New Christian - Need support :(

[Mizzcriss]

Hi everyone, I joined this forum because I'm really struggling right now.

I just truly became a Christian literally 30 mins ago, and subsequently had to break up with my boyfriend of 9 months, who has stuck by me through a lot.

To start, I'm a 20 yr old college student and although I grew up in a Christian home, not just religious, and I gave a confession of faith in front of the congregation when I was 12, my heart never belonged to Christ and my life became more and more sinful as I got older.

But today during the sermon, my pastor, RC Sproul said that "So many people's hearts have become new..." blah blah blah, and I realized that mine wasn't and I had an overwhelming sense of guilt and shame about my life, and I knew I wanted God to give me a new heart. I can’t explain the feeling but I just knew. And even though my boyfriend attended church today as well, because it was Easter, he couldn’t remotely understand how I felt, however my parents understood immediately and were really encouraging. It just made me realize that in order to serve God, I couldn’t be with my boyfriend anymore, as much as he has supported me through everything.

So I’m just really, really struggling right now, we had plans for marriage and starting a family, he was my best and ONLY friend, literally, and all of that is just gone. All my plans for my life are gone. I truly just wonder will anybody ever love me again, will I ever get married and have a family.

But I also have to realize that God’s love should be enough, but it’s hard to go from something so tangible so something completely intangible, when a few months ago, my boyfriend and I were contemplating the mere existence of God. Now all of a sudden, I’m saved and leaving him. It seems so ridiculous to be whining over this but even though I’m happy in one way, I’m so sad about him I just can’t stop crying. I just don’t know what to do besides pray. Sorry this is so long

 

[EphesiaNZ]

Okay, I'm pleased that you have chosen the Lord for your saviour but feel that you have possibly thrown the baby out with the bath water. Why did you break off with your boyfriend, is he real bad or did you do it just because he wouldn't make the jump with you?

If it was because he wouldn't take the leap of faith, just reverse the situation and think how you would feel if he ditched you for the same reason? You said he stuck with you through a lot and that he attended Easter service with you - is that because he possibly loved you ?

If the real issue is that he no longer fits yours plans just because he hasn't chosen God at that particular moment then I really think you have just made a big mistake - sorry! If he was contemplating the "God thing" then this is the single most reason why he should not want to even consider it anymore. My wife was (and is) a Christian when we married and it took seventeen years for me to seek the Lord (as of about ten days ago) she stuck by me knowing that some people said we were both going to hell as the result of her marrying a non-Christian.

I'm making some assumptions about why you broke up but guess this is the reason - please correct me if I'm wrong.

I'm sorry to be a bit negative about something that should be life changing but would suggest you consider your (ex) boyfriend if he still cares.

 

[Mizzcriss]

Thanks a lot for your reply, and although yes.. it's a bit negative but it made me look at a little differently.

But after talking to him about my feelings after church, he basically told me that he tried the whole God thing and it just wasn't him, and that I couldn't change who he is. And the fact that I was participating in things with him that would not please God, and would have to cease, I don't know how he could deal with it.

The lack of sex, having to not curse around me, not touch me certain ways, etc is just too big of a change and it would be too stressful trying to still keep him happy with all the changes.

He would be frustrated and so would I. If I were already a Christian when we started dating, it would be different, we never would have had sex in the first place, etc. And there were other reasons as well, there were things about lifestyles, childrearing and some other things that we severely disagreed about that I think would been big problems when it was already too late, like after marriage and children.

And my parents didn't really completely approve of him, he was just a step up from my felon ex-boyfriend before him.

 

[EphesiaNZ]

Okay, I see the picture a bit clearer now. Perhaps you're right in your decision but while it will be great to find a Christian boyfriend don't rule out the secular men as there are some nice ones out there and some will want to seek the Lord sooner or later- I should know eh!

Remember, just because a guy is a Christian it won't guarantee his temptations will be any less than that of a normal guy - yes we know it should be but it doesn't always work that way sometimes.

Anyway, I wish you all the luck for you future - remember it's early days in your new life

 

[LifebyChrist]

Take your picture off of this site and I will bless you.

Don't announce that your single and put your picture up...

James 5:13 "Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise."

Hosea 4:6 "my people are destroyed from lack of knowledge. "Because you have rejected knowledge, I also reject you as my priests; because you have ignored the law of your God, I also will ignore your children."

People are destroyed for lack of knowledge, they do not know the rights they have in God simply by not reading the Bible.

Here is a basic Bible plan for you to start out with, read one chapter in the book of Romans each day and write a summary about it, after this move on to the book of Mark and do the same thing, then the book of James, after that you can choose any books you would like to read but you should start reading from Genesis up until the entire Old Testament so you can understand how Israel had came to be and the various laws and struggles they had.

