No one gets it

[texannurse]

I'm sorry to vent guys, but I just feel so alone right now. You all have therapists you trust and are able to be open with, but mine will absolutely kill me if I tell him. I can't handle losing him right now. It probably sounds really dependent or something, but I have been with him 5 years and I can't just throw it all away. I feel like he is my link to sanity and I'd honestly rather just not tell or lie than tell him the truth at this point. AND, to complicate matters I see the psychiatrist for the 1st time on Tuesday (10/31) and now I'm scared that I can't tell him because he'll tell the therapist but I'm afraid to not tell. I'm so lost, so confused - I have no where to turn to.

 

[mahalia]

aww tn... keep strong dear and don't be afraid to vent, you may and many will listen!!

i must be quite honest... can't you find another therapist? i don't wanna sound harsh, but... he doesn't sound all that good for you... i'm probably wrong, please tell me though. the thing with therapy is you're not supposed to feel that you have to keep things away from them???

i do try to understand...

keep strong, always, beloved

 

[mamalonglegs]

I'm sorry to vent guys, but I just feel so alone right now. You all have therapists you trust and are able to be open with, but mine will absolutely kill me if I tell him. I can't handle losing him right now. It probably sounds really dependent or something, but I have been with him 5 years and I can't just throw it all away. I feel like he is my link to sanity and I'd honestly rather just not tell or lie than tell him the truth at this point. AND, to complicate matters I see the psychiatrist for the 1st time on Tuesday (10/31) and now I'm scared that I can't tell him because he'll tell the therapist but I'm afraid to not tell. I'm so lost, so confused - I have no where to turn to.

Hi tex: It sounds like you have yourself in quite a bind. I know it is difficult to loose a therapist. I lost one of mine that I had been seeing for six years. It was her that became very ill and had to quit working. It was sad that she was so sick but also sad that I would never see her again. However, You I think you should take a reality check. Look at what your needs are and begin to think about what the best is to have them met in order for you to become healthier. You have to be your own advocate sometimes. And at times that means some tough decisions. I'm not telling to leave your therapist. Just asking to consider what would be in YOUR BEST INTEREST when it comes to YOUR HEALTH. Caring about you and praying for you!!
mamalonglegs Ephesians 6:18

 

[Quiddler]

Tn. Is it for sure that if you tell your counselor that you've cut again that you'll lose him?

It's hard for me to say what I would do in a similar situation. I know that lying isn't right and I would try to avoid that at all costs - perhaps don't tell - unless he asks - but let him know that you've been struggling and have had a rough week, or something along those lines. Unless it's certain that if you say that he'll ask you if you cut. Then you're kind of stuck either way.

But I do know that once you lie to your therapist, things get sticky. Either you get addicted to lying and do it all the time, if you're good enough for the lies to go undetected. Or he'll be able to tell that you're lying and he won't trust you anymore.

Ignoring the fact that you've cut isn't going to make it go away. Your counselor should understand that we all fall. And then we get back up again. And keep moving forward. Falling is part of recovery. I read in the "how long has it been since you self-injured" thread that you made it 8 and a half weeks. That is SUCH an feat of strength. He should realise what a huge thing that is for you. Have you gotten rid of what you used? or at least (if it's a household utensil) put it somewhere out of sight and hopefully out of mind?

Praying for you, sweetie, that you'll do what you know is the right thing. I'm sorry I can't be more helpful.

 

[texannurse]

THanks for the encouragement. I don't know what to do. He has said "you can't cut again. Never." THen one time i said that I really wanted to do it and he was like "you don't want to test me on this one" I KNOW he cares and wants the BEST for me. I TRUST him more than anything. I just don't know what to do.

Please keep praying for me.TN

 

[Taylor43]

I know you want to keep him and you feel safe with. But how wold being honest breake up the relationship. You need to be as honest as you can be with seeing the pdoc. I know it can be hard. But being honest can help you and be yourself

Has your therapist told you he needs to let you go if self harm? happens?
Love
Taylor

 

[mahalia]

i'll pray for you - hope things will get better.

 

[Soulwings]

Praying, beautiful.

 

[mamalonglegs]

THanks for the encouragement. I don't know what to do. He has said "you can't cut again. Never." THen one time i said that I really wanted to do it and he was like "you don't want to test me on this one" I KNOW he cares and wants the BEST for me. I TRUST him more than anything. I just don't know what to do.

Please keep praying for me.TN

Well Tex: I can see why you're so frustrated. I'm praying for you to do the right thing. Seek out from the Lord yourself what He wants you to do. I always go to Him first when in need. James 1:5 offers us the wisdom of God. Read the chapter for context and pray for His help and guidance. If you truly trust in Him, He will show you the way. God loves far more than any of us can. The love of His people also should warm your heart and give confidence in yourself and supply direction for the decisions you need to make. Much Prayer going Up From mamalonglegs on your behalf Ephesians 6:18

 

[Im-revived]

Best place to vent Love:-

All im going to say Love, is its the truth that sets you free, Im unsure why your therapist has said this to you, but its 100% important you tell your psychiatrist.

God Bless

Im-revived

I'm sorry to vent guys, but I just feel so alone right now. You all have therapists you trust and are able to be open with, but mine will absolutely kill me if I tell him. I can't handle losing him right now. It probably sounds really dependent or something, but I have been with him 5 years and I can't just throw it all away. I feel like he is my link to sanity and I'd honestly rather just not tell or lie than tell him the truth at this point. AND, to complicate matters I see the psychiatrist for the 1st time on Tuesday (10/31) and now I'm scared that I can't tell him because he'll tell the therapist but I'm afraid to not tell. I'm so lost, so confused - I have no where to turn to.

 

[texannurse]

I know you want to keep him and you feel safe with. But how wold being honest breake up the relationship. You need to be as honest as you can be with seeing the pdoc. I know it can be hard. But being honest can help you and be yourself

Has your therapist told you he needs to let you go if self harm? happens?
Love
Taylor

no, not in those very words, but words clear enough to make me realize he is serious about me not doing it again.