new Christian and depressed

[kat.wan001]

I have always had faith in God and Jesus since my teenage years despite not having a Christian upbringing, but didn't attend church, pray or read the bible as often as I should have. I recently became pregnant and I knew I wanted my child to be brought up a Christian so I've started doing much more thinking and reading. I also read a book about hell - beforehand I was unsure about hell although always sure in heaven and God. To be honest, it was easier thinking that way; I can't stand to think about some of my friends and family ending up there! But then the road to salvation maybe isn't easy. I am sure I do love Christ but I'm afraid of doubt undoing what I've done. It's hard to know if I've done enough to keep my faith strong and I don't know if I can feel Jesus yet because of my next problem....

I've started to really worry about my husband and this is putting me into a deeper and deeper depression. My husband is a wonderful man and I love him dearly but he's also human and therefore subject to sin as we all are. He has faith in God, as the creator but at the moment is finding it hard to relate to Jesus. He has said he'll come to church with me, has started reading the bible and is open minded but he finds it difficult to fully accept Christ for different reasons. He says he needs the time to make the right decision and doesn't want to be pressured - he's right when he says there's no point in saying he fully believes just for me because it's what's in the heart that counts. Sounds similar to Mark's gospel about the seed falling onto shallow earth....

However, I'm absolutely desperate for him to fully accept Christ. I cannot live happily with the knowledge that he could go to hell because of this. But what else can I do? I cannot give up on him but I also don't want to turn him off further by constantly talking to him about it. He doesn't like being threatened and he's right - he should love God and Jesus for that reason only - love. It's just very hard for me to live with at the moment and I wish and pray above all else that he can share in this with me and we can continue to earnestly believe our whole lives together.

I am worried, as is he, about the affect this depression could have on our baby. I could get drugs and counselling but I ask for prayers and advice. If you have any reassuring quotations from the bible please let me know them as I am new to this.

Thank you

 

[oi_antz]

1 Corinthians 7
14For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

1 corinthians 7 - Passage Lookup - New International Version - BibleGateway.com

It is important that you don't wear an uneven yoke, so it is important that you are both learning and growing together. You should seek to find what particular hurdles your husband has for accepting Jesus, these can be destroyed by prayer and fasting and by careful use of the Bible for correction.

 

[SharonL]

Hi Kat:

First off - your husband believes - that's more than half the battle.

Next you want to show him the Joy of the Lord, not the side of worry and depression. Be bold in your faith, talk to Jesus the way you are talking to us, ask for guidance and listen for that still small voice or that tug from the Holy Spirit.

Also know that none of us can make the journey to Heaven by our good works - only believing and repentence.

The sure way to get him to make a decision is for you to stop pushing him or talking about it - just live it. If anything is said, just smile and say - the Bible says that whatsoever we ask, BELIEVING - so shall it be. Just say that I have put you in God's hands and He will work it out.

Let the JOY of your walk shine through you. The Bible tells us that Jesus is your friend and is only a heartbeat away, just talk to him, sing Praises and thank Him for bringing your husband into the light of the Kingdom.

He will come around. All he has to do is ask Jesus into his heart and repent of his sins, Jesus is waiting with open arms and smiling down on you for your desire and love manifested in worrying about your husband - but just literally in your minds eye, put him in the arms of Jesus and leave the burden there. Jesus will take care of it.

 

[Aibrean]

Once he has heard the gospel it is up to the power of the Holy Spirit to convict him and his decision to believe or reject. All you can do is pray and be a good example to him. At least he is open at this point. That is good

 

[joey_downunder]

Hi Kat, your husband is open to God. That is a massive advantage you've got there!

I pray that God gives you peace of mind and helps you to trust that God does have everything under control - no matter how hard it may appear to be. If God is strong enough to draw you to Him despite your non-christian upbringing, then surely He is strong enough to do the same for your husband?

 

[Hiroyuki]

I am worried, as is he, about the affect this depression could have on our baby. I could get drugs and counselling but I ask for prayers and advice. If you have any reassuring quotations from the bible please let me know them as I am new to this.

Thank you

It sounds like you are distorting the gospel and becoming prey to the Devil. Getting closer to Jesus, and you do not mention the actual teachings of Jesus? What, is he being judgmental and condemning like the Pharisees? Is he not going the extra mile?

"Getting closer to Jesus" is very often code phrase churches employ to actually mean "more into our cult" and not into the actual teachings of Jesus. These sorts of groups do everything wrong, and just about anything they can to be away from the teachings of Jesus -- which actually takes a lot of work. That involves basically replacing trying to be like Jesus by doing what He says with a bunch of religious appearing words and deeds that are far and contrary to the teachings of Jesus. Overt religion like the Pharisees did is very important for these groups.

If you feel you need drugs and counseling, you are far from where you need to be -- unless you are suffering PTSD or something like this. Rape, adultery, war, these sorts of traumas may require or be useful for such things. Otherwise, 'you do not need a teacher, for the anointing teaches you all things' (John, the Gospel, and second letter of John).


Beyond that, any Christian should be a worthy counselor, for they, too, should have the Counselor Spirit living in them.


As for Hell, little is said on this in Scripture, but much by churches and doctrines of men who create endless fantasies suited to their perverted imaginations. Revelation gets into this the most and states, "death and hell are thrown into the Lake of Fire". No explanation for what that means is given and contemplating on Hell is not wise to do.


