, not my faith that have sustain me this far, but thy everlasting grace! You are a beaming Light of Glory for me! HALLELUJAH!

Dear LORD,
Psa 109:21 my Sovereign LORD, help me as you have promised, and rescue me because of the goodness of your love.

and thus, another day passes with a smile... 3 weeks 1 day.

a happier life in purity, LeftBrainer(Hayner)

 

[leftBrainer]

man haven't posted in a while

posts in SWS always take some time before they're approved. Anyways, here's my update: I'm going smoothly now, ON FIRE FULL OF PASSION for God, I have become stronger through every trail.

but still, the curse still lives. there were some nights were I was tempted, I have to wake, crying to God to lead me out of my nightmare, stay with me through the valley of darkness I walk... and God says

"...For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. " (Jer 29:11-14)

I'm really touched. I will move on despite what is surrounding me. I ask for everyone's continual prayer, this 3 weeks 4 days of mine has been no one man show, through friends, through the Spirit, through Jesus I have lived a happy life. that... I believe will lead to a happier marriage in the years to come

 

[leftBrainer]

4 weeks! Hallelujah! This is VERY CLOSE to the goal of 30 days! O by the grace of God! It for all for Him! It was all for Him!

A lot of times when I continue the purity challenge(www.settingcaptivesfree.com/purity_force) I felt this thought coming in, 'O man, why didn't I know of this course earlier? I would have been a much happier person.'

My mentor only gave a similar story, guess I wasn't the only one.... But God is our redeemer! He is Jehovah Rafa! He restores what was broken and what was lost! He then gave me this wonderful verse:

Joe 2:25 I will give back to you the years which were food for the locust, the plant-worm, the field-fly, and the worm, my great army which I sent among you.


The path of purity is worth every struggle. How marvelous is the Glory of the Lord!

 

[Andres88]

Keep on with the good fight, bro. You can do it!

 

[leftBrainer]

AS I approach the 30th day(the final day for this challenge in this thread) I came to think about alot of things that happend in the past... ever wondering, ever thinking, ever pondering...

Just thinking... of the past, of what I was before and what I could have become... the life that I lived before: So full of shame, so full of guilt I couldn't even face a man's eyes. I don't know what I would be if I were to continue life living like that, I might become a gay, or worse, ended up raping an innocent person. Life was so controlled by lust, it was so horrible. I regretted a lot.

and then, I came to realise something: I'M FREE. Those temptations don't harm me as bad as they did before, I have triumph upon them! Thanks to my gracious God! For behold! He has bought me out of the horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet on a rock, and gave sureness to my steps(psalms 40:2)

29th day, awaiting the 30th... may the Lord be pleased