- May 4, 2009
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Greetings from Alaska!
I am a pastor in rural AK I have a rare autoimmune disease and have dealt with chronic pain and other issues for almost 8 years. My docs had told me that chronic & progressive diseases often include seasons of depression.
My autoimmune disease is Primary Scelrosing Cholangitis. It affects men mostly (some say only) and is chronic & progressive. PSC is where your immune system thinks bile ducts are the enemy and begins to slowly kill them off. If you ever see the ducts in a dye test, they look like a well leafed tree. Mine look like a dead tree and the ends die back more every year.
The symptoms
Chronic pain: My everyday pain is like the aches and pains from a wicked case of the flu - but they can get a lot worse. The only thing that treats the pain is heavy narcotics
Headaches: They are migraine-like including light sensitivity & nausea, but are technically not migraines & do not respond to migraine meds
Insomnia: When its bad, I get only a few hours a week - but not real sleep - more like being unconscious w/o any benefit of rest
Fatigue: in addition to the fatigue due to insomnia, the disease itself cause bouts of extreme fatigue
Infections: I am prone to deadly infections in my liver - that can go from fine to ER in about 8 hours.
Pruritus - fancy word for itchiness - I have increased bilirubin in my system which makes my skin have a yellow tint and itches like crazy - this is all the time
Liver failure - my liver sometimes just stops working. There is nothing that can restart it medically, I simply have about 72 hours for my body to restart itself or its lethal
Metabolic/Gastrointestinal issues - I'm leaving this blank because I'm a gentleman
Cancer - often develops into pancreatic or bile duct cancer both of which have dim prognoses
Eventual transplant - will be required, but my immune system will attack the new bile ducts almost immediately
Depression - often accompanies the disease after a time and may be semi-sporadic but will eventually require permanent meds
The disease is rather rare and I have not yet met anyone else with it. No medical treatment has proven effective for the overall condition, but SSRI's help with the depression, fatigue, pain, and insomnia.
Additionally, my line of work is high stress which can lead to depression. Unfortunately, many people seem to think clergy are immune to the same emotional pressures that all people can feel.
I now see that depression had been an issue for me for the last year or so, but it came to a head while my family was vacationing in Hawaii. We were there in late Feb and during the time of the tsunami warnings. The following day, our baby started miscarrying. By the next morning, we had lost the baby. My wife then had to have a D&C and I was able to keep everything together until she had begun mending, but shortly thereafter began to notice some trouble. (Good news: we are currently trying to have another child in addition to the 2 we have here and the one that has left the earth before us.)
I talked with her and the church board and the church national organization about my concerns. We all decided that I should seek out a therapist and see a physician. I am now seeing a cognitive therapist regularly, have had physical causes (such as thyroid issues) dismissed after tests, and have begun taking an SSRI. I have only been taking meds for about 4 weeks, but have noticed an improvement.
I get a lot of support from my family, friends, church, and community. I am very fortunate. My therapist suggested that I look for some online forum or group where I could chat with others that deal with depression, etc. I am also borderline OCD and sssri's have good luck treating that as well as serving to lessen chronic pain.
At any rate, I wanted to introduce myself. I just look forward to chatting with other folks that understand the things I am going through.
I am not known for being shy, so I am happy to answer questions etc.
I am a pastor in rural AK I have a rare autoimmune disease and have dealt with chronic pain and other issues for almost 8 years. My docs had told me that chronic & progressive diseases often include seasons of depression.
My autoimmune disease is Primary Scelrosing Cholangitis. It affects men mostly (some say only) and is chronic & progressive. PSC is where your immune system thinks bile ducts are the enemy and begins to slowly kill them off. If you ever see the ducts in a dye test, they look like a well leafed tree. Mine look like a dead tree and the ends die back more every year.
The symptoms
Chronic pain: My everyday pain is like the aches and pains from a wicked case of the flu - but they can get a lot worse. The only thing that treats the pain is heavy narcotics
Headaches: They are migraine-like including light sensitivity & nausea, but are technically not migraines & do not respond to migraine meds
Insomnia: When its bad, I get only a few hours a week - but not real sleep - more like being unconscious w/o any benefit of rest
Fatigue: in addition to the fatigue due to insomnia, the disease itself cause bouts of extreme fatigue
Infections: I am prone to deadly infections in my liver - that can go from fine to ER in about 8 hours.
Pruritus - fancy word for itchiness - I have increased bilirubin in my system which makes my skin have a yellow tint and itches like crazy - this is all the time
Liver failure - my liver sometimes just stops working. There is nothing that can restart it medically, I simply have about 72 hours for my body to restart itself or its lethal
Metabolic/Gastrointestinal issues - I'm leaving this blank because I'm a gentleman
Cancer - often develops into pancreatic or bile duct cancer both of which have dim prognoses
Eventual transplant - will be required, but my immune system will attack the new bile ducts almost immediately
Depression - often accompanies the disease after a time and may be semi-sporadic but will eventually require permanent meds
The disease is rather rare and I have not yet met anyone else with it. No medical treatment has proven effective for the overall condition, but SSRI's help with the depression, fatigue, pain, and insomnia.
Additionally, my line of work is high stress which can lead to depression. Unfortunately, many people seem to think clergy are immune to the same emotional pressures that all people can feel.
I now see that depression had been an issue for me for the last year or so, but it came to a head while my family was vacationing in Hawaii. We were there in late Feb and during the time of the tsunami warnings. The following day, our baby started miscarrying. By the next morning, we had lost the baby. My wife then had to have a D&C and I was able to keep everything together until she had begun mending, but shortly thereafter began to notice some trouble. (Good news: we are currently trying to have another child in addition to the 2 we have here and the one that has left the earth before us.)
I talked with her and the church board and the church national organization about my concerns. We all decided that I should seek out a therapist and see a physician. I am now seeing a cognitive therapist regularly, have had physical causes (such as thyroid issues) dismissed after tests, and have begun taking an SSRI. I have only been taking meds for about 4 weeks, but have noticed an improvement.
I get a lot of support from my family, friends, church, and community. I am very fortunate. My therapist suggested that I look for some online forum or group where I could chat with others that deal with depression, etc. I am also borderline OCD and sssri's have good luck treating that as well as serving to lessen chronic pain.
At any rate, I wanted to introduce myself. I just look forward to chatting with other folks that understand the things I am going through.
I am not known for being shy, so I am happy to answer questions etc.
. i am chronically ill as well. i love to think about the perfect bodies we will recieve in heaven. if you want to go for a 1000 mile run in heaven i bet you can 
.
