Needing some help

[Skittler]

I'm sorry if I put this in wrong topic.
A little long but please read.


Well over a year ago I met this young woman while I was working in her hometown (which is two hours from my home), she was one of the most wonderful girls that I have ever met. It seemed like she was sent from heaven, almost to good to be true. I fell deeply in love with her, then I finally worked up the courage to tell her, she also said she was in love with me, and it was a very sincere moment. After eight months I was finished working and was going back home. So my last day their, she comes to me and tells me that she has been playing with my heart and mind, I was so shocked I could not speak, it was confusing . She told me that some old feelings for her ex had popped up and that she was going to try and work them out.... She was engaged to this guy before I met her. Also she told me that I would be going away and would not get to see her and that she was going off to college anyways. During this whole time she was crying and telling me she was sorry, it seemed she did have feelings for me by the way she acted , i'm not sure... So I gave her one last hug and went on my way . Well here we are now and I think about her almost everyday, all them questions not answered still bugs me, I have so many, well what if I said this, done that etc... If I'm alone I get real depressed, so I try to get out more, but when I come back home it hits me again. I try to pray, which gives some relief for awhile but once again it comes back. Almost like a leech that will not go away........I'm not sure what else to do, any advice would be great.

Thanks

 

[Injured Soldier]

That's sad. It's a pity so much love ends in heartbreak. How do you feel about her now? Does she seem wonderful and heaven-sent after she told you she decieved you?

I hate to say this, because you seem a nice, honest fellow and this is so cliche and doesn't totally remove the pain, but focus on Jesus is what you first need to do. Did you ever think maybe you've turned this girl into an idol above God? I'm not perfect in this respect either, when I fall hard for a girl, I must admit I think about her more each day than I do Jesus. But we're supposed to be in love with Jesus too! Like the church of Ephesus, have we forsaken our first love, a perfect love for a cheap romantic love that lasts a moment?

That's the only advice I can give, because I don't know any other way I've gotten over a lost love. Sorry I can't give any better advice. I'll be praying for you wood162001, hope it all works out.

 

[Skittler]

That's sad. It's a pity so much love ends in heartbreak. How do you feel about her now? Does she seem wonderful and heaven-sent after she told you she decieved you?

Yes I still feel the same, not many people will come up and admit their faults, and I respect her for atleast telling me. I'm hurt by it, but she was a great person and we left on a good note.

I hate to say this, because you seem a nice, honest fellow and this is so cliche and doesn't totally remove the pain, but focus on Jesus is what you first need to do. Did you ever think maybe you've turned this girl into an idol above God? I'm not perfect in this respect either, when I fall hard for a girl, I must admit I think about her more each day than I do Jesus. But we're supposed to be in love with Jesus too! Like the church of Ephesus, have we forsaken our first love, a perfect love for a cheap romantic love that lasts a moment?

That's the only advice I can give, because I don't know any other way I've gotten over a lost love. Sorry I can't give any better advice. I'll be praying for you wood162001, hope it all works out.

I'm not putting her ahead of god...... money, girls, cars etc... can come and go, but in the end god is always their:crosself: I'm loving what he created, I thank him for letting me meet her, taught me alot of things about myself.. But it's still hard to get over it....

 

[Skittler]

One more thing I forgot to mention.. She wrote me a note about four months into the relationship, she said some people where telling her that I was cheating and flirting with other females etc... And that this made her confused about her feelings... well this confused me and i'm not sure if she exactly knew what she wanted. Does anyone think it's possible to fall out of love, or would you break up with someone you loved if you thought you might get hurt? I'm just so confused.

 

[Sketcher]

I'm not putting her ahead of god...... money, girls, cars etc... can come and go, but in the end god is always their:crosself: I'm loving what he created, I thank him for letting me meet her, taught me alot of things about myself.. But it's still hard to get over it....

There was a 4 month period of my life where I told myslef that and I didn't even know I was lying to myself.

I would say let her go for good. If she comes back to you, she blew her chance.