Be careful,

1 Peter 5:8 "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."

Being a Christian is not to feel good and it is not for glamour, it is a narrow path and there are many struggles you will face. You will cry and cry and be in pain and misery because you will be making your spirit stronger.

1 Peter 5:10 "And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast."

The thing to understand is that you or me or anybody except Jesus is worthy to live up to what we are called to be, you will fail unless you realize this. You must trust in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour and that is the work.

John 6:29 "Jesus answered, "The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent."

1 Corinthians 3:15 "If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames."

Matthew 7:24 "Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock."

Matthew 7:25 "The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock."

Please stay a Christian, because it will save your soul in the end.

Our lives do not last forever in this natural world.

1 Corinthians 7:31 "those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away."

Matthew 16:26 "What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?"

Just do not worry about the rat race, God has called us to run a far greater race and we go into training for a crown that will last.

1 Corintihans 9:25 "Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever."

Pray to God and ask him to give you the Holy Spirit and speaking in a new tongues.

John 16:13 "But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come."

I will bless you in the name of Jesus, that you may be thoroughly equipped to serve God and that God may plainly reveal things to you, so you will know beyond any doubt what you are called to do and what you plan is.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

You will have to change the way you are living right now but understand God disciplines you because he sees so much more for you, far beyond what we can see at the time.

Hebrews 12:6 "because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."

Isaiah 55:9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

John 15:4 "Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me."

God has offered you this, now you must act on it and take it.

Matthew 13:12 "Whoever has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him."

My prayer for you is this, that you will treat people with respect and kindness, that you will not look down on them but that you will be compassionate towards them and forgive them just as God forgives you and that you may be blessed of God.

 

[Sketcher]

Sounds like you need to get into a young adult or campus ministry. You'll make friends that are Christians. You'll meet guys, but I encourage you to focus on developing deep friendships with the women, to have some friends who are going to be there for you if/when dating relationships don't pan out. Also, it's best to get grounded in the Christian life before seeking a mate - marriage is a life-long commitment, so you need to know who you are - and you were just born again yesterday! It would also help you in this time of growing in the Lord to learn to be a better judge of a guy's character, given the track record you have shared with us. Don't take this as rules, rules, rules, it's more like wise advice for helping you to live a better and happier life.

 

[Harry3142]

Mizzcriss-

Welcome to the community of the faithful.

Remember that even as our salvation is dependent on our accepting it as God's gift to us rather than as a salary to be earned, what we say and do as Christians is to also be seen by us as originating with another gift freely given to us by God:

So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.

The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. (Galatians 5:16-26,NIV)

I call this 'The Christians' Code of Conduct'. But it does not depend on our obeying rules and regulations. Instead, it depends on our truly trusting God' Spirit to lead us. It is he who battles our sinful nature, not we ourselves. It is he who 'reins in' that sinful nature, not we ourselves. And it is he that implants in us a new nature (the fruit of the Spirit), not we ourselves.

So as our salvation was a free gift from God to us, our behavior as Christians is also a free gift from God to us. For this reason there can be no conceit, and no boasting, because in both instances the credit is God's, and his alone.

Do not trust in your ability to hold on to God; trust in God's ability to hold on to you.

 

[Mizzcriss]

Sounds like you need to get into a young adult or campus ministry. You'll make friends that are Christians. You'll meet guys, but I encourage you to focus on developing deep friendships with the women, to have some friends who are going to be there for you if/when dating relationships don't pan out. Also, it's best to get grounded in the Christian life before seeking a mate - marriage is a life-long commitment, so you need to know who you are - and you were just born again yesterday! It would also help you in this time of growing in the Lord to learn to be a better judge of a guy's character, given the track record you have shared with us. Don't take this as rules, rules, rules, it's more like wise advice for helping you to live a better and happier life.

Thanks for your support and you're right, finding fellowship with other Christians my age is one of my top priorities right now. Every time that my mom used to try to get me to go to youth group and things like that in high school I resisted and hated it... how ironic that now I desperately want something like that lol. And yes, I'm really trying to avoid romantic relationships right now, until I grow a lot more and become way more grounded in my faith. Friends are what I'm really looking for, something that I haven't really had since high school. But as sad as I still am, I'm really looking forward to my new journey, something I've never felt before

 

[Saved_n_kept]

Hi Mizzcriss,

Just a word of encouragement!

"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?" 2Co 6:14

"Wherefore the LORD God of Israel saith, ........ for them that honour me I will honour, and they that despise me shall be lightly esteemed." 1Sa 2:30

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." Jer 29:11

May God bless you as you continue to walk with Him and put Him first in all things,

Brian.

