New mom OCD

[byGodslove]

Hi, I hope everyone is doing well and feeling blessed.

I'm a new mom. I love every minute of it and feel so amazingly blessed. My child is my EVERYTHING.

I have suffered from OCD since I was nine years old. I got ahold of it in my teenage years, and it was never much of a problem since then. I would have little things happen, concerining contamination, bad thoughts, anxiety, but it was never more than a couple days and I would get over it.

Being post partum though, my OCD has flared up INTENSLY, and its steadily getting more extreme. First it was just cleanliness, and worry. Worrying that my child was going to be okay, not get sick etc. Now contamination is my big fear. We recently had an ant problem, and I did everything I could not to have to spray bug spray inside, but we finally had to break down and do it yesterday. Of course I was worried about having the bug spray in the house, around my child. However, we sprayed it before we left for a couple hours, and covered everything we could. I'm STILL concerned about contamination of the spray. I'm worried it traveled across the room to things we didn't cover. We just washed our sheets, and even though we covered our bed, I'm worried about touching the parts that werent covered on the bottom. That it will transfer. Even though it says on the bottle that as soon as it dries its not toxic anymore. And it probalby isn't even on there anyway.

I also get super worried about small things, like my baby spitting up. I know its normal, but if she spits up a lot, I get worried that somethings wrong. I know that all worry and fear isn't of God, and that He doesn't want my experience of motherhood to be one of fear and doubt. I know this, but I still struggle. To the point that I'm in tears and exhausted from worrying about these things. I need to recenter myself, and get back to the place I was. I realize that this is just the enemy trying to pull me away from my faith in God, and make me feel distant from Him, but I'm so far into it that its hard to get back to where I was. Any help would be appreciated...I don't want to waste my time with my child worrying over silly things that I shouldn't.

 

[raven1]

That will lessen with time when you get used to your baby because babies are unique and also you will just be a worry wart about the baby at first. It fades I have a girl and when she was a baby my sister said I wouldn't even let her pick her up and when I finally did I watched her every move lol!

 

[byGodslove]

I also feel like everything is cause and effect. you know? Like if I don't pray just right for my daughter to be protected, that she won't be. Sometimes I repeat my prayers five or six times concerning her. I feel like I have to have the exact right mindset in order for my prayer to be valid, which I know is ridiculous. God knows our hearts more than we do! How do I get past this?

 

[gracealone]

Hi Godslove,
There is a huge difference between chosen worry and the intrusive/unwanted doubts and fears of OCD. This is OCD and it's not surprising that it should be bothering you after the birth of your baby. It's pretty common to have that happen when you have OCD.
You are right that "fear isn't of God" but how does that make it your fault. There are many, many things about us that aren't of God. We're pretty broken and OCD is just one of many afflictions that a human might encounter in this life time. But although "God hasn't given us the spirit of fear", He does offer up His grace to us and His strength for whatever our affliction or weakness might be.
It's just so hard to get over ourselves and we focus more on our weaknesses than we do on His mercy and grace.
Now on a more practical note, how did you press through your other OCD obsessions? You succeeded in the past in your efforts and you can do it again. But you must treat these episodes as a manifestation of your disorder rather than making them into a spiritual problem between you and God.
Praying for you,
Mitzi

Hi, I hope everyone is doing well and feeling blessed.

I'm a new mom. I love every minute of it and feel so amazingly blessed. My child is my EVERYTHING.

I have suffered from OCD since I was nine years old. I got ahold of it in my teenage years, and it was never much of a problem since then. I would have little things happen, concerining contamination, bad thoughts, anxiety, but it was never more than a couple days and I would get over it.

Being post partum though, my OCD has flared up INTENSLY, and its steadily getting more extreme. First it was just cleanliness, and worry. Worrying that my child was going to be okay, not get sick etc. Now contamination is my big fear. We recently had an ant problem, and I did everything I could not to have to spray bug spray inside, but we finally had to break down and do it yesterday. Of course I was worried about having the bug spray in the house, around my child. However, we sprayed it before we left for a couple hours, and covered everything we could. I'm STILL concerned about contamination of the spray. I'm worried it traveled across the room to things we didn't cover. We just washed our sheets, and even though we covered our bed, I'm worried about touching the parts that werent covered on the bottom. That it will transfer. Even though it says on the bottle that as soon as it dries its not toxic anymore. And it probalby isn't even on there anyway.

I also get super worried about small things, like my baby spitting up. I know its normal, but if she spits up a lot, I get worried that somethings wrong. I know that all worry and fear isn't of God, and that He doesn't want my experience of motherhood to be one of fear and doubt. I know this, but I still struggle. To the point that I'm in tears and exhausted from worrying about these things. I need to recenter myself, and get back to the place I was. I realize that this is just the enemy trying to pull me away from my faith in God, and make me feel distant from Him, but I'm so far into it that its hard to get back to where I was. Any help would be appreciated...I don't want to waste my time with my child worrying over silly things that I shouldn't.

 

[byGodslove]

You're so right. I didn't even think of it like that at all. Its hard though, because I feel like I'm failing at keeping things in perspective, and all. I just need to retrain my thinking pattern. Put a stop to obsessing before it goes too far. And pray.

 

[gracealone]

I know, it's hard and even knowing that it's OCD doesn't make it any less painful. But do your best to stay on track and if you fall into obsessing don't beat yourself up about it just climb back on the horse and try again till you get good at it.
I'll pray for you.
Mitzi

You're so right. I didn't even think of it like that at all. Its hard though, because I feel like I'm failing at keeping things in perspective, and all. I just need to retrain my thinking pattern. Put a stop to obsessing before it goes too far. And pray.

 

[byGodslove]

Thank you Mitzi. I appreciate that a lot. I feel much better today. Its almost like a switch sometimes.