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[Jesuslove70708]

Hello so this is what’s happening now

Number one I’m kind of worried right now that cause I have got to a point of numbness and on care that I feel I don’t believe in anything right now and it hurts I just wanna have my faith and belief and go back in time

yesterday I woke up I was trying to Bailey I had really bad intrusive thoughts and feelings when I woke up but I got through them and then I watched a movie that day which wasn’t bad pressure and then I went to the store which I guess was good

shut downs when I cancel my faith I will shut down that means I won’t watch TV I won’t do anything and watching a movie or something I haven’t done in a long time I guess so yeah I also will not eat really I lost some weight I was 117 pounds now I’m 94 pounds that isn’t that good

i’m kind of worried because I feel like I am given up but I still listen to my Bible every day I still try to be a Christian I am a Christian I hope I try to post every day I have no one really to talk to I just want my faith and belief back and sometimes I even doubt that



The problem I’m having I think in the beginning beginning I was scared to go to hell in the beginning when thoughts came but now I don’t feel anything I don’t know no fever no nothing completely numb all I do is sit in a little room rock back-and-forth so

I was just curious what should I do I need advice I heard some people say go to church and read the Bible I listen to it every day/play it I pray every day for sure no one and church isn’t available my social worker said I cannot go in the judge said I can’t but pretty soon I might get to go back home so I’m trying but I feel like I’m not trying hard enough I don’t know what to do I feel worried bothered I was such a good Christian and I had a question

should I try to be happy because right now I’m shutting down like I won’t watch TV I won’t do anything really other than sit in the room because I’m sad I need advice I feel like I don’t even believe that that bothers me and I’m scared that I’m not scared I’m pretty sure just please help

cause for my young age I think I was pretty good as a Christian two months ago I was fine but now look I had always blasphemous his thoughts though the normal OCD ones is
This ocd or me and Unbelief

 

[Isilwen]

All right I’m just it’s really hard I can’t be it with my family and I feel like my faith has got ripped away to go back four months ago a happy Christian with really bad OCD but happy because she knows she’s always there are used to have really bad compulsions and I was always scared to sin every time I told anyone about it and g like I would not feel my faith but fast forward to I don’t know when this first happened two weeks after I think I still had maybe one or two compulsions and I was at my wits end and I told my parents no you try to help and then I got took in personal reasons why now they can’t help you that’s why I’m on here a lot and I’m scared I’m not gonna get my faith back I was such a good Christian I was going to get baptize and I was going to everything in my power to be a best person I could I would try my best not to sin and watch anything and now I feel like I don’t care at all I have no remorse when I said I don’t care sometimes and that bothers me I don’t like it I just wanna go back in time I was such a good Christian I was going to get baptized I was spreading the gospel whenever I could I just want my faih back I don’t know if this is OCD me or something else what do you think honestly do you think I’m gonna get my faith back or do you think I’m just gonna be like this forever forever I’m just worried that I will never get it back I was try my best not to sin I will try my best to be a good person and to be a good Christian and no I feel like I don’t even believe sometimes a lot of times what’s the time I just sit in the room and cry I’m just sad The reason I’m scared that it’s not ocd no compulsions no anything but bad thoughts and when I tell someone about my bad thoughts normally they go away these they don’t I don’t know what to do i used to have blasphemous thoughts now at least and I feel like I’m too far gone

I would like to read your post, but there are no punctuations and no real sentence structure. I got through one line and had to stop.

 

[Jesuslove70708]

Ik but is that better

 

[Isilwen]

Ik but is that better

Yes and no.

Is English your native language?

 

[Jesuslove70708]

no I just use Siri and I might have dyslexia

 

[Jesuslove70708]

Yes and no.

Is English your native language?

Is that better