I am new to all of this. I have recently been diagnosed with ocd of the religious kind. It started out as panic attacks where I was obsessed about my heart. Everything checked out fine. Then I started getting bad thoughts in my head about God. The thoughts scared me and caused anxiety. Now I struggle with some blasphemy and fear of the unpardonable sin as well. I woke up this morning convinced God has abandoned me. He feels so far away in all of this. I keep hearing people say that He is going to do something wonderful in my life with this and I try to hold onto that. However at times I feel like He has left me and is punishing me. I feel like I can not go to church or get involved with bible studies because they cause anxiety? why? I am seeing a counselor and on meds. This is all so strange to me. At times i feel like I am going crazy. I guess I just neeed encouragement from someone who knows what I am dealing with.
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seajoy
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Welcome hlu2,
You are surely not alone here in this forum. Many of us have suffered with this most difficult illness.
God has already done something wonderful in your life...He has saved you and is taking care of you right now. Faith is not a feeling, so even if He doesn't feel close to you now, it doesn't mean He has moved away.
What you have is an anxiety disorder. I suffered with it for 8 full years without being properly diagnosed. I was in and out of the hospital with severe depression all during that time.
One of the most comforting verses in the bible for an ocd'er is "Be still and know that I Am God." The "be still" part is very important. You will never be able to "figure out" your thoughts. There is no use in even trying.
I'm glad you are on meds, and getting counseling....but please make sure you get exposure/response therapy. God has used it in the lives of thousands who are now healed or in healing from this. I'm am blessed indeed that our Lord brought me to it.
May Christ give you strength in your recovery.
seajoy
You are surely not alone here in this forum. Many of us have suffered with this most difficult illness.
God has already done something wonderful in your life...He has saved you and is taking care of you right now. Faith is not a feeling, so even if He doesn't feel close to you now, it doesn't mean He has moved away.
What you have is an anxiety disorder. I suffered with it for 8 full years without being properly diagnosed. I was in and out of the hospital with severe depression all during that time.
One of the most comforting verses in the bible for an ocd'er is "Be still and know that I Am God." The "be still" part is very important. You will never be able to "figure out" your thoughts. There is no use in even trying.
I'm glad you are on meds, and getting counseling....but please make sure you get exposure/response therapy. God has used it in the lives of thousands who are now healed or in healing from this. I'm am blessed indeed that our Lord brought me to it.
May Christ give you strength in your recovery.
seajoy
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Seajoy, Can you kind of ellaborate on exposure response therapy? I just obsess all day long thoughts churning in my head are saved, have you done the unpardonable sin? Maybe you do not have enough faith..bla bla bla.How do incorporate that?
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OptimisticSmile
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I have been where you are. I woke up every morning for months with the thought "God is not in my life" and the day was limited to me trying to find God in my life which only made it worse.
God did do something wonderful in my life. Have patience. message me if you would like to talk more
God did do something wonderful in my life. Have patience. message me if you would like to talk more
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Don't worry! This is just typical OCD and is not related in any way to your Spiritual relationship with God. I've been through this exactly as you wrote it
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seajoy
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Boy, you sound just like I used to!
What exposure/response therapy is, is just a whole new way to respond to the bad thought. It causes some anxiety, but in time, it trains the brain to not care about the thoughts and they then start to come fewer and farther in between. It works...after 8yrs of suffering I did it, and it worked.
Look at it this way. What you have been doing, like...."I don't think I have a strong faith" you respond with "yes, God has given me faith" is all wrong. It makes the vicious circle of ocd go on and on. What therapy is, is this response "that's right, I don't have a strong faith." Scary beyond words, right? I couldn't believe this is what I had to do to get better.
Just remember that God understands OCD. He is the creator of all things...this is real simple stuff to Him.
I suggest you be under a doctor's care as you do this. He/she will help you with what to do, and how much you can handle at first. Slow and steady wins the race....as my doctor used to say.
God bless,
seajoy
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My therpist has briefly touched on ERP therapy. I think I will encourage more of this. Is this something that I will need to do daily as in devoting a special time for it?
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Many people here have felt exactly the way you do. I still fall into the trap every once in a while. I too was terrified of my Bible and terrified of going to church for fear of having another panic attack. Be assured that it will get better. Meds and therapy are a great combination for treatment at the beginning. The exposure therapy can be some seriously hard and emotionally draining work and the medicine will really help you get through it. I have not yet been able to wean off the meds, and I'm not sure how much of a priority that is to me any more. I'm pretty much back to my old self on them, especially when I use the techniques I used in therapy!
Best of luck! How long have you been on medication? Just an FYI - my obsessions were WAY WAY worse in the beginning of treatment. Some of the medicines can increase obsessive thoughts during the first week or so - something my doctor neglected to tell me until I called thinking I needed to be admitted somewhere...then he told me to half my dose for two weeks and boy did things ever improve...
just a thought!
Seajoy - excellent point - what seems insurmountable to us is child's play to God...easy stuff for him. What a relief!!
Best of luck! How long have you been on medication? Just an FYI - my obsessions were WAY WAY worse in the beginning of treatment. Some of the medicines can increase obsessive thoughts during the first week or so - something my doctor neglected to tell me until I called thinking I needed to be admitted somewhere...then he told me to half my dose for two weeks and boy did things ever improve...
just a thought!
Seajoy - excellent point - what seems insurmountable to us is child's play to God...easy stuff for him. What a relief!!
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I have been on Lexipro for about 1 mth started out at 5 mg and moved up to 10 mgs for about 5 weeks now. I feel better and I am sleeping, eating ect. Thoughts have slowed down but still there. It is encouraging to hear that this gets better. My heart goes out to everyone on this forum and you are in my prayers. Thanks for your encouragement.
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I'm glad you are seeing results on the Lex. That is a positive sign that this particular medicine works for you and will continue to help you improve. You'll be in my prayers!
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