I help with children's church and we have a child(4 yrs old) that is a mess,he is very stubborn,if he has it in his head to get up and leave he will try to do it,and I take him out of the classroom because he disrupts the whole class.Then he tells me he hates me and going to beat me up,(he swears at me also)I just let him get it out,then he settles down and we actually enjoy each other.but when we return to classroom it starts all over.(help)
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Need some advice HELP!
- Thread starter Littlemouse
- Start date
I don't envy you a bit. The children in our preschool age class are very good kids, sometimes hyper, but good kids. However I do see children like that when I am doing volunteer work outside of the church walls. I know of one little boy who is 6 years old and very violent. I used to think that hugs cure everything, but all I can say is pray, pray and pray.
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Nessie
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Well, an important question is whether the child has a parent or parents in the church or if he is a bus route student or someone with unsaved parents.
If he has at least one parent who is well settled in the church, you can always tell him that if he doesn't like Sunday School so bad that he has to throw fits, it's okay, you'll let him sit with his parent.
Otherwise, it can be a little harder. I have a student who used to be really strong willed but is really getting it under control now. Some things I've done in the past include:
Making a chart on the wall with every kid's name and giving them three cards; red, yellow and green. Each class every student begins with greeen. If they act up (beyond normal childish things, obviously) they pull a card, so the next is yellow. So forth until they are on red, and if they have to pull the red card, I will either send them into the sanctuary to sit with their parents or I will take them out into the hall and have a talk with them, usually making them tell me why we had to leave class, make them tell you what they can do to behave better, and then pray with them. Sometimes you have to do this several times, but eventually they do start acting better. This is usually the case with kids who just need attention, who are testing boundaries, or who want to see if you'll just get rid of them or actually care enough to keep them around.
My next theme that I'm starting next week is Monopoly, and so each kid is going to get $300. Each time they act up I'm going to have them pay me $100, and if they go "bankrupt", then I proceed with the disciplinary action.
You could try distracting them as much as possible too. It's okay to single him out to "be responsible for the coloring pages" by making him hold them. Sometimes this helps them be so focused on a task that they don't even think about acting up. With my stong willed student this works wonders. He feels needed and valued and loves helping out. You could talk to them privately before that and tell him that you need him to help with the song actions or that you know God really values his prayers so ask him if he'll pray for the class with you. Anything along these lines helps!
One thing I do for kids who outrightly rebel and disrespect me (or any asst teacher I have in there), is I make them apologize in front of the class. Make sure you tell the class this is what will happen when you go over the rules (good idea to do a quick run through before each class). Don't make it a surprise on them. If they know they're going to have to do it, usually that's a good preventive measure. I always tell them when we discuss rules "if you're able to be mean in front of the class, you're able to apologize in front of the class." I've had two students test this one. Needless to say, they've each only ever done it once.
I keep the class rules so simple even the youngest child can recite it "Respect God, Respect People, Respect Things." I have this posted on the wall at all times. Reinforce that respect means "be nice to" several times b/c little kids usually have no clue what that means, but once they do, the kids will call out each other and say, "You're not respecting God by talking while we pray!" or something like that. Now they remind each other
YAY!
All this said, sometimes it just takes a lot of prayer and patience on the teacher's part. I've been working with my one strong willed child for about three years now and he's really gotten better. Last week at snack he actually called out loudly, and the first one to do so, "Thank you for our snack!" When he's good in class, too, I make sure to shake his hand and tell him thank you (and point out good things he's done) afterwards. His mom is down on hm a lot, so I usually do it where she can overhear us. Sometimes I go and brag about him to her about how great he was.
Oh, I should add that my church does "Children's Church" as opposed to the tradition Sunday School class structure, so I have children from pre-k up! (about 4-12), and these tactics seem to work for every age level. It's definitely been a trial and error process over time but once you find what works stick with it! Keep going on with what you're doing God will bless you greatly!
If he has at least one parent who is well settled in the church, you can always tell him that if he doesn't like Sunday School so bad that he has to throw fits, it's okay, you'll let him sit with his parent.
Otherwise, it can be a little harder. I have a student who used to be really strong willed but is really getting it under control now. Some things I've done in the past include:
Making a chart on the wall with every kid's name and giving them three cards; red, yellow and green. Each class every student begins with greeen. If they act up (beyond normal childish things, obviously) they pull a card, so the next is yellow. So forth until they are on red, and if they have to pull the red card, I will either send them into the sanctuary to sit with their parents or I will take them out into the hall and have a talk with them, usually making them tell me why we had to leave class, make them tell you what they can do to behave better, and then pray with them. Sometimes you have to do this several times, but eventually they do start acting better. This is usually the case with kids who just need attention, who are testing boundaries, or who want to see if you'll just get rid of them or actually care enough to keep them around.
My next theme that I'm starting next week is Monopoly, and so each kid is going to get $300. Each time they act up I'm going to have them pay me $100, and if they go "bankrupt", then I proceed with the disciplinary action.
You could try distracting them as much as possible too. It's okay to single him out to "be responsible for the coloring pages" by making him hold them. Sometimes this helps them be so focused on a task that they don't even think about acting up. With my stong willed student this works wonders. He feels needed and valued and loves helping out. You could talk to them privately before that and tell him that you need him to help with the song actions or that you know God really values his prayers so ask him if he'll pray for the class with you. Anything along these lines helps!
