Need some advice:

[Momma2H]

Hello. I'm not a substance abuser by any means, but I basically grew up w/ a parent (my stepmom) who was and still is and I have been out on my own for over 5 years now. My issue now is that my stepmom is still abusing substances and my dad is just letting it happen. He has let it happen for a really long time now, and it's affecting my 16 year old brother in a very negative way. I had basically "disowned" my family after I got married b/c of a lot of problems w/ my stepmom growing up including the drugs. Well, I've slowly been trying to get back in touch and build relationships with my younger brothers b/c afterall, they are innocent and couldn't control what their mother was doing and I felt convicted about not being in their lives. So, I have a question, what should I do about my youngest brother's home life? My parents have let 2 strangers move into the house b/c they are the suppliers of the substance my stepmom uses and that's how they are paying rent, with the drug. My brother got kicked out of his own room so that these people could have a place to stay. Like I said, he's 16 so he can't exactly just move out yet. He's contemplated dropping out of high school which would be a horrible mistake IMO, but neither of our parents seem to give a hoot about his education. I want to help him because that house is such a bad environment for him and plus my stepsister also lives there and will be having a baby soon. The house is unsanitary, on top of there being drugs in the house. Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I just have no idea where to begin in helping my brother. Thanks in advance!

 

[BlessEwe]

https://egov.azdes.gov/CMSInternet/main.aspx?menu=154&id=2030

Call a hotline to talk to the people who deal with this type of crisis.

This does sound to me like your brother is in a bad situation, and perhaps God is tugging at you to reach out to him. Please let us know what is going on.

 

[BelindaP]

Is there any chance you would be in a position to take in your brother? He needs to be removed from the situation. Pray about it and then suggest it to your family. It is possible that your mother will find your brother 'in the way', and as sad as that is, it would provide an opportunity for you to pull him away from the situation he's in.

 

[faithful follower]

Your brother needs to be moved out of that house! If you cannot take him, call the Child Protection agency in your area and have them remove him. I am praying for your family.

 

[shye]

yeah what belinda said, see if your brother can move in with you till he can live on his own

 

[Momma2H]

Well, my sister was willing to take him in for sure, but my brother decided that he didn't want us to take action b/c he didn't want my dad to get in trouble (even though my dad DOES deserve to get in trouble). I just think he's too young to really understand how my dad's contributing to the problem by letting my stepmom continue to do the drugs and he also agreed to let the dealers move in too. It wasn't just my stepmom... but anyway, I'm kind of torn on what to do now. I ended up writing my dad and stepmom and telling that if they don't clean up their act soon, I'd be calling authorities, but that did nothing and my bro said he didn't want me to. So, I just wrote them back saying that I don't want any contact w/ them anymore b/c I don't agree w/ their lifestyles and I'm sickened by what they are putting my brother through. I still feel like I should call somebody on them, but at the same time, I feel like I just don't want to be involved anymore at all. I'll just keep praying about it and see what God wants me to do.

Thanks everyone for your advice.

 

[BelindaP]

Your parents won't get into trouble if your brother stays with your sister. All they need to do is sign a letter stating that they are giving guardianship of the boy over to your sister so that she is empowered to make any medical decisions and what-not for him. Nobody has to know about the drug problems.

It is better to get him away without threatening them with any kind of action if at all possible. It will preserve relationships in case they ever get their act together.

 

[Momma2H]

well, the thing is, my parents WON'T let him move in with my sister. he visited her for 2 weeks (since he was thinking about dropping out of high school anyway) and when he had to go home, he was sad and wanted to go back w/ our sister but my stepmom wouldn't let him. even though she's always under the influence of drugs, she still wants to be in control. he would just be sitting there at home doing nothing and she'd prob not say one word to him all day, but the minute he wants to go somewhere else, she acts like she cares. it's ridiculous, I just wish my brother would see that. oh and I forgot to mention that my sister actually lives 3 and a half hours away from us. I don't think my husband would want us to take my brother in honestly only b/c he doesn't want to get involved. so there really aren't many options here for me to choose from considering all the issues in the situation. thanks again for the advice!

 

[BelindaP]

Your best bet at this point is to remain in his life as much as possible. You'll have to be careful so they don't think you are trying to take over. But, you are the one positive influence in his life, so you need to be there for him. Since he's in high school, he doesn't have too many years to go. And, as soon as he turns 18, he can make his own choices. At that point, he will be able to move in with your sister. If there is a community college nearby, so much the better. He can use that as an excuse for why he needs to live with her.

And, of course, bathe him in prayer, constant and never-ending prayer.