Well if you are going to return the kitten, the sooner you do it, the better, because cats have a much harder time getting adopted than kittens do. Discipline is difficult to learn, to be honest. I learned it by learning the piano at a young age. It just carried over to the rest of my life. I'm having trouble with eating too, cuz I take a medication that causes weight gain. I can't get myself to exercise either. So far I'm not obese yet, but I admit food is a struggle for me too. I would recommend gum or something incredibly low calorie to snack on, like popcorn, and vegetables. And drink LOTS of water. Water makes you feel fuller, and sometimes the body, while craving water, will instead get you to eat watery foods instead. I would definitely get gum, but I still don't even have a driver's license yet, I'm going to be taking a driving test for the fifth time this upcoming Wednesday. It's hard to have motivation when you don't know what you are living for. If you live for Christ, then that is motivation to get your life together. Sometimes peer pressure helps to get things together, if it is positive peer pressure. It sounds like the love you have for your grandma gave you the motivation to do something.
I think your motivation was love, or else you simply would not have bothered. You may have been the reluctant son, and said in your heart that you wouldn't, but when push came to shove, you did visit your grandma.
Matthew 21:28-31
The Parable of the Two Sons
28“What do you think? A man had two sons. And he went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work in the vineyard today.’
29And he answered, ‘I will not,’ but afterward he changed his mind and went.
30And he went to the other son and said the same. And he answered, ‘I go, sir,’ but did not go.
31Which of the two did the will of his father?” They said, “The first.” Jesus said to them, “Truly, I say to you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes go into the kingdom of God before you.
Maybe you should do an online bible study? Or you could just ask the chaplains what each of the verses mean. There is a subforum on this website where you can ask the chaplains anything. You can also private message them and they will get back to you. Maybe you can ask under the subforum about scriptures as well. I agree, sometimes the Bible is hard to understand. There are still parables that I don't understand. I've looked up online what they are supposed to mean, but sometimes I am just simply not sure. It's difficult to think without sleep, I agree. I feel for you. When I first started going on SSI I felt that same feeling of there being no escape. I went on a heavy dosage of multiple antidepressants, and would just listen to music nonstop to drown out the emotional pain I felt from failing out of the university I was going to. I have just come to accept that if I just become more loving towards the people in my life and learn to suffer as so many other people also do, that I should be able to get through this life. Despite this life seeming like it draws on forever, I realize that I'm already a quarter way through my life or more, and there is eventual release from this life, one way or another. But now I have hopes of going back to school and eventually getting a job. I don't know how you would be able to go back to school with severe ADHD though. The condition I have can be controlled through medicine, but while I know there are pills for ADHD, I've never had ADHD, and I don't know if any of the medications work on you. Eventually you will escape this life when you die. That's what I tell myself anyways. That's unfortunate that the video games aren't enough to distract you anymore. I was hoping that maybe you could just enjoy doing those for the rest of your life. For me I felt a lot of my pleasure was disappearing, until I kept praying for God to make me a more loving person, especially towards the people that already love me. It has overall given me more pleasure than anything else. I realized that I spent so much time trying to make other people love me, that my own love was somewhat shallow. But really, life is worth nothing without loving God and the people that already love you. Hell, as a Christian you're even supposed to love your enemies and pray for them.
1 Corinthians 13
The Way of Love
1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
2And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
3If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned,
a but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant
5or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
b 6it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
7Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.
9For we know in part and we prophesy in part,
10but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away.
11When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.
12For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
13So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
Being unable to sit still might be because you have ADHD and want to accomplish something with your life. Have you considered taking up a hobby and spending more time with your cousin and brother if you can? I don't know a cure for your restlessness though, I think it might stem from feeling like you lack a sense of purpose. But remember, our only purpose in life is to follow Christ/God.
Ecclesiastes 12:8-14
8Vanity
b of vanities, says the Preacher; all is vanity. Fear God and Keep His Commandments
9Besides being wise, the Preacher also taught the people knowledge, weighing and studying and arranging many proverbs with great care.
10The Preacher sought to find words of delight, and uprightly he wrote words of truth.
11The words of the wise are like goads, and like nails firmly fixed are the collected sayings; they are given by one Shepherd.
12My son, beware of anything beyond these. Of making many books there is no end, and much study is a weariness of the flesh.
13The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.
c 14For God will bring every deed into judgment, with
d every secret thing, whether good or evil.
here is the ask a chaplain link
http://www.christianforums.com/f792/
and here is a link to where you can ask for help in understanding scriptures better
http://www.christianforums.com/f804/
the forum on deeper fellowship might help too
http://www.christianforums.com/f136/