Next door question

[timewerx]

If you're trying to get friendly with a next-door neighbor you're trying to get a date someday, is it possible they're only being nice to you because things can get awkard if they are not nice (being next door neighbor situation)??

The situation being clearly communicated by the guy he wants a romantic relation, eventually.

If the woman is completely uninterested in the guy, what are the chances she would pretend to like him?? Or reject him??

 

[ilovejcsog]

I doubt it.

 

[timewerx]

I doubt it.

I asked two different, questions. Which one do you doubt?

 

[timewerx]

I have another question.

If the guy is not very likeable, what are his chances of being rejected in a next door neighbor situation, especially if the parents are friends??

With parents being friends, this further complicates things right??

 

[ilovejcsog]

I doubt both, give it a try. I think if people are really interested they don't care the circumstances. Don't be like me never venturing out and losing out in life. GO FOR IT.
BLESSINGS

(what is that you are holding in front of your mouth?)

 

[GraceBro]

If you're trying to get friendly with a next-door neighbor you're trying to get a date someday, is it possible they're only being nice to you because things can get awkard if they are not nice (being next door neighbor situation)??

The situation being clearly communicated by the guy he wants a romantic relation, eventually.

If the woman is completely uninterested in the guy, what are the chances she would pretend to like him?? Or reject him??

Just ask her out and your questions will be answered. The longer you hesitate, the better chance someone else will come along and make the decision for you by asking her out. If they haven't already.

 

[devin553344]

Yes if things don't work out then it can get awkward. I would venture out and pick someone from a different pool personally. Unless you feel that she's the one for you or something. I dated sisters of two different friends twice and both times it was hate coming my way. One was a neighbor. Not worth dealing with and losing friends over.

 

[com7fy8]

If this is a nice person, I would offer her > trust her > to tell me, nicely, one way or another. Tell her you find her to be a desirable person, and so you expect her to be honest with you, and you would like to spend some time with her . . . on a date, or with parents around.

But if you don't trust her > why would you want to isolate yourself with her, on a date?

Also, she may want time to find out if she trusts you . . . by spending time with you while someone responsible is around. Do you trust her to make a good choice about this? If you trust her, then trust her

But I would not get interested hastily in someone, just because of what she looks like.

 

[timewerx]

I doubt both, give it a try. I think if people are really interested they don't care the circumstances. Don't be like me never venturing out and losing out in life. GO FOR IT.
BLESSINGS

(what is that you are holding in front of your mouth?)

Thanks, lol, that's Multifav's tank drawing for me.

I am interested but she may not and might just be pretending to like me to avoid awkwardness.

I don't really see any sign she is not interested but there's just many things why a woman of her status would or should not be interested in me.

For example, she's got lucrative career, she's ambitious, she's really nice to her parents, etc, etc.

I'm about the opposite of her qualities!

Oh and she knows about everything about me.

 

[timewerx]

Just ask her out and your questions will be answered. The longer you hesitate, the better chance someone else will come along and make the decision for you by asking her out. If they haven't already.

She turned away every guy. Probably her ambition which is a good thing. A very independent woman. Never had BF so far.

I don't fear rejection. I don't have problem of asking her out. My only worry is that she might be pretending to only like me because being neighbor, etc.

Really wish it wasn't that case and wish she really likes me for who I am.

I admit being anxious about it. Because I don't see myself as attractive (in the overall sense) to women. For example, my social skills isn't good, my demeanor can be rough, and I can have a hot temper, anger management issue (but I never hurt anyone). It's like I'm around 5/10 and she's around 9/10

 

[bmjackson]

It's a really bad idea to get romantically involved with a neighbour and even more so a next door neighbour. The chances of any romance working out are not high and the aftermath will be potentially very upsetting. I would personally not risk it when a young person has so many other possibilities meeting others online.

 

[timewerx]

Yes if things don't work out then it can get awkward. I would venture out and pick someone from a different pool personally. Unless you feel that she's the one for you or something. I dated sisters of two different friends twice and both times it was hate coming my way. One was a neighbor. Not worth dealing with and losing friends over.

A useful advice and reality check, thanks.

But I think I'm gonna give it a chance. Perhaps be careful at the beginning?

 

[timewerx]

It's a really bad idea to get romantically involved with a neighbour and even more so a next door neighbour. The chances of any romance working out are not high and the aftermath will be potentially very upsetting. I would personally not risk it when a young person has so many other possibilities meeting others online.

I tried online before. The prospects hasn't been ideal.

To be honest she's the best I came across so far. She meets most of the qualities I'm looking for.

I'm thinking it might be work the risk but of course, anxious at the same time.

 

[timewerx]

If this is a nice person, I would offer her > trust her > to tell me, nicely, one way or another. Tell her you find her to be a desirable person, and so you expect her to be honest with you, and you would like to spend some time with her . . . on a date, or with parents around.

But if you don't trust her > why would you want to isolate yourself with her, on a date?

Also, she may want time to find out if she trusts you . . . by spending time with you while someone responsible is around. Do you trust her to make a good choice about this? If you trust her, then trust her

But I would not get interested hastily in someone, just because of what she looks like.

I have a bit of problem trusting others who seem to like me.

