New christian, having guilt

[Littlek]

Hello,
I have been visiting this site for quite a while and decided to join. I am a new christian, almost 2 years, and I am having trouble with a couple of things. First of all I have always, (since I was little) believed in God. I read the bible to my children and tried to teach them the best that I knew. I didn't go to church and didn't totally change my life until a few years ago when I hit the bottom. I think that was my true turning point. Anyway, I have a christian sister whom I go to church with and she tried to help me with questions as much as possible. I know I am saved, I have asked to be saved and accepted Jesus as my savior and I have repented and turned away from sin that I was in before. (I know we still sin) Now I am stuck in this critical thinking that bothers me alot. At times I don't feel good enough, and I know we are not good enough and we will never be, but I judge everything I do! I am trying to please God and I am so scared to make the wrong choice. It is a awful pattern to be in and I hate it. I know we can not earn our way to heaven, why am I constantly worrying about what I am doing right or what am I doing that may be wrong. I want to relax and enjoy God, I want to stop thinking oh if I don't go next door and check on my neighbor I am bad, or if someone cuts me off in traffic and it makes me upset, Im bad, or if I decide to go shopping and spend time with hubby all day, Im selfish. Ahhh. lol. Do you see what I am saying? Is this satan trying to trick me? I know to much guilt is from him. I think this is the worst part for me. I feel like I am in a trap...ah, maybe I am. I will probably have more questions...lol, I don't have any close christian friends who can help me with some issues.

Thanks for all of your help and advise.

Karen

 

[tcwoods91]

Hi Karen,

I can relate a lot as your account practically mirrors what I have went through. For a great deal of time I felt like I could never do enough things right and I felt as though I was trying to earn my salvation even though I knew that it was not works by which I was saved, but through faith. Works are fruit of faith. But I would constantly find myself doing works simply to please people rather than God. The problem was that I was trying to live as I felt was right rather than asking God. I had very little communication with God. Through various circumstances God began teaching me that I needed to be seeking Him more. I wasn't hungering to know God more. I'm convinced that one of the most important things we can do is seek to know God more. I'm not talking just about head knowledge here. I'm talking about literally getting to know God and spending time just listening to Him as well as talking to Him. It's an ongoing dialogue. I found that when I seeked after God and began to know Him in deeper ways that my heart began transforming and the works no longer were about me, but were about God's love. Because I knew that He loved me, it made me choose to love others. Because I saw that God was just it made me what to live justly. Because I knew that God was pure, I wanted to live a life of purity. And because I saw that God was faithful, my faith in Him increased. It's been a beautiful thing, walking alongside Jesus. Our relationship with Jesus is the most beautiful relationship that could possibly exist. As you journey into the heart of God, may you become even more like Him! You're asking the right questions!

Blessings my sister!

Your brother in Christ!

Trevor

 

[LWB]

Hi Littlek.

Imagine that you knew without a shadow of doubt you were guaranteed entry into Heaven. In fact, there was nothing you could do, short of complete and utter apostasy over a very prolonged period of time, that would reverse the situation.

Likewise, there was absolutely nothing you needed to do. You didn't have to read your bible, pray, attend church, or do any good works. If you didn't want to visit that neighbour, no problem. You didn't even have to think about God.

If the above was true, ask yourself how things might change. Don't be afraid to explore exactly what you would want to do or change, because it will give you a good indication of how you stand in regard to the Kingdom of Heaven.

To some people, including myself at times, following Jesus is not only a chore, but a very poor trade for all the carnal delights on offer.

Like overbearing parents who make their child learn the piano, even though the child hates it. What a torment it is to endlessly practice scales and learn chords. What torture to look out the window and see all the other children running free in the sunshine. If there wasn't some dire threat like having toys and privileges withdrawn, that kid would be outside in the sunshine quick smart.

