New 'Fun' thread

[RobNJ]

 

[prodromos]

View attachment 265304

The irony of this is that if he was human, looking at his phone, he would be likewise completely harmless.

 

[Philip_B]

The irony of this is that if he was human, looking at his phone, he would be likewise completely harmless.

I think you meant armless!

 

[Anhelyna]

 

[Anhelyna]

 

[Anhelyna]

 

[Philip_B]

 

[Anhelyna]

 

[Anhelyna]

Bearing in mind that the Advent Fast is approaching [ rather quickly too ]

 

[Anhelyna]

 

[Anhelyna]

 

[ArmyMatt]

View attachment 266157

someone said that spell check is like a little elf that lives in your computer who wants to be helpful, but is really drunk.

 

[Anhelyna]

a drunken elf ?? I like that

 

[Anhelyna]

 

[Anhelyna]

 

[Not David]

View attachment 266369

I understood even when I don't know French.

 

[RobNJ]

The Selfie Generation

 

[prodromos]

It's been a while since this has been posted...

William Safire's Rules for Writers

• Remember to never split an infinitive.
• A preposition is something never to end a sentence with.
• The passive voice should never be used.
• Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read.
• Don't use no double negatives.
• Use the semicolon properly, always use it where it is appropriate; and never where it isn't.
• Reserve the apostrophe for it's proper use and omit it when its not needed.
• Do not put statements in the negative form.
• Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
• No sentence fragments.
• Proofread carefully to see if you words out.
• Avoid commas, that are not necessary.
• If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
• A writer must not shift your point of view.
• Eschew dialect, irregardless.
• And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
• Don't overuse exclamation marks!!!
• Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
• Hyphenate between sy-
  llables and avoid un-necessary hyphens.

• Write all adverbial forms correct.
• Don't use contractions in formal writing.
• Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
• It is incumbent on us to avoid archaisms.
• If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
• Steer clear of incorrect forms of verbs that have snuck in the language.
• Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
• Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
• Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
• Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
• If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, resist hyperbole.
• Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration.
• Don't string too many prepositional phrases together unless you are walking through the valley of the shadow of death.
• Always pick on the correct idiom.
• "Avoid overuse of 'quotation "marks."'"
• The adverb always follows the verb.
• Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; They're old hat; seek viable alternatives.
• Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
• DO NOT use all caps to emphasize.
• Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
• Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
• Puns are for children, not groan readers.
• Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
• Be careful to use the rite homonym.
• Never use a long word when a diminutive one would suffice.
• Employ the vernacular.
• Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
• Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
• Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
• Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
• One should never generalize.
• Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
• Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
• Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
• Be more or less specific.
• Understatement is always best.
• One-word sentences? Eliminate.
• Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
• Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
• Who needs rhetorical questions?
• Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
• capitalize every sentence and remember always end it with a point

 

[Philip_B]

 

[Philip_B]