It may sound so pessimistic of me that I don't highly regard myself. I think of myself as only 5/10 mostly from lack of financial stability atm, rough demeanor, and sometimes I'm too serious that I scare people like a terminator robot. I can be light and funny if I want to but I can't be like that all the time.

So if someone seems to like me, I become suspicious they're pretending or just being polite or want to take advantage.

But I think I'll give it a chance, who knows, I'm just paranoid!

 

[bmjackson]

I tried online before. The prospects hasn't been ideal.

To be honest she's the best I came across so far. She meets most of the qualities I'm looking for.

I'm thinking it might be work the risk but of course, anxious at the same time.

OK but because of the risk I would take it REAL SLOWLY!

 

[blackribbon]

The chance is the same as with every other perspective relationship. What you risk is that if she likes you as a friend but not romantically, she might get cold and avoid you afterward. If your parents are friends, can you get your mother to find out if there is any chance this woman might like you from her mother? Normally, I wouldn't go this route but this is a special situation where you two will have to have some sort of interaction afterwards. A lot depends on how your mother would handle asking but it could be a good source of information. Even if you simply ask your mother if she thinks there is any chance the neighbor girl could be interested in you, you might get some valuable information. If you are both of similar age, I can about guarantee your mom and her mom have discussed this at some point....good or bad. You might also get other valuable information about this woman since friends tend to talk about their children, both their wins and their struggles. Go slow and careful.

 

[JAM2b]

If you're trying to get friendly with a next-door neighbor you're trying to get a date someday, is it possible they're only being nice to you because things can get awkard if they are not nice (being next door neighbor situation)??

It is possible because there can be a lot of complexities arise if things become awkward or emotionally charged and volatile.


QUOTE="timewerx, post: 74041077, member: 314730"]
If the woman is completely uninterested in the guy, what are the chances she would pretend to like him?? Or reject him??[/QUOTE]

I think this would depend on her previous experiences with men and also neighbors in general, how much anxiety she has regarding the issue is going to effect her behavior.


I can see people doing this. I've been nice to some people before just because I was afraid of them or what they wanted, but didn't want a conflict. But I also avoided them when possible, and did nothing to lead them on.

People are all different, and they are going to respond differently. Some people wouldn't be afraid of a potentially sticky situation and just be very honest about it while being able to maintain friendly acquaintance. Other's might not be afraid, but could be manipulative just in case they need something from their neighbor. And then there are those who aren't interested, but will be friends with an open mind in case their feelings change.

The only way of knowing is by asking, and making sure the neighbor knows there will be no hard feelings or difficult confrontations if they reject a more personal relationship.

 

[timewerx]

The chance is the same as with every other perspective relationship. What you risk is that if she likes you as a friend but not romantically, she might get cold and avoid you afterward. If your parents are friends, can you get your mother to find out if there is any chance this woman might like you from her mother? Normally, I wouldn't go this route but this is a special situation where you two will have to have some sort of interaction afterwards. A lot depends on how your mother would handle asking but it could be a good source of information. Even if you simply ask your mother if she thinks there is any chance the neighbor girl could be interested in you, you might get some valuable information. If you are both of similar age, I can about guarantee your mom and her mom have discussed this at some point....good or bad. You might also get other valuable information about this woman since friends tend to talk about their children, both their wins and their struggles. Go slow and careful.

She's actually a woman that's very very hard to read and your advice would be useful!

The funny thing is I can ask her mom myself if I get the chance to talk to her. Didn't cross my mind until I read your post!

I'd really take this slow as you and bmjackson adviced. She knows my intentions already. I guess I'll just take my time. The important thing is I figure out if she really likes me soon before things get more complicated.

 

[Sketcher]

It's kinda like a work relationship - if things go bad, she doesn't go away, at very least until the lease runs out. And if she gets a new boyfriend, you get to see him pull up, and hear what they do when they're at her place.

 

[GraceBro]

She turned away every guy. Probably her ambition which is a good thing. A very independent woman. Never had BF so far.

I don't fear rejection. I don't have problem of asking her out. My only worry is that she might be pretending to only like me because being neighbor, etc.

Really wish it wasn't that case and wish she really likes me for who I am.

I admit being anxious about it. Because I don't see myself as attractive (in the overall sense) to women. For example, my social skills isn't good, my demeanor can be rough, and I can have a hot temper, anger management issue (but I never hurt anyone). It's like I'm around 5/10 and she's around 9/10

I understand that. But, it comes down to living in fear and the "unknown" it creates or telling her how you feel and dealing with the aftermath. If she rejects you, move on. You can still be neighborly, but at least the anxiety is replaced with reality. I was shy growing up. I, eventually, made it a point to approach the "pretty girl" and see what was up. Often, she would say she is not interested. Fine, at least I knew and would not miss out on other opportunities while worrying about what one lady might say. Go talk to her, man! Ask her out or something. Going to the internet looking for answers won't help. Time to take some initiative for your life. What if she likes you and is waiting for you to make a move? A woman will only wait so long. Your apprehension will prove to be a turn off for her. Trust me. Women like men to take charge. Next time we talk, I want to hear the result of you taking action, not more reasons why you did not. Be blessed.