This is not how the Kingdom of Heaven should be. On the contrary, the Kingdom is like a child who can think of nothing better than playing the piano all day. Every morning the child wakes up excited to learn something new. So the music that flows through the fingers of that child, born from a labour of love, not odious chore, is music to the ears.

To become someone who serves God through love and passion, rather than through guilt and fear, just requires persistence. For the true nature of God's gracious love and beauty is eventually inescapable.

 

[SharonL]

Just remember, Jesus is your friend, you can talk to him just like you talk to a friend. Also remember all your sins are thrown into the lake of forgetfulness - God sees them no more - you are washed in the Blood of Jesus, white as snow. So throw off the guilt and walk into the arms of Jesus - YOU ARE WORTHY - Jesus died for you that you might come boldly to the Throne.

Just do what the Holy Spirit leads you to do - don't try to be perfect - we can't be perfect. Be the servant that Jesus leads you to - also remember that Jesus told us to treat our neighbors as ourselves - that's all we need to do.

 

[Littlek]

Thank you for all of your help. You know I was sitting here thinking of how much I base my self on human standards. You know for instance, when you were in school, oh she is such a good student, she never gets in trouble, blah, blah, blah, and growing up never really stepped out of line, always acted in control, sort of a "good" person in human standards. Now, I know I have sinned, we all have, and when you look at what you have done against God you feel filthy and dirty and low, and I just want to be "good" for God. I accept grace, but my emotions are haywire..lol, and they won't let me rest in his peace. It's a hurdle, I know I can get over it, but it may take time. I was recently diagnosed with fibromyalgia last year, and can no longer hold a job down. I have to take it one day at a time, and I have been kinda focused on that. I know God lets things happen in your life for a reason. This is a big trial for me, being patient with pain everyday. Not doing what I once did, and depending on hubby to pay all the bills. Maybe he is teaching me patience, maybe I was to independent before, and he has changed things for the good, maybe I need to learn to be dependent on him.

One more thing, do you know how you feel love for your family, emotionally? That feeling of love in your heart and when you hug them you really can feel it? I don't know how to explain it, lol. I feel like this towards God. I know I have heard to love him is to do for others, but is this form of love acceptable? To think about him, or to see a beautiful sunset, or to see any of his work he has made just moves me, and I just feel alot of love for him. How beautiful he is. I guess it's sorta like being "in love" with your first boyfriend/girlfriend. It's a silly question, but I just would like to know if this is normal. If I could only hug him.

thanks, again
Karen

 

[tcwoods91]

I love it! It seems like God is really working in your life! It is awesome that you are in love with God! That's how it should be! It is when we are most in love with God that we grow the most in Him. I can really tell that you are hungry to know God deeper and deeper and that is exciting! Keep staying hungry! As you come to know God more, you'll be amazed more and more by His greatness!

Keep pursuing Him as you have been! I guarantee it'll be the best decision you'll ever make. It won't always be easy, but the blessings will be incredible!

Your brother in Christ!

Trevor

 

[LWB]

One more thing, do you know how you feel love for your family, emotionally? That feeling of love in your heart and when you hug them you really can feel it? I don't know how to explain it, lol. I feel like this towards God. I know I have heard to love him is to do for others, but is this form of love acceptable? To think about him, or to see a beautiful sunset, or to see any of his work he has made just moves me, and I just feel alot of love for him. How beautiful he is. I guess it's sorta like being "in love" with your first boyfriend/girlfriend. It's a silly question, but I just would like to know if this is normal. If I could only hug him.

thanks, again
Karen

Yes, this is the way of the Kingdom of Heaven, to be in-love with God. To not only see God in a beautiful sunset, but to see God in your own heart and mind. To know that God is intimately involved with you, like the very breath in your lungs.

Eventually it becomes possible to see God in others. Suddenly verses like Matthew 25:37-40 and Acts 9:4-5 come alive. God comes to us in disguise all the time, and those with a pure heart will see him. See him everywhere, even in the broken and downtrodden humanity of the world.

