i was sexually molested by my uncle thru my whole childhood... i dont remember when it started but my earliest memories are when i was 2 and in those memories he is touching me so i know it had started by then. it ended when i was about 10 and my family moved out of the area so they couldnt get to me anymore. the whole experience has given me so much emotional pain that since i was a child i have been struglling with depression and anxiousness. when i was 14 i started doing drugs to dull everything out. then one night i was raped at a party. there were two of them who did it. that sort of changed everything because i realized that if i hadnt been tripping on drugs then maybe it would not have happened. i would have been more alert and i would have known what they were doing when they took me to a bedroom and if i hadnt been half out of it then i could have fought back or something and not just lie there. and then a few weeks later i found out im pregnant. so i knew that i had to get myself on a good path or the way i was going maybe i wouldnt even be here in a few years. my parents r strong catholics and they sent me to a catholic support group who help support me. thanks to their encouragement i have managed to stop the drugs and the "self destructive behaviour" (thats what they call it anyway) and help me start to feel normal. i also found a great boyfriend at the group who is so wonderful and i am thankful for him every moment. they talk about god and jesus and how they can help get you thru things but most of the time i dont feel like they are there. i feel like i have needed god all my life and he has never been there for me. so i am still struggling with my life and my faith and i need some advice from ppl who have gone thru the same things as well because in my heart i feel like i will always be a mess just like i have been. how do ppl get their faith back and heal?
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need some guidance
- Thread starter DoesGodHear
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Heya DoesGodHear,
My names Icarus, good to meet ya.
Firstly, i wanna say that im really, really sorry for everything that happened to you.
you didnt deserve that.
Second, to answer your question... Healing after this sort of abuse can take a long time. It's not an easy road, but it can be done. First thing to do, and this is often the hardest, is to forgive the people. It sounds stupid, and its natural to want someone to attack for this, but thats what the best, first thing is to do. Once you start to forgive someone, then the rest of things follow.
Find a church that you really, really love. One that you enjoy being at, one that you can worship at, one that you can be yourself at and that the people there love you for. It'll build you up and get you some support in your walk with Christ.
Ditch the group of friends in the partying and drug scenes, and this will make things a lot easier to cope also.
Find someone that you trust no matter what, and talk to them about everything that you have gone through. This means the abuse, the rape, the pregnancy, everything. Make sure that you are ok to talk to them though - sometimes people cant deal with this stuff.
Pray. This is perhaps the biggest step in recovering your faith - taking a step and giving God room to move, because when you dont give Him room to move, He wont.
Finally, just press into God. And if you ever need to talk, then send me a PM.
God bless,
Icarus
My names Icarus, good to meet ya.
Firstly, i wanna say that im really, really sorry for everything that happened to you.
you didnt deserve that.Second, to answer your question... Healing after this sort of abuse can take a long time. It's not an easy road, but it can be done. First thing to do, and this is often the hardest, is to forgive the people. It sounds stupid, and its natural to want someone to attack for this, but thats what the best, first thing is to do. Once you start to forgive someone, then the rest of things follow.
Find a church that you really, really love. One that you enjoy being at, one that you can worship at, one that you can be yourself at and that the people there love you for. It'll build you up and get you some support in your walk with Christ.
Ditch the group of friends in the partying and drug scenes, and this will make things a lot easier to cope also.
Find someone that you trust no matter what, and talk to them about everything that you have gone through. This means the abuse, the rape, the pregnancy, everything. Make sure that you are ok to talk to them though - sometimes people cant deal with this stuff.
Pray. This is perhaps the biggest step in recovering your faith - taking a step and giving God room to move, because when you dont give Him room to move, He wont.
Finally, just press into God. And if you ever need to talk, then send me a PM.
God bless,
Icarus
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Aw hon, that's a wonderful handle you have there. And yes, dearone He does hear. He feels every tear you drop. He feels every pain you have, physically, emotionally and mentally. Call out to Him. Scream out to Him. Ask Him to reveal Himself. He is eager for you to call on Him. For He loves you despite the pain you have caused Him because you are His child and He wants to save you from yourself. The very fact that you are asking is the first step. And sometimes, right at first He has to reveal Himself through His people, because you couldn't stand it any other way.
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U
UnitynLove
Guest
Please listen to this
YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.
If you need help to forgive yourself, others that have hurts you, and God I will help you. Just pm me. God bless sister!
YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.
If you need help to forgive yourself, others that have hurts you, and God I will help you. Just pm me. God bless sister!
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Its always a journey to move on from abuse. abuse affects you deeply in many ways and that needs unravelling, which is why another person can be so helpful. You also need support when some real hurt surfaces. Are you able to get some counselling?
John
NZ
John
NZ
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I'm sorry you went through all that, sweetie.
You are doing incredibly well, you've already taken some huge steps in recovery, and you have a lot to be proud of. It's a process, it takes time to recover, so be gentle with yourself and give yourself the time and space you need. Do you have someone you can talk to? It sounds as though your boyfriend and your support group are great.
Yes, God does hear. And your doubts are normal and natural. God hears, and He's big enough to take it, and to love you through it all. I spent a long time shouting at God, blaming Him for letting me be abused, telling Him I hated Him. And He never stopped loving me, even when I was at my lowest points.
And gradually I learnt to love Him, to realise that He was with me in the worst times, and He is still with me now.
Keep talking to Him, sweetie.
I'm praying for you.
You are doing incredibly well, you've already taken some huge steps in recovery, and you have a lot to be proud of. It's a process, it takes time to recover, so be gentle with yourself and give yourself the time and space you need. Do you have someone you can talk to? It sounds as though your boyfriend and your support group are great.
Yes, God does hear. And your doubts are normal and natural. God hears, and He's big enough to take it, and to love you through it all. I spent a long time shouting at God, blaming Him for letting me be abused, telling Him I hated Him. And He never stopped loving me, even when I was at my lowest points.
And gradually I learnt to love Him, to realise that He was with me in the worst times, and He is still with me now.
Keep talking to Him, sweetie.
I'm praying for you.
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Sarah, If I ever make it to England, I really would love for my family to meet yours. Based on what I read here, you and your whole family are some really good kind of people to know.
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thanks to the ppl who replied (and to the ppl who sent me supportive private messages, sorry i cant respond bcuz i dont have enough forum posts). tbh the main reason i wrote this was to rant and unload my feelings because thats not something i can do in real life and and it was really helpful to be able to do that here and the kind responses really made me feel better about myself bcuz honestly the reactions i always think i will get if i say something is mostly disgust n repulsion. i cant trust in my parents or my friends but ppl here i can trust. thank you so much.
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DGH, a lot of us have been where you are now, and others can relate because of relatives with similar problems.
In my case is was all kinds of abuse with the sexual component being an attempted addition when I was about 9 or 10 by my older sibling and the parents not wanting to know. I'm 51 now and just in the last couple of years getting good after finally getting some therapeutic help.
In my case is was all kinds of abuse with the sexual component being an attempted addition when I was about 9 or 10 by my older sibling and the parents not wanting to know. I'm 51 now and just in the last couple of years getting good after finally getting some therapeutic help.
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They didn't want to. And the slime threatened my life. Remember this was back in the 60's and 70's. Things like this weren't talked about then. And later they got really uncomfortable and wouldn't let it be discussed. I learned to dissociate early on. I survived but it twisted me into a hypervigilant dad, and one who was very rigid in my attitudes and actions. 'Fraid I would break into a million pieces if I wasn't careful.
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