Ness's poems

[Ness]

Ness's poems



Anyway Today:
i am broken, i am torn,
my heart is shatered and batered,
but night and day comes anyway.

my mouth can't talk,
and my ears can't seek,
but night and day comes anyway,
anyway today.

i see no sunset or sunrise,
nor monnlight, or starts,
but night and day comes anyway,
for everyone apart from me today.

people may talk, and people may walk,
but not me, for ever and today,
but night and day comes anyway.

the pain will end for me someday soon,
and people will walk to the place i lay,
but night and day comes anyway,
comes anyway today.

emtyness in side me,
and lover of hurt and pain,
but night and day comes anyway.

no more they will see me,
no more will they hear,
but night and day comes anyway,
anyway today.

nothing i am, and nothing i will still be,
they will forget, and will not regret,
but night and day comes anyway,
for the rest of the world today.

Don't forget:
Please don't forget my love for you,
is greater than the stars and moon.

even when your life seems dark and doomed,
and your heart is trapped in the deepest tooms.

Please don't forget my love for you,
is greater than the stars and moon.

Darkness may fall, and daylight may faid,
and your mood may seem to never change.

Please don't forget my love for you,
is greater than the stars and moon.

Years will pass very fast,
if you remember i am holding on to you.

Please don't forget my love for you,
is greater than the stars and moon.

You stopped me shaking,
and stopped my heart breaking.

Please don't forget my love for you,
is greater than the stars and moon.

you saved my life from suicide,
and you can save another, with me by your side.

Please don't forget my love for you,
is greater than the stars and moon.

Not as strong:
I'm not as strong as i may look,
my heart is weakend by that one word "Love",
ever time that word is said,
my heart quivers and shivers,
and i fall into pieces.

You keep on breaking my aching heart,
I can't believe that you are doing this to me,
but even more i can't believe I'm letting you do it to me.
it makes me fill trapped and can't escape.
lost with no where to turn.

Next time i hear you say that word,
i hope you mean it,
then i can find my way out of this trap.
guided by that word you said to me,
guided by your voice i hear.

I'm falling apart,
I don't know what to do,
But should i just leave you?
or should i stay and break away?
and can't be mended by because i have gone so far astray.

can't can't go back to who i was,
i can't go back to the past,
should i live or should i die and break away today?
my heart is breaking,
breaking away today.

Why suffer, cry die?:
Why must I suffer,
Why must I cry,
all I wish is to just lay down and die.

You ask me why,
and I say why not,
I would love to die so it all ends.

To stop my crying,
to stop my heart lieing,
and to stop people trying to save whats left behind.

We all have to suffer,
we all have to cry,
we all wish at times that we could lay down to die.






all these poems are copyright protected.

 

[Ness]

Fallen Angels:
Why do angels fall from the sky,
When i cry,
They sit near by,
looking into my tear filled eyes,
watching me on the ground,
watching me die.

Why do angels fall from the sky,
life is such a lie,
they talk so i can't hear,
they walk so far,
even when i'm near,
looking into my tear filled eyes.

Why do angels fall from the sky,
when i have the want to die,
they trampel over me,
and spit on the ground of which i lay,
that will be forever,
not just for today.

Never carry happyness:
My heart is hollow with tunnels of darkness.
It clouds my sight,
and no matter how many drops i cry,
my happyness is dead,
and i don't know where it lies.
I carry so many things on my shoulders,
and feel like it is never going to end.
its ashame i could never carry happyness,
and that'll never end.

 

[Ness]

What does everyone think btw?
are they good?

 

[Quixotic the Pedestrian]

I think you have a definate ear for rhyming but in my opinion some of your poem structure is inhibiting you. I enjoy your use of inner-rhyme. You would throw a word in here from time to time and it would unexpantantly rhyme. That was nice. I think my favorite of these was Never carry happyness. The rhythm just felt better to me.

 

[Ness]

well not all poems are ment to rhym, but they just tell ppl how i'm feeling.

 

[Ness]

CLosing the door:
It doesn't mater anymore,
it doesn't matter because i'm closing the door.
leaving the light right outside,
Letting the darkness right in,
letting me sin.

No light can be found in this darkened place,
No love but hate, disguest and disgrace.

It doesn't mater anymore,
It doesn't mater because i'm closing the door.
my thoughts will be nomore,
for sin and hateride is what i bore.

 

[delicate_flower]

I can sense a bit of aggression mixed with some hopelessness in this last poem. I read the poem a few times and it seemed to me that there was something missing. Maybe you could add a bit more in the middle. You could tone the poem down a bit with a few lines of a softer appeal (feed off your hopelessness), and then you can end with the same lines as you did in the original. Or maybe you could try writing with a little more description. I always enjoy writing with a few words of imagery to help my reader understand what I'm trying to say. A bit more imagery doesn't hurt. But that's just my opinion. Other than that, I think it was pretty good.

 

[Ness]

we are in the stars and moon together

As we gaze at the sky together,
I see your reflection in the moon,
And mine in the stars,
That reminds me the world is owes.
We will stare at the stars and moon forever,
Not caring what is owe doom,
Which traps us by love in the form of bars,
Making us forever in the moon and stars.

 

[Ness]

You Left Me:

You left me,
shaking and poring out my heart,
if only you could see,
the pain i was in.

i wouldnt stop, i couldnt,
no one came,
but even more you left me,
i know i shouldnt blame.

i could of died,
just a scar left behind,
because you lied,
but i know you tried,
you shouldnt of left me.

deeper my pain went,
i cried alone,
you prayed like a love letter sent,
but you left me.

the night was long,
only one, and i had stopped,
only because the light went out,
then the knife dropped,
lost till the morning,
but you left me.

i tried in the end,
but i gave up,
it was s*tans sin,
so you told me to throw it in the bin,
but i countinued to sin,
because you left me.

i cried and cried,
but not as much as the blood on my arms.
i could have died,
because of selfharm,
but you left me.

i knew s*tan would win,
because the pain i was in,
becasue of the sin,
that s*tan may bring,
but you left me.

 

[Ness]

This is a message that jesus said,
he loves you and doesnt want to see you dead.
so drop the knife,
and keep your life.

because jesus loves you,
and wants to never leave you.
you grab the knife to ease the pain,
this is satans sin playing you once again.

tears fall from your eyes,
trying to cry out all the lies.
you go to the knife because of your fears,
but jesus wipes away your tears.

you feel as if you dont have the will,
to drop the knife and end the hole deal.
but remember this jesus is love,
he was sent from above.

you calm when the knife digs in deep,
and jesus starts to weep.
because you pick up the knife,
and want to give up your life.

he cares,
and is always there.
dont shed your blood,
jesus doesnt want you dead.