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Aria

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My name is Aria and I'm new to the forum.

I recently lost a close member of my family and now my sister is alone in Hawaii.

I could use help with consoling her because I am unable to be there with her. I love her very much.

I haven't seen her in yrs. but we do comunicate via telephone.
My grief is great and my heart hurts. Jerry was a long time family friend.
i can't eat,sleep,and am weepy all the time.
I pray almost every waking hour for the grief to pass. Any help on grief will be a great help:crossrc:
 

tobethebest

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My name is Aria and I'm new to the forum.

I recently lost a close member of my family and now my sister is alone in Hawaii.

I could use help with consoling her because I am unable to be there with her. I love her very much.

I haven't seen her in yrs. but we do comunicate via telephone.
My grief is great and my heart hurts. Jerry was a long time family friend.
i can't eat,sleep,and am weepy all the time.
I pray almost every waking hour for the grief to pass. Any help on grief will be a great help:crossrc:[/quote]
_____________________________________________________________


Grief is a healthy and necessary process. It is not healthy to avoid grief or to deny a loss for a long period of the time. Avoidance of grief may lead to serious physical or emotional problems later in life.

Most grieving people do not need psychological or psychiatric treatment. Typically, medications, such as antidepressants, are required only when grief has progressed into major depression.

When professional help is sought for grief, interpersonal therapy is among the most commonly used forms of psychotherapy. This therapy focuses on grief, assessment of the relationship with the deceased, identifying and reviewing symptoms, and encouraging satisfying relationships and activities.

Group therapy can also be helpful. It allows grieving people to meet and discuss their feelings with others who are grieving. Support groups, both in-person and on the Internet, can help grieving people, especially those who wish to receive more specialized support, such as parents who have lost a child.


The most important aspect for grieving people is learning to cope with their loss. People who are grieving may need to keep certain coping tips in mind, including:
Avoid isolation except during prayer. Do not separate your time with God. He is the healer of your soul. It is important for grieving people to trust in God's support.



Take care of physical health. People who are grieving still need to see a physician when feeling unwell. Most physical complications of grief can be eased by eating properly, exercising and getting plenty of rest.


  • Postpone major decisions when possible. Grief may interfere with judgment. Major decisions may need to be postponed. Direct attention to other needs that surround your home and family.
Individuals can take certain steps to help others cope with grief, including:
  • Listen. People who are grieving need to share their thoughts and feelings with others.


    Do not offer false comfort. Comments such as “He’s in a better place now” or “At least she’s not suffering anymore” often do not help and may make the grieving person feel even worse.

  • Offer practical help. Grieving individuals may benefit from assistance with household chores or errands.
We pray this is of great assistance to you Aria. Remember, prayer answers a million questions.

:bow:
 
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kaykay9.0

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tobethebest had some really good advice. Loved that last sentence that "prayer answers a million questions."

After we lost our 16 year old son, I wrote a book directed primarily to other bereaved parents. I tried to put together what I called "lifelines." Here are some of the ones that I think are adaptable to any grief:


If you are not already a Christian, accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior. He IS the healer of the broken-hearted!

Spend time in prayer (already mentioned above, but it's important so I'll mention it again!):prayer:

Forgive anyone involved with the death. (This might even include God or yourself.)

Seek Godly counsel or a support group if you feel you could benefit from it.

Read books if you are so inclined. I strongly recommend Zig Ziglar's Confessions of a Grieving Christian.

Don't isolate yourself. (mentioned above) You may need some "alone time" to sort through everything, but keep engaged with other people too.

Along those lines, stay in church. If you haven't been attending, I would suggest you find a good Bible-believing church and go!:preach:

As opportunity presents itself, try to bless others.

With grief, nothing helps as much as just the Lord and time. Sometimes a long time depending on the depth of the grief.

My condolences on your loss~:hug:hugs and prayers~

kk
 
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Aria

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tobethebest had some really good advice. Loved that last sentence that "prayer answers a million questions."

After we lost our 16 year old son, I wrote a book directed primarily to other bereaved parents. I tried to put together what I called "lifelines." Here are some of the ones that I think are adaptable to any grief:


If you are not already a Christian, accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior. He IS the healer of the broken-hearted!

Spend time in prayer (already mentioned above, but it's important so I'll mention it again!):prayer:

Forgive anyone involved with the death. (This might even include God or yourself.)

Seek Godly counsel or a support group if you feel you could benefit from it.

Read books if you are so inclined. I strongly recommend Zig Ziglar's Confessions of a Grieving Christian.

Don't isolate yourself. (mentioned above) You may need some "alone time" to sort through everything, but keep engaged with other people too.

Along those lines, stay in church. If you haven't been attending, I would suggest you find a good Bible-believing church and go!:preach:

As opportunity presents itself, try to bless others.

With grief, nothing helps as much as just the Lord and time. Sometimes a long time depending on the depth of the grief.

My condolences on your loss~:hug:hugs and prayers~

kk
_______________________________________________________________

Thank you for your kind support.Acutally i've lost 3 members of my family in the past 6 months. My Dad,Father in -law,and of course my dearest friend.I have been depressed for some time.And my next DR.visit I will tell him.I can't eat,sleep,or participate in any activities.I blame it on my fibromyalgia.Which is a painfull condition through out the body.As well as chronic fatigue syndrome.So my plate is full and my heart is heavy.
 
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kaykay9.0

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It's a hard season when you have multiple losses so close together like that. That was kind of the case with my husband. First our son died and of course, that was the most devastating blow but then my husband also lost one of his best friends, his father and his boss (who he dearly loved) within about 2 years of that.

And then you mentioned you are coping with the fibromyalgia too. I think you should indeed level with your physician about what's going on and maybe the sooner the better.

Prayers for you for healing (physically & spiritually) during this tough season of your life~~
 
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hopeinGod

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It is often deep comfort to me to remind myself that "MANY are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him (her) out of them all." (Ps. 34:19)

I too suffer with fibromyalgia, even fatigue, and it is not an easy road to walk. The meds I must take keep me functioning reasonably well; but then, when further loss hits -- and, I say further because I have already lost much of my old self due to my physical challenges -- I know I must continue to turn everything over to the Lord, then rest in Him.

It's not easy to do or maintain such an attitude, but we must strive as best as we can through God's enablement. Lately, I've been well enough to put my gloves on and root around in the yard while I listen on the headset to an appropriate sermon or songs. I try not to spend too much unoccupied time because I tend to think a lot about things.

Our lives are being lived one day at a time, sometimes even one moment at a time, yet, be assured that in each second we are being held up by God's love.
 
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NostalgicGranny

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I just lost my mother in June, so I understand how alone you must feel. Especially with all of the other loses you have had.

The world keeps turning even when you wish it would stand still for a while. There is no such thing as a standard way to grieve. And we all feel our hearts hurt when someone we love passes away. My best advice is to remember it is ok to do it your way as long as you are not losing yourself. There will be times when putting one foot in front of the other is all you can do, and other times when it is easier to do. Neither one is right or wrong. Once you have given yourself time to grieve you have to apply yourself to today. Make sure you do the things you have to do, regardless of how you feel inside. At first you are just going through the motions, but then one day you will realize "Hey! I did it. I managed to get through this without thinking about my heart hurting." Your memories will always be there, but you will be able to dwell more on the good memories, instead of your pain.
 
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