When Jesus spoke of people "weeping and gnashing their teeth", He did not say forever. Even with Lazarus, He said, "you had your good things while you lived, now he has his good things" and that logic satisfied the person in Hell. It was, therefore, somehow fair.

Think about it.


Be wary of believing everything religious appearing people say just because they make great pains to be religious appearing: trumpeting their "good" deeds before everyone.


Listen to wisdom in your heart through the Spirit.

Stick to Scripture and avoid the impurity of Pharisee like religious people.


Love your husband and stop being so judgmental. If you pray once for him to be saved, saved he will be, if you believe. And why would God not save him, is God too weak to do this? God saves people. Churches and man does not save people. Salvation is solely by the Hand of God and God's hand is not "too short".


You need faith and less overt deeds and reliance on such things that require no faith at all.

 

[salida]

Pray for your husband and be an example. What makes it difficult for him to believe?
I prayed for the situation.

 

[Rick Kirkham]

I'm new to all this so I can't quote any scripture, but I have a bit of advice and a comment

No one's going to hell just because they don't accept God. He accepts you. He accepts your husband.

The best advice I was given not to let religion affect a relationship. My wife waited a long time for me to find the Lord on my own. I did, we're closer now too, but if she's have pushed me I'd have backed off.

My background is teaching and behavior modification. Throw that book on Hell away. Yes I know new guy making a second post with a new relationship to God could even get me booted out of this forum, but look to the positive about accepting God into your life, not the negative if you do not.

Just my rather strong opinion from a new guy

Rick

 

[bliz]

Pray.

Pray that God will make it clear to you when you are to speak, exactly what words you are to say and when you are to be silent.

 

[seashale76]

You can't worry and you can't push. I know this from experience. You must start focusing on your salvation. It was only when I stopped bugging my husband and worried about myself that he came around on his own- totally surprised me too.

Here are some helpful prayer resources for you (prayer is essential):
P r a y e r
Let us
Abbreviated Prayerbook
The Message of the Lord's Prayer

Some other things:
Depression
The Way into the Kingdom of Heaven

May God continue to guide you to Himself! Don't fret- pray- find a church.

 

[heymikey80]

Your care for him is more important than controlling his entry into Christianity ... right? Your cares need to be directed to God, the Only One Who can change anyone.

My Dad isn't Christian, but there's little I can do beyond care and pray. It was a big issue in my family. I know from experience it's a problem to pressure people into Christianity.

I use Romans and John to talk about the Gospel way more than other books -- doesn't mean the others aren't important, it's just some kind of American clarity in these books, particularly Romans.

 

[kat.wan001]

Thank you so much for all your replies. Really helpful. Patience and love is the key I think - if God can wait, so can I. Hubby went to his first Church service this weekend and enjoyed it - really got him thinking and he says he wants to go back! He didn't take Communion which I was actually pleased about, as he's not ready yet but will be in his own time. Much progress has been made already, along with a pretty good reason why he's been holding back, which we're dealing with as a couple. I think I need to focus on myself before being able to help someone else. Thanks again for the reassurance and advice - new to all this I guess and emotions can be kinda crazy when pregnant which doesn't help Cheers x

 

[Rick Kirkham]

Congrads on the pregnancy!

Good job not pushing the communion since he wasn't ready. I decided I wasn't going to involve myself with any rituals that didn't mean anything to me

Thus far there's two of them

The business-fellowship leader asked me if I was ready to publicly announce my new faith in God. Well I'm both a martial artist and a business person. I told him I did that when I prayed in public for the first time ever during the first meeting. I don't do things just because everyone else does.

The other one thus far is baptism. It's something that, thus far, doesn't mean anything to me. When it does, I'll do it

Rick

 

[*i*love*jesus]

I was in complete bondage to Satan for most of my life, I refused to have anything to do with God, Jesus and especially religion. I drank, fornicated, committed adultery, cut myself, tattoos, the occult, media worship, money worship, drugs, stealing, lying, abortion, disrespected my abusive parents etc....I think the only things I didn't do were rock and roll (will steal your soul) and prostitution.
Then I married the only non christian in a massive christian family...within 4 years, through my mother in law's prayers and the AWESOME power of GOD, I became a Christian! That was 4 years ago and now my husband is still not a christian, and my mother in law and i pray for him together....it will happen...

My point is, I was about as likely of becoming a Christian as transforming into a car....or something....no one could talk me into it, no one.

The power of Jesus Christ, the power of Prayer and having people in my life who I looked at and thought "hey, I'd love to be like that", were the only way.

I am also bi polar and spent a good portion of my marriage depressed....mental illness is satan trying to stop you saving yourself and your family.....stick your head in a King James Bible and Pray!!!

 

[Hand_of_Grace]

the entire 8th chapter of romans is good in your situation. also psalm 139,
collosians chapter 2, and
2Ti 1:12 for which cause also these things I suffer, but I am not ashamed, for I have known in whom I have believed, and have been persuaded that he is able that which I have committed to him to guard--to that day.

i can go on all day with scriptures for you. thing is, you need to believe in your heart despite what your body chemistry is making you think you feel.

the tounge is a rudder. a rudder on a ship can force a ship to sail against the wind. same with your toung,
when you quote the word from a believing heart.

it will force any demonic oppression to cease. it will force your body to obey your will.

it will eventually force your heart to cheer up.

only believe and constantly speak.


quote isiah chapter 53 the first 8 verses.