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[3Princessmom]

Hi there I'm new to all of this, in fact my daughter is just beginning the testing to find out what's going on (her hearing gets tested tomorrow). She's 4 1/2 and we're getting concerned as she doesn't really seem to be devolping normally mentally. I've been searching all over the net for like 2 hours now to try to find some kind of guide or warning signs to figure out if my daughter really does have a mental issue and if so how bad, also just wondering what she might have going on. I've found nothing of use from multiple Google searches, so I am hoping maybe you guys can help me.

Some of the red flags for me are:

She still is having trouble forming sentances / talking

Has a lot of trouble (sometimes) following simple directions and will start bawling out of frustration. <Like if I ask to pick sometihng up and I'm pointing at it, she can't figure out what I want, just as one example>

She didn't figure out how to dress herself until 4. And she can still not put her shoes on, except sandals.

Her drawings look very odd. She usually will draw people as two great big eyes at the top, no body, and legs and arms coming off of the eyes. I've never seen anything quite like it.

She has an obsession with taking her clothes off, luckily only in our home not in public.

If I ask her what we did today, she can not answer.

A lot of times when we ask her questions she looks at us blankly having no idea what we want her to say and then will come up with random things to answer us. (Usually it's soccer ball, God, or the title of whatever movie is her latest favorite)

She has no idea where she lives, address, phone number, even her last name. She only started telling people her name at about 3 1/2.


As you can see it's nothing major, but it's enough that we are worried. I did find some guides to 4 year old milestones today, and the ones that were more detailed she was missing a lot of those milestones. Not to mention she is just lacking a basic maturity. I was trying tot hink what age level she is at in comparison with our first daughter, and honestly she can't even be compared to our first daughter when she was 2. There's just something missing there, there's something very different from other kids her age.

Any help as to what you all think about this would be great (is she slow or not, and if so is there a paticular disorder?), and any ideas for a good website to go to for info would also be helpful. Thanks so much everyone!

 

[kayd1966]

Welcome to this little corner of CF!

What kind of testing have you had done so far?

There are a few things that came to mind as I read your post...have you looked at any websites or looked for any information on PDD/NOS?

 

[3Princessmom]

So far she just got her hearing test done today, and that's it. It came back on the low side of normal, a bit muffled because she has fluid in her eardrums. So we go back tomorrow to see a doc and get her treated for that, then she should be fine. But the tech that tested her said the ranges she was showing did not indicate permanant hearing loss, it was just from the fluid. So she checked out okay there.

From here I don't know what my doc has planned, she jsut said she would get her in touch with a doc who does age appropriate testing. I don't know what exactly will be done, a bit nervous about this next step as I have no idea what it entails.

I have not looked for websites for PDD/NOS, I'll chekc it out though. Thanks!

 

[3Princessmom]

I just checked out some info on it, and it's really hard to tell if she's like that or not. Most of what i could find were pretty vague saying that each case is so different and that there are a broad range of "symptoms" that can be present.

A couple things did stick out to me though. I read that they have to have a routine or some have to have a specific wardrobe that they must wear. She is very much like this, not so much in the daily routine part but BIG time in her clothes. She went through a period for about a year where she wouldn't wear anything if it wasn't pink, and absolutely no jeans. If I tried to dress her in something (like I put it on her and didn't give her a choice) she would end up in tears bawling that she didn't look pretty. There was nothing I could do to calm her down or console her except to change her clothes. I got alot of weird looks about this from family, suggesting that I was just lettingh er have her way. But there was just no way I could make her go out bawling and heartbroken just because of her clothes. So Id din't listen to them and did what she needed. Now that's she a bit older she's a little more flexible. If I'm buying her new clothes, she must pick them out. And if they are hand-me-downs she will usually only wear them if they are from her cousin (or I tell her that they are ) Although she did hav e arecent obsession with buying Spiderman shoes, and I ended up having to indulge her since none of the girl shoes in the store would fit her!

Another thing that stuck out was focusing on one detail instead of the whole thing. I haven't watched to see if she does this with objects, but she does it when we watch a movie. She'll pick one thing out and obsess about it and start talking over the movie and asking me questions about this one thing and wants to keep elaborating on it. I finally will have to say to her, honey please be quiet and watch. And she usually does. But she pretty much goes from one detail to another. It's work watching amovie with her, and my husband can't stand to sit with us! He get's so frustrated.

