Need some advice and support!

[Fenak]

Hey, friends!

I thought that maybe some ppl here (girls too, I hope) could help me with some things that are happening to me.

I'm in this new relationship that's about to reach 2 months together, I really like her, she tells me the same, and there we go!

The problem is that I am soooo insecure! =(
I'm scared to death of thinking like.. someday I'll wake up.. and she won't be liking me anymore..
Sometimes when she just stops saying things like she likes me, or things like that, my mind starts to melt inside.. I feel that I need that affirmative a lot..

Any comments about it?

Ty brothers! =]

Edit: Yesterday, we were talking on MSN and she got a little angry and "sad" because I was really annoying, bothering her that she didn't care as much as she did, and stuff like that.. =/

 

[peanutbutter12]

I suppose it depends on what she isn't caring about. It's not a bad thing to have some different interests.

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

If she is constantly going to have to remind you then that is going to be exhausting for her. If you let them your insecurities WILL ruin the relationship, and she will get fed up with having to be your source of worth or whatever and will probably leave. Don't pressure her into saying things she may not want to. Maybe she just can't express it with words, but thats not a bad thing. Enjoy the relationship and get rid of the insecurities. If you don't start working towards fixing them you're gonna push her away.

 

[Fenak]

If she is constantly going to have to remind you then that is going to be exhausting for her. If you let them your insecurities WILL ruin the relationship, and she will get fed up with having to be your source of worth or whatever and will probably leave. Don't pressure her into saying things she may not want to. Maybe she just can't express it with words, but thats not a bad thing. Enjoy the relationship and get rid of the insecurities. If you don't start working towards fixing them you're gonna push her away.

really helped!

gotta talk to someone about that! it's my first serious thing, the first time I am with a person that I actually like!

 

[PassionateOne]

If she is constantly going to have to remind you then that is going to be exhausting for her. If you let them your insecurities WILL ruin the relationship, and she will get fed up with having to be your source of worth or whatever and will probably leave. Don't pressure her into saying things she may not want to. Maybe she just can't express it with words, but thats not a bad thing. Enjoy the relationship and get rid of the insecurities. If you don't start working towards fixing them you're gonna push her away.

I'll add that you need to work on your insecurities. Feel confident in yourself and your RL and the fact that she likes you. Because, yes, if you have to question her for a reminder.....it will get 'old' and might, eventually, push her away.

God bless.

 

[DeathMagus]

I know exactly where you're coming from - I'm very much insecure in relationships as well. It's beatable, though - find other things that you can take pride in, other than her affirmation. Basically, you should feel that your self-worth would remain intact even if she left you, since you'd still have all the other things that you take pride in. It also prevents early relationships from developing too quickly and stagnating down the line.

And hey - I've been with my amazing girlfriend for about 3.5 years now, so if I can do it, anyone can!

 

[GrimWolf]

Hey Fenak,

What you are experiencing is not uncommon. What is happening is that you are basing your self worth on other people's opinion of you. You will have to learn not to do this. What matters in this world is what Jesus thinks of you and He loves you more than words can say. You will have to find your identity in Christ and realize that what people think of you are irrelevant to who you are. Be yourself. Insecurity in relationships WILL cause problems. Be confident in who you are and realize that Jesus is the only person in this world that we need to be fulfilled.

 

[Gardener101]

Hey, friends!

I thought that maybe some ppl here (girls too, I hope) could help me with some things that are happening to me.

I'm in this new relationship that's about to reach 2 months together, I really like her, she tells me the same, and there we go!

The problem is that I am soooo insecure! =(
I'm scared to death of thinking like.. someday I'll wake up.. and she won't be liking me anymore..
Sometimes when she just stops saying things like she likes me, or things like that, my mind starts to melt inside.. I feel that I need that affirmative a lot..

Any comments about it?

Ty brothers! =]

Edit: Yesterday, we were talking on MSN and she got a little angry and "sad" because I was really annoying, bothering her that she didn't care as much as she did, and stuff like that.. =/

There is really nothing tangible you can do to overcome your insecurity apart from trying to conduct yourself in the best way possible during the relationship and watch it blossom.

That said, after a year and a half with my previous boyfriend he was still insecure and concerned that some other 'much better guy' would come and 'steal' me from him. I tried everything to reassure him but nothing really worked. Come to think of it, the boyfriend before him had similar concerns.

Bottomline? I suck at giving advice for this kind of insecurity. Sorry for wasting your time

 

[AWorkInProgress]

Hey, friends!

I thought that maybe some ppl here (girls too, I hope) could help me with some things that are happening to me.

I'm in this new relationship that's about to reach 2 months together, I really like her, she tells me the same, and there we go!

The problem is that I am soooo insecure! =(
I'm scared to death of thinking like.. someday I'll wake up.. and she won't be liking me anymore..
Sometimes when she just stops saying things like she likes me, or things like that, my mind starts to melt inside.. I feel that I need that affirmative a lot..

