Need some advice

[coyote24mn]

Hi all, I'm new here and looking to get some advice/opinions about a certain situation.

A little background - I have dated a strong christian girl for almost 3 years now. She has helped me along the way and taken me from kind of a lukewarm christian and made me much stronger in my faith. We had every intention of growing in our faith together, however as I became busier our spiritual lives suffered. She is going to YWAM for 6 months or so and is actively seeking God's will in her life. While i was sad to hear she was going to be away, I supported her in her decision.

Yesterday she broke things off with me because she feels like in order to seek out what God wants for her she must not be distracted by me. When I asked her about what was going to happen when she came back from her missions, she just said that we'll have to leave it up to God.

I'm very hurt and broken right now, but really want to do the right thing. While it kills me to see her go, I understand what she is searching for. I want to give her the space she needs, but it's really hard because she has been the one I've gone to with problems for years.

So my question: What is the best approach to the situation? Give her the space and deal with my problems somewhere else? Continue to be best friends with her but not "hinder" her or distract her from her focus?

Any ideas or suggestions are welcome. Thank you all!

 

[waxlion10]

I honestly think, as much as it's going to hurt, the best approach to the situation is to leave it be and let it rest I know that's so difficult, but if she honestly feels like your relationship is a distraction from God, I'm not sure if you guys should even try to be friends, especially with this hurt so fresh and new.

Use this as a time to figure out who YOU are, in Christ, without a girlfriend. This can be a great time of growing. If God has someone else in mind for you, this experience will make you a better man for that woman.

 

[coyote24mn]

Thank you waxlion, that's definitely what I needed to hear. And I think this can be a great time for growing too. I appreciate the advice!

 

[Luther073082]

Yes you need to let it go, no point in fighting it.

When you feel emotionally ready I would go out and start looking to date again with another strong Christian. You have no reason to wait up for her and it would be a waste of your time.

Also everyone gets busy, thats modern life. But remember, you make time for what is important to you. In this free country every time committment you make is completly voluntary. Some are a necessity but they are voluntary none the less. If you are so busy that you can't find the time for your spiritual life then you need to find some stuff to cut out of your life. Otherwise you will go right back to being lukewarm again.

 

[unkern]

I know how your feeling bro, because I dated a girl for 2 years and all of a sudden she just broke it off, by the time I finally got ahold of her she told me the Lord told her to.

Im married now, to a different woman of coarse. My advice to you is to move on, not many people show that they are willing to make the sacrifice that marriage takes. The bible tells us that the woman was created for the man as a helper, the first command that we were given is to be fruitful and multiply. When they ate of the fruit, the Lord told the woman that her desire will always be for the man.

You need to find a wife, dont waste your time on girlfriends or even women that are meant for another man.

 

[Luther073082]

I've had times where I felt like God was speaking to me. . . but call me faithless if you want, I'm very skeptical about people who end romantic relationships because "God told them to"

Now I do belive in people who have prayed to God at the start of a relationship to show them if that person isn't right for them. And then soon after, some deal breaker will become very apparent. But to get up and say "I'm breaking up with you because God told me to." I have a hard time believing that.

 

[Denali25]

Im sad to say it... but you should just let it go. There isnt much you can, nor should do in this situation. Your ex has been with you a long time and the truth is that people change. Look at this as an opportunity to grow closer to christ in your time of need. Take heart, this may be the close of one wonderful season in your life, but it is also the beggining of a season that may prove to be more beautiful than any you have ever experienced. Whether or not that's the case depends mostly on you.

 

[BRISH]

Hi all, I'm new here and looking to get some advice/opinions about a certain situation.

A little background - I have dated a strong christian girl for almost 3 years now. She has helped me along the way and taken me from kind of a lukewarm christian and made me much stronger in my faith. We had every intention of growing in our faith together, however as I became busier our spiritual lives suffered. She is going to YWAM for 6 months or so and is actively seeking God's will in her life. While i was sad to hear she was going to be away, I supported her in her decision.

Yesterday she broke things off with me because she feels like in order to seek out what God wants for her she must not be distracted by me. When I asked her about what was going to happen when she came back from her missions, she just said that we'll have to leave it up to God.

I'm very hurt and broken right now, but really want to do the right thing. While it kills me to see her go, I understand what she is searching for. I want to give her the space she needs, but it's really hard because she has been the one I've gone to with problems for years.

So my question: What is the best approach to the situation? Give her the space and deal with my problems somewhere else? Continue to be best friends with her but not "hinder" her or distract her from her focus?

Any ideas or suggestions are welcome. Thank you all!

What a tough situation and unfortunately I can relate. I guess "unfortunate" depends on your perspective though. I see it as a blessing beyond words about most of it.


All I can say is from my own experience. Real love is wanting that person to be happy and intune with God, no matter what the outcome. We have our wishes, but learning to "let go and let God" has been my best answer to myself. Continue to pray that what is meant to be, be at the forefront and for peace, strength, and wisdom. Continue to grow in your relationship with God during this time as in any other time and that your paths be clear to each as it is revealed.

God Bless

 

[coyote24mn]

This thread has been very helpful thus far. One thing that really stuck out to me was when Luther made the point that busyness isn't forced upon us, however we voluntarily commit to the things we do. Also, we make time for what is important. This has really helped me to cut back things that really aren't all that important, and have time set aside to read the bible, worship, etc. There is a great joy and peace that has taken hold of me knowing that God has a plan for my life, and this is just a part of it. I admit it's pretty tough even a month later now, but I see this as a growing opportunity to really get myself right with God. Thank you to everyone who poured out their wisdom for me!