• Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.

  • CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.
  • We hope the site problems here are now solved, however, if you still have any issues, please start a ticket in Contact Us

Needing solid Christian advice...

Dawn Langehennig

New Member
Jul 10, 2015
2
1
✟30,127.00
Gender
Female
Faith
Lutheran
Marital Status
In Relationship
My boyfriend of one year cheated on me; I found out about it, he asked for my forgiveness and promised to implement change in his life. It has been 6 months now and he has with God's help, changed into the man He wants him to be. A man of integrity, faithfulness, and humility.
I love him and have forgiven him; the problem is that I struggle with trusting him again.
He wants to get married and I am not sure.
My fears regarding relapse, a lifetime of always wondering, "what if", plague me.
Any good advice out there would be much appreciated.
 

dayhiker

Mature veteran
Sep 13, 2006
15,562
5,307
MA
✟241,164.00
Gender
Male
Faith
Charismatic
Marital Status
In Relationship
Politics
US-Others
Hi Dawn,
Welcome to CF.
I think it shows real character in both of you, 1. that you forgave him and 2. that he had made this change.
Trust as you know is built over time as he remains trust worth. So I don't think you will find a magic pullet that will create it next week.

Something for you to consider - is your fear of him cheating again going to push him to be silent of future temptations so his motivation to not hurt you
might turn against him giving the temptation a stronger hold on him? You might consider a place of open communication with this topic where you are supportive
and accepting of this part of his life in a way that allows him to always come to you and talk with you about it. This I think will give both of you a place of love to
deal with this issue and not a place of fear.
 
Upvote 0