New year, old problems

[sajamor]

I'm feeling quite despairing at the moment of ever finding a life partner or even a fulfilling social life and career. I've registered on a dating site where my messages to men whose profiles I like never get returned. All I ever say is I like the look of their profile or it seems we've some common ground and what about swapping messages on there? It hardly seems stalkerish or too much too soon in my book!

It's reminding me of when I had trouble mixing with people and wondering if I've conquered those problems after all. Then my probation being extended has made me wonder if I've conquered the problems holding down a job I thought I had.

On one hand I want to get back to work away from the flat loneliness of this week off. On the other my anxiety levels have increased to the point where I don't know if I can cope with a return.

 

[mathinspiration]

Maybe you should go and find a church or volunteer and sometimes finding a good therapist works if you are depressed. God will help with you keep praying for calmness. Don't anxious since you will do fine once you are back to work.

 

[Basil the Great]

The best cure for depression and loneliness appears to be finding someway to help others, which allows us to put our own problems in perspective and also gives us a sense of worth. One can volunteer at a local hospital or a homeless shelter or a food pantry or perhaps just helping an elderly or disabled neighbor. I strongly recommend this method to fight depression and loneliness.

 

[dreadnought]

I'm feeling quite despairing at the moment of ever finding a life partner or even a fulfilling social life and career. I've registered on a dating site where my messages to men whose profiles I like never get returned. All I ever say is I like the look of their profile or it seems we've some common ground and what about swapping messages on there? It hardly seems stalkerish or too much too soon in my book!

It's reminding me of when I had trouble mixing with people and wondering if I've conquered those problems after all. Then my probation being extended has made me wonder if I've conquered the problems holding down a job I thought I had.

On one hand I want to get back to work away from the flat loneliness of this week off. On the other my anxiety levels have increased to the point where I don't know if I can cope with a return.

I'm very happy without a wife. I always have the Lord to talk to.

 

[quietpraiyze]

I'm feeling quite despairing at the moment of ever finding a life partner or even a fulfilling social life and career. I've registered on a dating site where my messages to men whose profiles I like never get returned. All I ever say is I like the look of their profile or it seems we've some common ground and what about swapping messages on there? It hardly seems stalkerish or too much too soon in my book!

It's reminding me of when I had trouble mixing with people and wondering if I've conquered those problems after all. Then my probation being extended has made me wonder if I've conquered the problems holding down a job I thought I had.

On one hand I want to get back to work away from the flat loneliness of this week off. On the other my anxiety levels have increased to the point where I don't know if I can cope with a return.

1Pe 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
Psa 55:22 Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.

Don't assume that you are the problem. Don't internalize that. When it comes to dating sites, I hate to say it but A LOT of those men are looking for sex. So if no one is responding that could very well be God's way of protecting you. I would say don't stay at home. Get out and about. Go have a beverage. Look into what community activities are going on around you and don't forget to share your desire for a mate with friends and family. I think that's still a major way people meet their mates (family & friends). \Concerning work, do you know why your probation was extended? If not, are you comfortable asking why? If you're not comfortable asking why, then just pray, continue to be your best, and trust the Lord knowing He has your best interest at hand.

May God's peace encourage you and surround you

 

[dayhiker]

Hi sajamore .. welcome to CF.

I don't know much about anxiety. But that seems to me to be the thing to understand and find a way to minimize it.
A counsellor or a friend you can talk to who is interested in helping and listening.
I even think this message board could help, but the thing with any message board is one can get a lot of advice that doesn't apply to their situation. So you would have to be good at picking the ideas that would work for you and not take any offence from ideas that seem out in left field.

 

[planet_joe]

I'm feeling quite despairing at the moment of ever finding a life partner or even a fulfilling social life and career. I've registered on a dating site where my messages to men whose profiles I like never get returned. All I ever say is I like the look of their profile or it seems we've some common ground and what about swapping messages on there? It hardly seems stalkerish or too much too soon in my book!

It's reminding me of when I had trouble mixing with people and wondering if I've conquered those problems after all. Then my probation being extended has made me wonder if I've conquered the problems holding down a job I thought I had.

On one hand I want to get back to work away from the flat loneliness of this week off. On the other my anxiety levels have increased to the point where I don't know if I can cope with a return.

Yeah I hear you. I was despairing a while ago as well, but I put that down to new years / holiday season. I've struggled with social anxiety disorder and the isolation it causes is absolutely brutal sometimes, some days it just makes me want to off myself. But you keep going...

One thing I've got into lately is a site called Meetup, it's not dating per se, more like a social media and index site for various clubs and friendship groups in whatever area you live in. If you have anxiety there are support groups for that too. Tends to attract a lot of nerdy, socially anxious types like myself anyway, if my meetups are anything to go by. Lots of social and friendship groups catering for various age brackets as well. Highly recommend it.

 

[blackribbon]

I'm feeling quite despairing at the moment of ever finding a life partner or even a fulfilling social life and career. I've registered on a dating site where my messages to men whose profiles I like never get returned. All I ever say is I like the look of their profile or it seems we've some common ground and what about swapping messages on there? It hardly seems stalkerish or too much too soon in my book!

It's reminding me of when I had trouble mixing with people and wondering if I've conquered those problems after all. Then my probation being extended has made me wonder if I've conquered the problems holding down a job I thought I had.

On one hand I want to get back to work away from the flat loneliness of this week off. On the other my anxiety levels have increased to the point where I don't know if I can cope with a return.

Why not consider putting your energy in the fulfilling the longings that you have some control over...the social life and the career...instead of online dating? Sign up for some classes that would help lead toward the career you desire...they can even be classes that will help you advance in the job you have, if that is your desire. Then take time to get to know the other people in your class who obviously have some of the same interests as you do. This can be the start of a better social life. Finding a life partner is a shot in the dark...and although okay to desire, more out of your control than a career and a circle of friends, which can fill your life enough that the dating side doesn't have to control your thoughts.

 

[Celticroots]

I'm very happy without a wife. I always have the Lord to talk to.

That's good. Not everyone is happy single.