I had a falling out with my best friend. I said some things I regret. I didn't say anything vindictive or purposely insulting, but I told him things about himself that were true, yet very cold and un-loving. He responded defensively and with insults of his own. I refused to speak to him, I just wanted to bury my head in the sand and make him disappear. He left several text and voicemail messages, some bitter, some hurt, some insulting, all of which went unanswered. In his last message he told me that he was letting this situation (my not talking to him) tear him apart, he didn't know what was wrong with me, or what he had done but he was never going to contact me again, since that is clearly what I wanted. I felt terrible at that moment. It's not really that I want to have contact with him; the friendship had just ceased to be a positive thing and was running me into the ground emotionally and physically. But I realize that I should have been walking in love and trying to make amends. Even though sincerely saying sorry and asking for foregiveness doesn't mean we could restore the friendship, at least, for my part, I wouldn't be parting in anger or bitterness. Instead I was stubborn, and now I have what I want (which is not to have contact with him) but I'm miserable. I hurt someone with my cold silence and stubborness, I should have seen through his anger and defensiveness and saw the hurt that my words had caused. Now it seems too late, or lame, or whatever. Maybe I still have too much pride. Please pray for me to know what to do.
