need unbiased perspective

[autumnz]

Hi. I'm new to these forums... Seems like a wonderful world, though! I'm hoping perhaps someone here can give me some insight or perspective on circumstances I'm in and how to find peace about which direction to head. Sorry this is long... I am currently meeting with an ex (6 mo. relationship a three years ago) to see about the possibility of a future with us. Totally odd that I would have even been thinking it was possible until about a month ago when I had a spiritual growth spurt and during that time had oddest thoughts about him again in a "you could serve well together" way that I thought perhaps was God planting a seed. This guy has spent the last couple of years trying to get past his feelings for me, but says he has been unable to. I am at a point where I'd love to stay friends-looking-at-the-possibility-of-more-level and explore getting to know each other again, he is aching because he wants nothing more than a life together with me. I am totally anxious about the whole thing, have been praying for peace on which direction to head. The reason our relationship ended before was because I didn't find myself falling in love with him and he wanted marriage, so out of fairness I ended it. Now I am scared I'm going to hurt him again, but I also feel that if this is God planting a seed, I don't want to disregard it because of fear or emotion. Feel like if I just stop it now his pain would be less than if we keep talking and a month or two down the road we see a roadblock. But also don't know if I'm ready to say it definately won't work. Arggh! I keep going in circles in my head about the whole thing. My friends are "too close" and want me to be happy, I want to be in the center of God's will whether I'm happy or not. It seems like it'd be easier to just hurt him quick, throw away the possibility, and keep on keeping on. But I don't necessarily feel peace about that choice either...

 

[Teal]

Personally I would go on a date or two and test teh waters. Make sure you tell him what you are thinknig so he dosent get the wrong idea. Also keep in mind if it is GODS WILL that you two end up together then you guys will be Happy, God would not put you two together to be unhappy. It also depends on the road block you see. A couple that is truly unconditionally in love will overcome any roadblock.

You said it yourself "I am currently meeting with an ex (6 mo. relationship a three years ago) to see about the possibility of a future with us."

So you yourself are thinknig this may go to a higher level. The best thing I could sudgest is to go on a date or 2. and go from there. IF you do decide to take this route go as slow as you can. It's going to be hard to cause this isnt a new relationship.

Keep Praying and the right path will reveal it self.


Hope this helps.

 

[joyinchrist]

I agree with Teal... its ok to go out and get to know him all over again... people change after so long... you never know, God could be leading you to something great! Just be totally honest with him at all times about how you are feeling

 

[Teal]

Yes omunication is key to any relationship.

 

[Warrior Poet]

Well I agree and disagree.
Dont date him just start hanging out with him on a friends-seeing-if-he-can-be-your-bestfriend kinda situation, and honest up front, tell him you arent looking into a 6 month marriage, get past the newly hanging out bliss before you start talking long term or anything serious. You have a past which can be good or bad, that is really between you two. I am guessing he is around your age, and at that point it seems like he needs to get his "things" together now, and start his life. If you werent falling in love with him then why will you now though?. Im not saying it cant happen i think it can but what has changed that you might feel differnt. I think the "God is telling me....." line is usually a significant justification, but there is another set of ears always hearing our prayers, and he has a cunning way to flip the tables on us, with our own desires. Im not saying thats the case just something to keep in mind. Like I told Teal in his thread the answer is in there, in you mind and heart already, the cirlces you are running are around your answer, not neccassarily chasing that answer.

Warrior Poet

 

[Erichero]

I've just got alarm bells ringing, like Warrior's Poet. Whatever was happening in the past didn't sound mind-blowing ... are you going to settle for the same again? Why settle for second best (without disrespect for him), when God may have something better in mind.

Also be practical - don't have unreal expectations of how things are going to change.

 

[lil_god_lova]

My mum always has put it this way, Don't go out with someone you've been out with before, unless something significant has changed. If it has then start trying with the idea mayube, if it hasn't work out why you wanna go back there ok?