newly weds quick question

[maidenoftruth]

We have been married for 26 days and I just want to know is the first year as hard as they say

 

[Svt4Him]

Depends. How's that for an answer. I heard the first year is great because you're still in that honeymoon state. But there are a plethora of issues that can come up.

And congradulations.

 

[Singin4Him]

For us personally our second year was the hardest. Though we did have a hard time during the first with the transition again it wasn't near as hard as the second. Maybe it's because the honeymoon phase worn off, not sure but we really went through a rough time.

 

[peanutbutter12]

This question actually came up on another forum I'm on a couple days ago. I posted this:

I would have to say that the hardest part about the first year for us is that she can't see her friends and family any time she wants. We've been back to California only once in the past year, which sucks because her family are all very close and I know she misses them quite a bit. However it doesn't make much sense to fly back for a weekend and only get to spend 1 day there. When we go back, we usually want to go for 2 weeks or more, but our schedule a lot of the time doesn't permit it. Luckily, there are going to be two weddings there this coming year, so we have plenty of reason to go back for visits.

Other issues that have come up would be, of course, finances. It's quite a shock when your bills suddenly double or more. You find you need to become more responsible with the way you spend money and prioritize your spending.

CJ

 

[£amb]

It can be hard. You have two people coming together. It changes everything. You two are united in your finances, living conditions, the good, the bad and the ugly. This is the time to learn to compensate and meet in the middle. You're not going to agree on everything and in time it smoothes out.

 

[TheDag]

For some the first year is hard for others it is harder later. One thing I have learned is don't rely too much on advice like the first year is the hardest. I often think it is just people trying to scare you.

 

[Cordy]

The first year was not at all hard for us -- it was a truly wonderful time. We had a thread on this a while ago where people stated their hardest year. For some it was first, others fifth, others seventh etc. Difficulties are more related to situations and people than what year in marriage you are.

Are you having a hard time right now? Is there anything we can do to help or encourage you?

 

[Sign Of The Fish Burger]

If it's true that the first year is the hardest, then the rest should be a piece of cake

I didn't find the first year to be hard at all... there were struggles of course but nothing we couldn't get get past fairly easily

 

[MoodyBlue]

My wife and I did not find the first year (first few years actually) hard at all. The struggles came later when children entered into the picture. Congratulations and enjoy it!

 

[lin1235]

The first year was really hard for us, but that was because of a specific issue (my husband suffered from depression). Once that issue was resolved (praise God) it has all been plain sailing, up until now anyway. We've been married for 3 and a half years now. We're very happy!

 

[gracefaith]

The first year was great. I don't know what people are always whining about. I'd live our first year again in a shot.

 

[felinity]

I haven't finished my first year yet, but my first three months have been pretty good. Three months - that's a quarter! Sweet!

We've had some issues, of course, most caused by the fact that my husband is still waiting for his green card, so he's staying home all day and I'm bringing home the bacon. (Figuratively, not literally. I don't like bacon much.) But we're getting by alright on my income and learning to compromise things like household duties, and now that it's getting cooler, it's nice to have someone to snuggle close to, to stay warm.

 

[LynnMcG]

Our first year was great. I think it's like anything in marriage, there are no steadfast rules. Some find it difficult, others don't.

 

[PegasusOnFire]

Our first year would have been great, had it not be for a miscarriage in the first 5 months of marriage, that and the depression I went into when we got pregnant again. But we have been married now for a month shy of 3 years and it has been great, and we have a beautiful 19 month old surprise blessing, and another blessing on the way.

It all depends on your mind set going into the first year, if you want it to be hard it will be, if you want it to be smooth sailing it will be, but you need to cast all your cares on God.

 

[Beth1231]

Financially, the first year was very difficult. I wouldn't redo it simply because I know more about sex now, we can afford heat now and also there is just no way I would redo student teaching.
But overall, the first year can be a truly special time. Everything is new and fresh. I hope you have a wonderful first year

 

[JulySheMustFly]

I didn't find the first year hard at all. We had some stuff thrown at us that we weren't ready for but that didn't have much to do with being newlyweds as much as it did with outside family issues.

 

[Antje]

I've been married for about 10 months, and I sometimes wonder how we'll look back on this year. It's been pretty rough at times because we're figuring out each other's rhythms in terms of sleeping patterns, working patterns, even sexual patterns, and it can be pretty hard to get them to line up. A lot of this year has been pretty frustrating and hurtful. But nothing has ever really threatened our relationship, we're totally committed and we absolutely love each other, and it just takes a lot of hard work to settle into patterns that will serve us well for the rest of our marriage. I'm looking forward to a few years from now when a lot of this newlywed stuff is over.

 

[SweetBella]

YES! YES! YES!

We are currently working on 2 years and although its still tough, it is soooo much better than our first year! The first year was a bunch of adjusting and learning for us!

 

[Asherz]

I've been married for seven months so far and it hasn't been all that hard. We've been blessed financially, and I think if we weren't we would have a had a much more difficult time. We've had a ton of unexpected expenses come up and I know we would have argued a ton if things had been more tight.

I think it's also been a little tougher adjusting on my husband than it has been on me. I went from living with my family to getting married. I'm used to organizing my schedule around others and sometimes foregoing what I want to do for the sake of everyone else. He, on the other hand, grew up in a nonfunctioning family and did whatever he wanted because no one was there to say otherwise. He was also a bachelor for five years before we got married, so being married is a huge change for him.

 

[rainbowpromise]

We have been married for 26 days and I just want to know is the first year as hard as they say

For us it got harder as the kids got past their teens.

First married we had plenty of us time. When the kids were small we could get a sitter, when they were older we didn't need a sitter. Now we can't escape all five of them no matter what we do.
My neighbors had the right idea. They left their adult kids to look after the house and they are living in a motor home in another province. My aunt and her husband did the same. They sold the house to the kids and moved to a remote sport fishing cabin.