So I don't know, like I said before I have no idea what kind of testing she will get. I am just hoping to kind of get a heads up from you guys about what to expect and what she might have. Thanks again!

 

[becstar77]

well as I read through that I was like yeap normal.... tick tick tick... I am like she is a normal kid...... then I remembered that my son has high functioning Autism. It is not like the classic (generally with classic Autism there is very little language)

here is some things that have been identified as Autistic behaviours that my son has displayed:

delayed speech, then when speech has come there has been delays with sentence structure etc. He is very verbal just still behind his peers in receptive language (misses the point, doesn't understand) etc, expressive language (lost of frustration tantrums etc

Obsessive on subject matters - my son's obsessions last for around 6months they seem to hang around forever then suddenly dissappear - Just as your rejoicing you realise he has replaced it with the next obsession. Specific examples have been when he was 4 it was Ants. He would collect them before school, after school. he would put them in containers and hide them all over the house. He sneaked them to school. buying him an Ant farm did not stop him wanting to continue to collect them. He would get distressed if they died, or if he got bitten but it would not deter him from going back to collect more Ants. When he was 5 (first year primary) he would talk about the clouds. Every day he got out of bed and the first thing he would say is "Are the clouds open or shut?" he would repeat this constantly on the way to school. every time he met someone knew its what he would engage them in with conversation

Last year it was lights - you know the white flourescent ones? he would go into shops and do an "inventory" on their lights and tell them which ones were not working. He figured out that if you fold an A4 piece of paper in a certain way he could imitate the floursecent light. He constantly made these lights. He would sneak paper from the printer to make more and more. I found them stashed everywhere - At one count there were 40 of these lights that he had made.

Currently its seeds and trees. He keeps picking seeds up off the ground and planting them in the hopes they will grow. he talks about it to everyone that he meets. I am finding seeds in all places over the house.

Most interestingly was last year when he was focused on lights he and his friends at school had a visit from the year one teacher who left to go on maternity leave. She brought her babies in to show the boys. The first thing he says: "Jo?", Jo: "Yes Jonathan" Jonathan:"Are the clouds open or closed?" So after all that time that he hadn't focused on his obsession the moment someone came back from an era of a different obsession he switched to talk to them about what he had previously talked to them about!!

My son has had constant ear troubles, ear infections, perforated ear drums, glue ear etc.

There are fears that are unrealistic and that cannot be reasoned with IE my son will NOT go on a bouncy castle, despite the fact that he is a good swimmer (where he can stand) will NOT go to the deep end AND each time he visits a new pool it takes him a long time to sus it out. He needs to know how deep it is - this can take weeks etc to allow him to visit the same pool before he will just get in the shallow end.

If you try to encourage him, coax him with his fears he just freaks... screams and won't stop. I have had security guards approach us at a public pool because of his screaming

self harming - hitting head, biting hand

anxiety - displayed washing hands

*look at the end of the day it is true to say that each child is so unique, your instinct tells you that something is wrong and follow through until you get the answers you need - at the end of the day the answers help you to know where you stand and how to help your DD. I just really want to encourage you where you are at with your process - the early stages can be very frightening and you can feel that you are alone - BUT know that you are not

The earlier you can get some help for your daughter the better for her

*HUGS*

 

[3Princessmom]

Your son does sound a lot like my dd. Thanks for the encouragement!

 

[kayd1966]

Just to clarify, PDD/NOS is on the Autism Spectrum. I used that term because I wanted you to look at your daughter without the Autism word in your head.

Years ago, PDD/NOS was the diagnose given to girls because there was a misconception that only boys had Autism.

From what you've said, I would be looking for the following tests:

1. A Speech Assessment by a Speech Pathologist
2. A Behavior/Social Skills Assessment by a Pediatric Psychologist.

I realize that you aren't sure where to turn from here and are relying on the Dr to order tests. If he doesn't order the tests I mentioned, ASK FOR THEM. DO NOT take no for an answer. If they don't find anything, great, but if they do...then you have the time to get help and support.

The earlier you get answers and direction the better.

I have quite a bit of information, PM me if you like.

God Bless...