needing some advice

[patrice_kell]

Is sex between two people who are in love a sin if they are not married? I have friend who is not married but still sleeps with her boyfriend. They are very much in love, and she says since they already have then why stop now. She has also told me that she doesn't think it would be fair to change things on him now. She is worried that if she told him that they can't have sex anymore he will not wait for her. They love each other very much but he does not have the same beliefs that she does. I understand that it would be hard for her to leave someone that she loves so much and he does so much for her but it is a sin to have premarital sex....right? If he truely loved her then he would wait....right?

I have told her that and she says it is hard for them to be together and not sleep with on another. I don't know what to tell her. I know that she loves him and that he loves her, but I don't know how she should handle this situation. She has asked me for advice and I don't have a clue what to say to her.

Someone please give me some advice. Thank you.

 

[DixieBelle]

Kelly...
It sounds like your friend knows right from wrong and that she's maybe looking for an excuse or a way around her beliefs. I agree with you that any sex outside of marriage is wrong...I think the Bible is clear on that. She has to come to a decision about which is more important...her relationship with the guy or her relationship with God. I know too that it would be difficult for her to "change things now" in the relationship, but I guess my feeling would be, what if their relationship goes further and they end up getting married? Is he a Christian? If he doesn't respect her beliefs now and she doesn't show that SHE really believes in her beliefs by standing up for them and admitting that she was wrong when she makes a mistake, why would (or should) he respect any other beliefs in the future that she might have that he doesn't share? Did that make sense? lol...i dunno! Life is NOT just about the "here and now", you have to think longterm and about how the decisions you make today will affect your life in the future. As to why quit now? The longer it goes on the harder it is to stop, as with any sin, and every time it becomes a little easier to explain it away as "not that bad". But God is always loving and forgiving and waiting for us to be made right with Him through His love and grace and Jesus' blood. As her friend, the only thing you can really do is be there for her and encourage her to do the right thing, and of course, pray for her. I know that sounds like a cliched response, but its so very true. She's got to come to this decision on her own...your convictions won't do, she's got to have the convictions herself, really believe them, and then have the backbone to really live them too. But you can pray that God would show her the way and open her eyes to see what's really going on here, and also that He'd give her strength she's gonna need to do the right thing.

God bless!

 

[drdeancrosby]

Kelly you keep mentioning your friend's love for her boyfriend.Not one time did you mention her love for God.If she loves her boyfriend more than God,then both of them will probably spend eternity in hell because fornication is a deadly sin repeatedly identified in the Bible.This is the advice I would give your friend:A.Jesus commanded us to daily take up our cross and follow Him,not your boyfriend.B.Jesus taught us that if our right hand causes us to sin,we should cut off our right hand.

 

[GodOwnsMe]

yeah =) there's verses esp. in the letters of the NT that
say it's sin (maybe check www.bible-gateway.com
w/ keyword uh, how's that called in English again.....
fornication... something like that !)
God, please give Kelly the right words and all the wisdom she needs,
touch her friend and her bf with Your spirit and help them. In the mighty name of Jesus. Amen

I'd also say if your (I mean hers.. but in general =)) bf keeps you from God that's a very bad
thing.............. sure it's hard to give up something/someone
you love so much...............

yeah try and tell her in a loving way...... God Bless you loads

 

[Stanfi]

Based upon the authority of God's Word what your friend is doing is wrong. If she has to sleep with her boyfriend to keep him, then he really doesn't love her in my opinion. If he truly loves her and respects her, he would be abistant until marriage.

In terms of marriage, she should not be unequally yoked, but that's another topic.

 

[mesue]

If she follows God's will God will bless that. If the boyfriend chooses to leave, then so be it. But if he chooses to stay, what a testimony to the Lord! God honors those that honor Him. He will never leave her nor forsake her if she trusted Him as Savior. She will not go to hell, (all sins are deadly and separate us from God) However, 1 John 1:9 is still in the Bible and this is excellent news for those of us that stumble.

Also, maybe God has someone different in mind for her. Your girlfriend and her boyfriend are not equally yoked and this really doesn't make for a good relationship. Maybe God has something better suited for her.

 

[JillLars]

They are very much in love...She is worried that if she told him that they can't have sex anymore he will not wait for her

Regardless of the morals of this issue, this should raise some red flags. This is not love, if she has to worry about him leaving her for not having sex with him, then they do not truly love one another. If he loves her, then he will respect her beliefs and her decision not to have sex, she needs to understand that love is acceptance not pressure.