Need some advice

[~I Love God~]

hello everyone,
I have a boyfriend who is a Christian and we share the same believes and everything. but the thing is that he has had relationships in the past where he did things with them. I just don't want a relationship where it's all physical, cause I'm not like that at all. So I don't know what to do. Please help!

God Bless,​

Angela​

 

[silentpoet]

Set clear limits, and don't put yourself in a position where either of you may be tempted to act in a sinful manner.

 

[wayfaring man]

Greetings ,

Be clear and firm to him on where you draw the line , state your Biblical reasons , as well as your personal ones .

If he tries to cross the line , remind him of the Biblical resaons for not doing so . If he doesn't heed those reasons , he's not being Christian , and you should kindly ( if possible ) break away from him .

wm

 

[fishstix]

Make your boundaries clear right from the start. And don't let him push you to go past your boundaries. If he does, then back away from the relationship and if necessary break it off completely. You can help him not to push the boundaries by avoiding being completely alone (eg. don't hang out watching tv when no one else is at home and don't go park somewhere private to watch the sunset) Instead, spend your time together where there are other people around - go for supper in a restaurant, go bowling, that kind of stuff. Also watch the way you dress and act around him. Those are all good things to do in any boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.

 

[JVD]

Make it very clear right from the start. If he tries to cross the line...he's not the one for you.

 

[bubblegirl23]

Make it clear. Don't worry, and give him a chance. Sex isn't like falling over - it can't JUST happen. You know you don't want to and your instincts & God will tell you if things get too heavy.

 

[Lyle]

It's easy.. As they would say with John Wayne.. Lay down the law. Make it clear what will and will not be done.. But be sure to always listen. In this case there isn't much rom for it, but don't grow to hard to listen to his side as well, in other cases..

 

[rogsr]

Maybe you could begin by explaining to your boyfriend the many adverse consequences of having sex before marrige....

What would you do if you got pregnant? As they say, "you've got options."

You could keep the child, but your lives would probably be stalled for a long time.
You could terminate the pregnancy, but be prepared for the many complications that come along with it. Like guilt and the possibility of not being able to have any more children. You could give the child up for adoption, but haven't you heard any news stories about children in foster homes being beaten and hurt? You could dump the child off on your parents, but is that really fair?

See, really the only mature decision to make is abstinence, not because sex is fun but because having children before you are ready only leads to suffering for you, your lover, and your unborn child.

......Maybe if you explain things he will see clearly like you seem to see.

Peace-

 

[LegomasterJC]

Do you know if he has repented from those things and decided to go the right way in a relationship or not?

 

[skeetercts]

As someone just said, He could have actually changed. It does happen where someone can become a christian and leave the old life behind. Also, tell him that it is bothering you. The thing is, if he loves you and truely cares about you, he will repect your limits you set.

God bless

 

[Rage4Christ]

Relationships are physical. It is perfectly healthy to have a physical aspect to a relationship. If you're not into the "physical" aspect of the relationship-- you're simply not ready for a relationship.

I'm not saying you can't have boundaries.

But, clue into reality. Boys have hormones. They are Boys. If you are uncomfortable with your own spirituality and sexuality, then you shouldn't put yourself in a situation with a Boy who has little to no control of his own biology.

Sexuality is not bad, its nothing to be ashamed of. But it is something you should treat responsibly. From the tone of your post, I sense you are not at all close enough, responsible enough or mature enough to handle the sexual aspects of a relationship-- and therefore, until you mature, grow, pray and reflect-- you shouldn't have a relationship.

Of course pre-marital sex is considered sinful by many. I'm not advocating that. I'm saying-- if you want a relationship, remember that there is a physical aspect of it, and it does play a part. It may not be out and out sex. you need to be mature enough to know your boundaries.

 

[IDS]

What Is Love?


Love isn't something you take
or a game you play
Love is who is left when
others walk away


Love isn't about myself
and what you can give me
Love is when I value you
and treat you tenderly


Love isn't lust
and runaway passion
Love is intimacy
and heartfelt compassion


Love doesn't leap
without a parachute
Love moves slowly
and often is mute


Love isn't science
or chemistry
Nor is it a novel
or mystery


Love fulfills
and sets you free
without the pressure
of sexual expectancy


Love is about you
and who you are
Not what you have
and if you will go "far"


Users are losers
pretending to be winners
Too often "true love"
is camoflauged sinners


Love will respect
honor and cherish
Love never demands
your dignity perish


Love values you
and what you feel
Love never negotiates
for the "best deal"


Love is a seed
planted in two hearts
Tended by GOD
the journey starts



.....peace.....



For this cause shall a man leave his mother and father and cleave (hold on no matter what) to his wife and the two will become one.


Little boys are the center of attention in their mom and dad's eyes. Everything revolves around them. A man is not ready to seriously commit to a relationship until he realizes that it is not all about him. Until he understands this his desires will focus on his "needs" instead of intimacy (true intimacy).


Ask to count your boyfriends fingers.


If I am cleaning a gun and accidentally shoot off a finger...that is an accident. If I am unable to to clean my gun because I have no fingers...that is carelessness. GOD's grace is sufficient. Grace unused is mercy abused.


If boyfriend has truly repented of past sin he will welcome your desire for purity and will treat you with respect and honor. If not you will either be an ex-girlfriend or his next "indiscretion". Do you honestly want to be in a relationship with someone who loves themself more than GOD...or you?


.....peace.....

 

[fishstix]

Sexuality is not bad, its nothing to be ashamed of. But it is something you should treat responsibly.

And expressions of sexuality beyond hugging and light kissing are something that should be reserved for marriage. If it's basically foreplay it has no place in an unmarried relationship.

 

[LegomasterJC]

That's the same thing I thought was missing from that post... Got here too late. Props to Fishstix