Need some advice

[Ornela]

I got married in march and I haven't been on any kind of birth control or anything, after the first few times that we had sex something happened and I tore the wall of the vagina in two places so the doctors had to stitch me up, anyways, I recently had a pelvic exam and I was tested for UTI and for a few STD's even though that was completely unnecessary because I know that I don't have one, I've only had sex with my husband and vice versa. Anyways all those tests came back negative. My cycle varies from 28-35,36 days. Like some months it is 28 days for some months is 35 days.

I desperately want a baby and it is not happening which makes me think something is wrong with us. I'd like to know what should I do to get pregnant. Do I need to see a doc and what kind of tests should I take to determine if I am fertile or not. Are they expensive?

 

[lovesdolphins]

Honey... I know the desire to get pregnant is VERY strong - believe me I KNOW. We are getting close to 3 years trying... it's HARD. But, per your other post, I'm not sure that trying to get pregnant is the best idea at this point... obviously I don't know your entire situation, but the fact that you don't have insurance, and are on unemployment just raise red flags for me. Plus, you are still quite young and have plenty of time to get your life in order before bringing a child into the world. What if your child were sick and you didn't have insurance?

Again - please understand that I KNOW the desire to want a baby.

 

[lovesdolphins]

Oh... and 25-36 days is not really irregular. An irregular cycle would be like 20 days and then 60 or 90 days. Some women have cycles close to 100 days with PCOS.

 

[Ornela]

Honey... I know the desire to get pregnant is VERY strong - believe me I KNOW. We are getting close to 3 years trying... it's HARD. But, per your other post, I'm not sure that trying to get pregnant is the best idea at this point... obviously I don't know your entire situation, but the fact that you don't have insurance, and are on unemployment just raise red flags for me. Plus, you are still quite young and have plenty of time to get your life in order before bringing a child into the world. What if your child were sick and you didn't have insurance?

Again - please understand that I KNOW the desire to want a baby.

We are on unemplyment for now but we have a bright future ahead of us and I know that money won't be a problem in the future. Thanks anyway.

 

[immersedingrace]

We are on unemplyment for now but we have a bright future ahead of us and I know that money won't be a problem in the future. Thanks anyway.

That's a wonderful outlook. Being positive, IMO, is often half the battle for a lot of things. It reduces stress

Anyway, I got married almost a year ago and while I haven't had the difficulties you have, I've had other difficulties, like PCOS, and I want to have a baby so bad. I can't answer about the cost because I haven't had any testing because hubby and I really believe that if it's meant to happen for us, God will allow it to happen. Not everyone feels the "non-medical" method is the way to go so if you want to get tested or are worried something might be off, I'd check with an ob/gyn. And as much as I hate it, I believe you could go to planned parenthood to ask questions. Don't know much about them, but I think they're either free or on a sliding scale, since I know insurance is an issue. If you're under 35, fertility isn't usually a concern until after 1 full year of trying to conceive. If you're 35+, the time line is six months of trying to conceive, though I totally understand your concern. I'd be concerned also, especially because it seems so easy for those around me to get pregnant. Fortunately I haven't had to bite anyone's head off yet for asking the annoying "when are you having kids" question.

Prayers for a job find/or healing, whatever it is that has you on unemployment

 

[Ornela]

That's a wonderful outlook. Being positive, IMO, is often half the battle for a lot of things. It reduces stress

Anyway, I got married almost a year ago and while I haven't had the difficulties you have, I've had other difficulties, like PCOS, and I want to have a baby so bad. I can't answer about the cost because I haven't had any testing because hubby and I really believe that if it's meant to happen for us, God will allow it to happen. Not everyone feels the "non-medical" method is the way to go so if you want to get tested or are worried something might be off, I'd check with an ob/gyn. And as much as I hate it, I believe you could go to planned parenthood to ask questions. Don't know much about them, but I think they're either free or on a sliding scale, since I know insurance is an issue. If you're under 35, fertility isn't usually a concern until after 1 full year of trying to conceive. If you're 35+, the time line is six months of trying to conceive, though I totally understand your concern. I'd be concerned also, especially because it seems so easy for those around me to get pregnant. Fortunately I haven't had to bite anyone's head off yet for asking the annoying "when are you having kids" question.

Prayers for a job find/or healing, whatever it is that has you on unemployment

Thank you for your encouragment and advice. I really try to stay positive about our future careers and about having kids but sometimes when I am having a bad day and if I see babies around me or women who are pregnant I just feel my eyes tearing up. I do believe though that I will get pregnant, maybe not this month or even next year but eventually in God's timing. God knows how much my heart wants to have a baby, to share my love and his word with it and how good a mother I would be so I am sure that God wouldn't deprive me from that blessing. I know that I know that I know that God will bless me with children.

 

[seeker777]

Go see an OBGYN. Enquire about follicle tracking.

Good luck.

 

[felinity]

Some women have cycles close to 100 days with PCOS.

Or longer! I can easily go 6 months or more without medical intervention.