but dont know where to start...i feel like ive lost my ability to talk.
is anyone out there to talk to?
is anyone out there to talk to?
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need some urgent help
- Thread starter undercoveremo
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You can talk in here - but you can't talk to anyone via private messages yet, as you need 15 posts to be able to do that. But there are some wonderful, good and kind people in here who will listen if you want to talk right here. God bless you.
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im not sure where to start or how to deal with things. i have nightmares regularly and flashbacks. But i have to keep doing the daily things and am only just functioning. Sometimes i dont function at all.
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Hoping you are ok. Feel free to talk about whatever is bothering you here.
thankyou for replying
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I feel for you struggling so much. I would just start saying what you feel is safe to talk about. It sounds like you may have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder but you need a doctor to diagnose that. What do you mean by not functioning some days?
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i mean i go back to bed and stay there. I self harm sometimes. I have been diagnosed with complex PTSD yet professionals dont really help much. I cant remember lots of stuff in my day. I dont eat sometimes and exercise way too much at other times. My father was extremely sadistic amongst others.
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I understand. I have been diagnosed with chronic ptsd. I'm sorry the professionals haven't been much of a help to you. Maybe it would be better if you sought help from some other professional or a pastor or Christian counselor. Just some ideas. Your father must have been very disturbed and I wish you had had better. I too stay asleep some days and sleep on and off and feel depressed. I haven't felt like eating much today but I had some yogurt and some cottage cheese to get by. Posting here has been helpful for me and it can be for you, too. There are so many loving and kind people here. I'm glad you are reaching out here.
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You are not alone. I and many others here have been down that road but there is so much hope for you. You may feel helpless but just trying to get through one day at a time helps sometimes. Can you try to imagine how you would like your life to be?
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thanks for the ideas RuthD. i have tried pastors in the past but it was a cultish church so i left. my father did everything to me like rape and torture techniques. he is dead now but i feel like i should be too. Suicide seems like a much needed escape from constant bad stuff.
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That's absolutely horrible what your father did. My grandfather did the same to me. Are you on any medications? They have helped me a lot and I thought I was so hopeless. It took awhile to find the right medicines but I feel a lot better.
Besides death, how do you imagine being free would be?
Besides death, how do you imagine being free would be?
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i have tried many medications with little success. They helped for a bit then didnt. I use pills to overdose sometimes which seems (at the time) to be the best option. My father did the same things to a couple of my other siblings, one of which suicided. I dont feel like i can function in ''normal'' life when all I knew was being hurt, deprived of stuff (food, water etc), restrained and repetitive rape from a young age. Normal life seems to not be real at all.
Being free would mean no nightmares, no fear, no memories.
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and being free would mean no more intrusive thoughts of self harm....i so want things to be different...
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There is plenty of hope for you to have things be different. It may not seem like it now but you can have a better future. Are there any support groups in your area? The local Rape Crisis Center can help with one on one therapy and group therapy if you want that, too. I went there and it helped me a lot. You can keep going there too and it doesn't cost anything. At least it did not cost here. You deserve all good things! I hope you will keep posting here and saying what's happening with you. I am praying for you and look forward to your posts. God bless you!
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