 

[jellybean30]

Hi everyone, I joined this forum because I'm really struggling right now.

I just truly became a Christian literally 30 mins ago, and subsequently had to break up with my boyfriend of 9 months, who has stuck by me through a lot.

Hi there. I hope you are feeling better. I completely understand how you feel. Like yourself I too grew up in a "Christian" home, but I truly was never one until two years ago. Unfortunately for me all of my friends and even my boyfriend are a reflection of my previous life. While my boyfriend is not Christian he is very understanding and in many ways very respectful of my beliefs. However I often feel frustrated and sometimes completely alone when we discuss current events and how it relates to our religious beliefs and the such.

Besides seeking Christian friendship, I believe we should pray for guidance and strength. If you ever want to talk or chat you are more than welcome to PM me

 

[SanctuaryoftheGnosis]

I have heard of many cases in which a faithful spouse or girl/boyfriend had inspired their companion nonbeliever into faith. We must be inspiring and graceful, such is the way of the true Christian faith. It's not about habitual practices, cutesy prayers or an exterior of humility and uprightness. It has to come from within and not be done out of guilt, fear, or anything but love. When we apologize for our shortcomings, we must do this out of love for God, when we change our lifestyles, we must do it out of love for God.

Heck, even despite popular belief even Crowley had stated find your true Will, that is the true Will of your spirit, but be chaste in the pursuit of life, and in the upmost do all things to the glory of God. All things. Make breakfast to the glory of God, take a shower to the glory of God, feed your pets to the glory of God, breathe in the air to the glory of God, and likewise exhale, be grateful and in ecstacy of life, for it need not be, and yet it is. This entire world is alive and thriving, not for His sake, but for ours. And in this we should feel a sense of jubilation, for this is the essence of spirituality, and without such the bible is as Jules Vernes, a great read but nothing more.

True belief is to be a walking bible, to express and to live life in a constant state of grace within the Lord, to live and breathe the gospel and bring life to it's words, for without it the words are as dead, as dust. It is through US as believers, not through the teachings of the gospel alone, that we are alive in Christ, that as he breathes life into our bodies so too does a community of devotees breathe life into his Word.

 

[Bella Vita]

You did the right thing by breaking it off with him. Christians really should be with other Christians. It is much less of a temptation to sin if you are with someone who thinks and loves God the same way you do. Your first step now is to be in consistent prayer just have conversations with God I know it will be weird at first but just let it flow like you were talking to your dad same kinda thing. It seems like you have lost everything and this is exactly my how my testimony goes also so I've been there. But God will give you the next step in your journey you just have to be ready to hear it. Get planted in your parents church or find your own. But get involved in small groups or bible studies. It is a way to learn about God but also meet new people. You need to start surrounding yourself with other Christians who can lift you up in this time. Do those two things and I guarantee you it will start to get better.

hang in there girl being a christian is not easy if anything it is harder but it is right and you know it is the truth so hang on for the ride it is all worth it =]

 

[insurchoftruth]

The love of God, is tangible, and you can experience it, in your heart, because the Bible says that his love is in our heart, by the Holy Spirit.

If God is Love, and if he lives in our hearts, when we give our life to him, then it means that we have Love in us. That is why, it is absolutely true, that you can experience his love and presence, in a tangible way.

And nothing can compare to the Love of God.

Do not worry about you boyfriend, because everything you leg go, for the sake of God and your faith in him, God will give you something much better! So be encouraged and trust him. In the proper time, he will give you a family and a husband, because he loves you. He loves you so much, that he can not allow himself, not to bless you and give you a family.

 

[Ttery]

God can use anything that may seem bad to you, good. He can work it out for the good, for those who Love Him.

Romans 3:8ab

"“Let us do evil that good may result”?"

Although that is not the whole verse, it has to be taken into account with other verses like:

Romans 8:28

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

If something supposed "bad" happens to you, God can turn it around and use it for Good. For example, a man can do a terrible thing in God's sight and sin against you, but God's Righteousness can be shown in you by sparing that man and forgiving him for what he has done. See? Even though someone may have caused something bad to happen to you, God's Righteousness can be displayed in that situation.

Also, yesterday, I was trying to get 2 free games on the PS3, because of what had happened (PSN was hacked). I messed up and I wasn't able to get them or have the chance of getting them again, so I kinda got a little bit mad. But even though that "bad" thing happened, God can use it for good. I don't believe God would want me playing video games if it's just gonna take away time for Him and me. God would rather have my attention than have video games get my attention. That's another example of God using bad things for good.

YouTube - ‪Jaeson Ma - Love (feat. Bruno Mars)‬‏