Need some Advice.

[Tiredknight]

First Time I have ever come to a online forum for advice. I feel though I need to hear the thoughts of others before I even consider moving forward.

I am a 28 year old Married man, no kids yet. My wife and I got married this past April. I have a good job. my wife has an OK job. Though she hates it and wants to get away from it.

My job pays ok, But not spectacular. I am sure a lot of people can Identify with that. some might even get on here and tell me that they would be happy with a job that even paid bad. And I get that. I understand that jobs are hard to come by and in this day and age we need to be thankful for what we do have. The bible says "For we brought nothing in to this world, and we can take nothing out, but with food and rainment we shall be content." and I breath that prayer day in and day out.

Lately though I feel this constant struggle of money. I know that marriage int he first years is hard and I should not expect it to be easy street, but my Wife and I just seem to be squeaking by on above minimum wage jobs. WE try to cut down and we try not to spend crazy. We try to watch our money and we are conscious of our failures and move towards not repeating them. We understand that our "bills" are sometimes our own fault and there are things we can live with out and try to cut those out. But sometimes that does not just seem enough. I feel like we can not get a break. Sometimes, and I know my value as a man is not in my job, I feel like I am failing my wife, because she has to work, or that she can not go out and get the things she wants. I want to provide a good home and I want her to have a good life. I feel that it is my responsibility to work and work Hard( I fail at that sometimes I get lazy at work) I sacrafice a lot of what I want and I feel that she sacrafices a lot of what she wants. But I want her to have what she wants and I want to provide that for her.

So here is where I need advice. My job, is ran by a good christian man. MY co-workers are good christian people. There is nothing wrong with my job. I always wonder in the back of my mind, when does my good job and my loyalty to my good job, no longer supersede the need to provide for my family? is ever right to look for another job, even though my current job and boss is good to me? I love my job, but I love my family and I see us struggling. Probably because of our own doing, but I am torn.

as a christian is it right to take our family as top priority, change jobs for the better of my family, even though my current job is good, and they have invested a lot into my life. And I do not have a better job yet, I am just trying to work out if this feeling I have is a Godly feeling or if the devil is trying to keep me down and play to my earthly side of manhood and pride.

 

[trentlogain2]

yes, as a Christian it should be your top priority to take care of your family. if it means switching jobs or bettering yourself some way in order to make more money, then do it. if your boss is a Christian and has you and your wife's best interest in mind then he will understand.

 

[Inkachu]

I answered this in the "Advice" section...

 

[Autumnleaf]

Money is one of those things that some people need more of whenever they earn more of it. If your wife has a place to live and food to eat then you are providing. If she has hungry eyes then more money will not solve it for long.

 

[Faith In God]

Top priority is to provide for your family.
If you find another job that serves this function better, then take it graciously and thank your current place of employment for being a wonderful place to work.

 

[Doctor Strangelove]

I take it you don't have an option of pay raises or a promotion opportunity leading to a pay raise at your current job. You could ask for a raise if you have a good work history with them. Maybe if you have a good relationship with your boss, ask what you could do to earn a raise or promotion. Of course ask in the spirit of "what can I do to be more useful?" and not with an attitude of entitlement. But have a very good look before you leap. You don't want to go somewhere and find that while the pay is better, there are things about how the new place is run that you don't like. Don't feel guilty about looking for another job. As long as you aren't stealing trade secrets or whatever you are not being disloyal or bad to try and get more money. It does not sound like it is this way at your company but I have in the past experienced places that demand complete loyalty even as they plan to get rid of a certain number of people and the same dumb managers complain about how their employees are disloyal as the best ones leave for another job as fast as they can.

 

[Unix]

I have been married many years ago. The best thing to do in that situation, is to think hard on what You need, and also cut down on some of the amusement expenses.
My invoices, other than the rent, are currently ~$80 a month. Until March 2013 it was ~$38 a month, but one of the things that happened was that my desk phone line subscription went up from $0 a month.
I'm going to join yet another Christian peace-organization very soon, and unless I quit paying the small amount of money to the first peace-organization (a non-Christian one) my monthly invoices will go up to ~$91 a month.
Among my monthly costs are an accident insurance.

You should look both at the large monthly expenses, and also try to cut down on the small things You pay for either each month or cash. I know it's not a fun thing to do when newly married, but You should be saving money for the future or something.

One thing I've noticed (speaking in general as I don't know the first thing about Your expenses) is that people spend quite a lot on entertainment electronics, such as TV:s, stereos, tablets, smartphones. I have three computers and two tablets. I got one of the tablets for free. I don't pay anything for internet connection and don't surf with the tablets. The internet connection is the slowest part - but it wouldn't need to be much faster. I have never had a TV or stereo. Sounds really boring, right? Well then we are quite different as I don't find it boring at all.

I have spent a lot on books, but I'm harshly cutting down on that from 2014 and onwards.

Not all of my expenses are low. My rent is quite high considering that I live alone. The apartment is large (for just 1 person) and I live in a City area. The largest City area in this country of 9 million inhabitants. In the rent I include the small warm garage space which is $26½ a month, it's not enough space for a car and I currently don't have a car. I'm saving to be able to buy a car many years from now - that's probably how long time it's going to take. My 1st priority will be to use the car for going to Church. Using commuter traffic I would have to start 1½ hours before the Mass starts on Sundays, to arrive well in time to Church by bus, and it would take at least 1 hour 10 minutes back home. I can't stand the distance so currently I'm not attending Churches almost at all. There's also VERY few Churches to select from without a car, and not many with a car. The car will have a top-speed of 20 MPH, but even so it will take just ½ hour to that Church which I was talking about (which is in a neighbouring suburb), and 50 minutes to the central City. I would enjoy driving. Even though it's not much faster to the central City I would really prefer such a car as I find it very tedious forsooth, to always use the bus and commuter train or bus and metro/underground.

I've lived in towns or very distant suburbs most of my life, so I will never get fully accustomed to City living:

I have a good job. my wife has an OK job. Though she hates it and wants to get away from it.

My job pays ok, But not spectacular.
[...]
Lately though I feel this constant struggle of money. I know that marriage int he first years is hard and I should not expect it to be easy street, but my Wife and I just seem to be squeaking by on above minimum wage jobs. WE try to cut down and we try not to spend crazy. We try to watch our money and we are conscious of our failures and move towards not repeating them. We understand that our "bills" are sometimes our own fault and there are things we can live with out and try to cut those out. But sometimes that does not just seem enough. I feel like we can not get a break. Sometimes, and I know my value as a man is not in my job, I feel like I am failing my wife, because she has to work, or that she can not go out and get the things she wants. I want to provide a good home and I want her to have a good life. I feel that it is my responsibility to work and work Hard( I fail at that sometimes I get lazy at work) I sacrafice a lot of what I want and I feel that she sacrafices a lot of what she wants. But I want her to have what she wants and I want to provide that for her.

 

[Thunder Peel]

Your family comes first. The job market is tough and extremely competitive right now, meaning if your boss doesn't pay you enough to adequately care for your family then you have every right to look somewhere else.

I'm in the same boat so I understand how you feel. My job is decent and the pay's alright but it's less than what I would prefer. I'm looking for more work on the side or another job altogether and there's nothing wrong with that. My family comes first and as leaders of our households we have an obligation to ensure our wives and children are provided for. If they choose to work then that's fine but it's always nice to give them the option to do what they want.

 

[Gracelands]

wow