One thing I do for kids who outrightly rebel and disrespect me (or any asst teacher I have in there), is I make them apologize in front of the class. Make sure you tell the class this is what will happen when you go over the rules (good idea to do a quick run through before each class). Don't make it a surprise on them. If they know they're going to have to do it, usually that's a good preventive measure. I always tell them when we discuss rules "if you're able to be mean in front of the class, you're able to apologize in front of the class." I've had two students test this one. Needless to say, they've each only ever done it once.
I keep the class rules so simple even the youngest child can recite it "Respect God, Respect People, Respect Things." I have this posted on the wall at all times. Reinforce that respect means "be nice to" several times b/c little kids usually have no clue what that means, but once they do, the kids will call out each other and say, "You're not respecting God by talking while we pray!" or something like that. Now they remind each other
YAY!All this said, sometimes it just takes a lot of prayer and patience on the teacher's part. I've been working with my one strong willed child for about three years now and he's really gotten better. Last week at snack he actually called out loudly, and the first one to do so, "Thank you for our snack!" When he's good in class, too, I make sure to shake his hand and tell him thank you (and point out good things he's done) afterwards. His mom is down on hm a lot, so I usually do it where she can overhear us. Sometimes I go and brag about him to her about how great he was.
Oh, I should add that my church does "Children's Church" as opposed to the tradition Sunday School class structure, so I have children from pre-k up! (about 4-12), and these tactics seem to work for every age level. It's definitely been a trial and error process over time but once you find what works stick with it! Keep going on with what you're doing God will bless you greatly!
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Thanks for the advice,I am going to use some of your ideas.
Hopefully I will see some improvement over time.
Hopefully I will see some improvement over time.
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SiyoNqoba
Junior Member
It sounds like it might be, in part, an attention thing.
Every time he acts up, you take him outside and he gets to spend one-on-one time with you. You're probably very special to him Being naughty is working for him.
My suggestion would be to load him with positive attention. Every little good thing he does, praise him for it. Sit next to him, and help him in the games. Make sure he sees you praising the other kids as well, especially if he's starting to act up.
When he's naughty, don't take him out and spend one-on-one time with him. Especially don't enjoy each other during that time. Punishment shouldn't be fun. If sending him outside is the only thing you can do, and you must be out there to supervise him, dont talk to him and barely look at him. Let him know that he is being punished, and that he can go back inside and have fun when he's ready to behave, but that while he's out there, he's going to sit and be bored.
He needs to see that being good gets attention, and that being naughty gets boring punishment.
Every time he acts up, you take him outside and he gets to spend one-on-one time with you. You're probably very special to him
Being naughty is working for him. My suggestion would be to load him with positive attention. Every little good thing he does, praise him for it. Sit next to him, and help him in the games. Make sure he sees you praising the other kids as well, especially if he's starting to act up.
When he's naughty, don't take him out and spend one-on-one time with him. Especially don't enjoy each other during that time. Punishment shouldn't be fun. If sending him outside is the only thing you can do, and you must be out there to supervise him, dont talk to him and barely look at him. Let him know that he is being punished, and that he can go back inside and have fun when he's ready to behave, but that while he's out there, he's going to sit and be bored.
He needs to see that being good gets attention, and that being naughty gets boring punishment.
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autumnrose42
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I have a little kid somewhat like that as well. Though admittedly not as bad.
I try and keep an extra person in there (adult) when he is in class with me. That way, he has someone that will help him and be with him, but can also discipline him if the need arises.
I try and keep an extra person in there (adult) when he is in class with me. That way, he has someone that will help him and be with him, but can also discipline him if the need arises.
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Christian_Babe234
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I am the music leader and substitute teacher in our churches children's church. There is a group of 4 brothers who are the exact same way. These boys are from the ages 7-13 and they have no manners whatsoever and their poor little sister who is the sweetest thing has to put up with them at home. She is the only girl too. I wish I knew what to do too. The children have a sad story behind them. Our children's church leader is the closest thing they have to a father and his wife is the closest thing they have to a mother. These children are being raised by their Grandmother. She's a sweet lady just I don't really think that she knows how to control them. I mean like they as sweet as pie to me, but not so sweet towards everyone else.
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sometimes kids need to be suspended from a program for a couple of weeks to behave. There is nothing wrong w/rules and the following there of.
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plmarquette
Veteran
we had some add adld kids and an adult would sit next to them to comfort and quiet them....soft words turn away anger....we insisted that they follow the rules others followed...suggested that they could get treats if they did what was expected of them ....piece of candy , reward for correct answer (class as a whole)...how come I never get any....you do not sit still, you do not participate, listen....
a choice ...a decision ....hedge bets ...help with behavior, pick to participate...some times it is about getting attention from peers / teacher
a choice ...a decision ....hedge bets ...help with behavior, pick to participate...some times it is about getting attention from peers / teacher
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rivulet
I wish I had courage enough to be myself
I use a little trick with balloons. I blow up three (yellow, orange and red). When the child misbehaves I pop one. He or she hears it and i explain why i popped the balloon. I also remind them that if I pop the red balloon then they will be taken to their parent... This seems kind of harsh but the child would rather be with the class then in big church.. so if you stick to your guns, after once or twice, he'll learn.
ANOTHER thing to do would be to get some construction paper and have two sides.. let him tell YOU the rules. He knows what they are... he can draw the rules on the construction paper or you can write them in. Our kids have a much easier time remembering the rules that they came up with: "Respect God, Respect others, Respect God's house, Have fun!"
ANOTHER thing to do would be to get some construction paper and have two sides.. let him tell YOU the rules. He knows what they are... he can draw the rules on the construction paper or you can write them in. Our kids have a much easier time remembering the rules that they came up with: "Respect God, Respect others, Respect God's house, Have fun!"
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