One more thing I forgot to mention.. She wrote me a note about four months into the relationship, she said some people where telling her that I was cheating and flirting with other females etc... And that this made her confused about her feelings... well this confused me and i'm not sure if she exactly knew what she wanted. Does anyone think it's possible to fall out of love, or would you break up with someone you loved if you thought you might get hurt? I'm just so confused.

She didn't trust you. It sounds like you were just infatuated with each other.

 

[Yummi]

I think that this girl was selfish, she knew that you won't stay long and played with you, wishing that you will forget her easily after. Girls like to be loved and they can sometimes cheat and get into impossible relationships just to enjoy some good feelings for a while. They sincerely hate to hurt, but can't help taking love and attention.

You better forget this girl for good, and ask God to help you. Forgive her for what she did to you, and pray for her, she needs it. God will give you a special someone who will make you happy, trust him and be patient.

 

[Jaegang72]

All I can say bro... is guard your heart with all diligence. Only time can heal your pain . Get out and socialize with youth christian group. Pray .. spend time reading bible, christian books.

The time for you is.. a time to heal.. a time to mend ( like in book of ecclestias )

Now you are wiser. Before you open up your heart emotionally and spiritually to someone intimately, pray and read the scriptures to see if the person is the right one.

Still, even though you have pain, this is a good opportunity to draw closer to God. He is good at using pain to draw people close

cheers
J

 

[jdkearns]

I fell deeply in love with her, then I finally worked up the courage to tell her...

After eight months I was finished working and was going back home. So my last day their,...

...She was engaged to this guy before I met her. Also she told me that I would be going away and would not get to see her and that she was going off to college anyways...

...well what if I said this, done that etc...
Thanks

It does sound like she was not being fair with you. Girls are very emotional and do want to be with somebody -- and you were it.

How did you fall in love with her? Were you both friends? If you were not her friend first, then how did you fall in love with someone who's character you did not know? I can understand the answer, but give that some thought.

The fact that she was ENGAGED before and flaked out of that - that's strange my friend. She's probably afraid of commitment - look at her past. Were her parents divorced? Was her father a poor example? This is a possibility for you to consider, though perhaps not relevant. That may help to piece things together.

It sounds like she has no desire to continue a relationship with you, or to restore it - making excuses for your relationship not to continue. Frankly, you do need to start dealing with it as being over and move on. As long as you hang on to it, you will find it difficult to go forward. You need to make that decision very clear to yourself. When you do, you will notice the depression lift and your life continue.

I'm very very sorry to hear what transpired from the matter.

 

[fieldmouse3]

She probably seemed sad for playing with your emotions when she confessed to you becasue she felt guilty, not because she actually WAS in love with you after all. It sounds to me like you're looking for any possible way for that to be the case. I can totally understand that, because I've been there. All you can really do it wait it out.

 

[IDOXLR8]

I am going through the same issue right now in my life. My gf and I broke up a few weeks ago. We dated for a year and a half and can honestly say that I did not love her. I say that because during my whole relationship with her I put her in front of God. About a week ago she tells me that she is getting back together with her ex-bf (father of her child). At first I was hurt and said alot of awful things to her. The last few days I have coped with the breakup and am getting back to focusing on God as my center. What has helped me alot is reading 'The Purpose Driven Life'. I also found alot of closure last night when I called her up and apologized for my actions and explained to her that she never was able to see the true me because I was not focused on God.

The one thing I can tell you from experience is that you are still young and God will introduce you to that special someone when he deems you are ready and not when you think you are ready. So in the meanwhile I would focus on building a great relationship with God and everything will fall into place.

 

[Iggster]

Dump her like a bad habit. Kick her to the curb.......Easier said than done But the Lord is more important. You are important to Him. Only time will heal the wound she caused with the double edged dagger she drove in your heart. But the Lord will bring someone to you that will make you happy, and not toy with your emotions.

 

[bubblegirl23]

I'm wondering if there is something else going on. Maybe it's something she couldn't tell you. Once I let down a guy I'd been talking to online by saying I didn't feel THAT way about him, when really I did, but felt guilty him thinking of moving to Australia and leaving college and his family in the US. Maybe there's something she feels a relationship with her would deprive you of something. Maybe she has a secret you were close to finding out?

Of course I could be letting my imagination run away with me.

BG