Then you will get an angelic privilege of feeding him in his hunger, giving him drink in his thirst, clothing his nakedness, soothing his sickness, and comforting his distress. Your wish to hug him will come true.

To be in-love with God through sunset and broken humanity alike, is the essence of the Kingdom of Heaven.

 

[Lee52]

Hello,
I have been visiting this site for quite a while and decided to join. I am a new christian, almost 2 years, and I am having trouble with a couple of things. First of all I have always, (since I was little) believed in God. I read the bible to my children and tried to teach them the best that I knew. I didn't go to church and didn't totally change my life until a few years ago when I hit the bottom. I think that was my true turning point. Anyway, I have a christian sister whom I go to church with and she tried to help me with questions as much as possible. I know I am saved, I have asked to be saved and accepted Jesus as my savior and I have repented and turned away from sin that I was in before. (I know we still sin) Now I am stuck in this critical thinking that bothers me alot. At times I don't feel good enough, and I know we are not good enough and we will never be, but I judge everything I do! I am trying to please God and I am so scared to make the wrong choice. It is a awful pattern to be in and I hate it. I know we can not earn our way to heaven, why am I constantly worrying about what I am doing right or what am I doing that may be wrong. I want to relax and enjoy God, I want to stop thinking oh if I don't go next door and check on my neighbor I am bad, or if someone cuts me off in traffic and it makes me upset, Im bad, or if I decide to go shopping and spend time with hubby all day, Im selfish. Ahhh. lol. Do you see what I am saying? Is this satan trying to trick me? I know to much guilt is from him. I think this is the worst part for me. I feel like I am in a trap...ah, maybe I am. I will probably have more questions...lol, I don't have any close christian friends who can help me with some issues.

Thanks for all of your help and advise.

Karen

Sister Karen,
Read Galatians chapter 5 a couple of times. Then find Jeff VanVonderen's book; "Tired of Trying to Measure Up" and read it.

Guilt is Satan's counterfeit to GOD's conviction. Conviction brings restoration, guilt brings defeat.

If what you are feeling is not conviction to bring you closer to GOD, then rebuke it each and every time Satan presents it to you.

Be blessed,
Lee52

 

[Littlek]

Lee52,

How do I know what I am feeling is conviction and just plain old guilt from satan? I guess the guilt weighs me down and stresses me out?, the guilt that eats away at you and when you repent it just keeps on eating away and wearing you out? lol. See I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia last year and I can not work anymore due to my symptoms. Sometimes when I am fatigued or in pain, I know when satan tries to stress me out there, because I think, I'm lazy, I'm making this up, I should be pushing through a job and suffering with the pain, I shouldn't be at home taking care of myself,I HATE those thoughts, they hit me hard and make me feel bad. BUT I know God wouldn't say that to me, he wouldn't say lazy when I have a chronic pain problem or when I am fatigued and need to rest. I am learning to deal with my fibro without being on alot of meds, but I have to watch what I do, I can't overdo things, but I can't sit still either, it's a fine balance. I guess I do have guilt about having a chronic problem, and I am sure it's unhealthy guilt from satan. It may be a reason why God allowed it to happen to me. There is no cure, it's a life long problem, and it's a huge trial for me.

Thanks for your advise, and bless you,
Karen

 

[tcwoods91]

Hi Karen,

When we sin it is important to recognize the sin as such and repent and turn away from it. Satan is the voice that tries to heap on the guilt. Once you've recognized sin and asked for forgiveness God casts your sin as far as the east is from the west and remembers it no more.

"as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." Psalms 103:12

Once we have been forgiven we have no reason to hang on to the guilt and shame. We are a new creation. Certainly we aren't supposed to forget what we did, lest we fall into the same trap again, but we should not be holding onto shame and regret. Our enemy will try everything he can to get us to live in shame and regret. I hope this helps a little!

Thanks my sister!