Any comments about it?

Ty brothers! =]

Edit: Yesterday, we were talking on MSN and she got a little angry and "sad" because I was really annoying, bothering her that she didn't care as much as she did, and stuff like that.. =/

Heya brother,

Yeah I recently had to deal with these issues. I tell you it was like the Great Father and the Lord conspired together to get a laugh out of me. I would try to balance everything, being there for my girlfriend and doing the right thing. I leave work all worried and such, finally I give it up to the lord. Wake up the next day and my angel emailed me saying she had an awesome night and everything just fine. lol I remember walking down my driveway to get my mail and kinda shaking my fist at the sky. lol Here I was worrying so much, but nothing to really worry about.

Just going to tell you, listen to your heart and be yourself. Listen to God's will in your lives and remember that we are not in control. God is in control, and if he wants my girlfriend and I to be together. It will happen, but if he wants us to part ways. Then we will.

God loves humility and honesty, so don't be afraid to share some of your insecurities with her. We men are supose to be the leader as Christ is the head of the church, but our partner can help us with our insecurities. Best relationships are ones that you are honest with each other. imo anyways.

Phillippians 4:6-8
6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

Proverbs 4:23
Guard your heart above all else,
for it determines the course of your life.

Also two great peices of scripture my girlfriend loves.

1 corinthians 13:4-5
"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged."

1 john 4:18-19
"Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. 19 We love each other[a] because he loved us first."

I hope this helps!

EDIT: Bro try to talk on the phone if possible. MSN chat is nice, but so many "mixed signals" can occur. We as humans have a tendacy to assume the worse. Phone or email, have that person's full attention and say things clearer.

 

[joyouspirit]

Heya brother,

Yeah I recently had to deal with these issues. I tell you it was like the Great Father and the Lord conspired together to get a laugh out of me. I would try to balance everything, being there for my girlfriend and doing the right thing. I leave work all worried and such, finally I give it up to the lord. Wake up the next day and my angel emailed me saying she had an awesome night and everything just fine. lol I remember walking down my driveway to get my mail and kinda shaking my fist at the sky. lol Here I was worrying so much, but nothing to really worry about.

Just going to tell you, listen to your heart and be yourself. Listen to God's will in your lives and remember that we are not in control. God is in control, and if he wants my girlfriend and I to be together. It will happen, but if he wants us to part ways. Then we will.

God loves humility and honesty, so don't be afraid to share some of your insecurities with her. We men are supose to be the leader as Christ is the head of the church, but our partner can help us with our insecurities. Best relationships are ones that you are honest with each other. imo anyways.

Phillippians 4:6-8
6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

Proverbs 4:23
Guard your heart above all else,
for it determines the course of your life.

Also two great peices of scripture my girlfriend loves.

1 corinthians 13:4-5
"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged."

1 john 4:18-19
"Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. 19 We love each other[a] because he loved us first."

I hope this helps!

EDIT: Bro try to talk on the phone if possible. MSN chat is nice, but so many "mixed signals" can occur. We as humans have a tendacy to assume the worse. Phone or email, have that person's full attention and say things clearer.

Whoa! I soo much needed this right now, thanks James...this is good and sound advice for me and the OP, and for anybody who has issues on insecurities.

And James, I am happy for you!!!

God bless!!!

 

[joyouspirit]

Heya brother,

Yeah I recently had to deal with these issues. I tell you it was like the Great Father and the Lord conspired together to get a laugh out of me. I would try to balance everything, being there for my girlfriend and doing the right thing. I leave work all worried and such, finally I give it up to the lord. Wake up the next day and my angel emailed me saying she had an awesome night and everything just fine. lol I remember walking down my driveway to get my mail and kinda shaking my fist at the sky. lol Here I was worrying so much, but nothing to really worry about.

Just going to tell you, listen to your heart and be yourself. Listen to God's will in your lives and remember that we are not in control. God is in control, and if he wants my girlfriend and I to be together. It will happen, but if he wants us to part ways. Then we will.

God loves humility and honesty, so don't be afraid to share some of your insecurities with her. We men are supose to be the leader as Christ is the head of the church, but our partner can help us with our insecurities. Best relationships are ones that you are honest with each other. imo anyways.

Phillippians 4:6-8
6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

Proverbs 4:23
Guard your heart above all else,
for it determines the course of your life.

Also two great peices of scripture my girlfriend loves.

1 corinthians 13:4-5
"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged."

1 john 4:18-19
"Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. 19 We love each other[a] because he loved us first."

I hope this helps!

EDIT: Bro try to talk on the phone if possible. MSN chat is nice, but so many "mixed signals" can occur. We as humans have a tendacy to assume the worse. Phone or email, have that person's full attention and say things clearer.

Whoa! I soo needed this.....this is good advice for the OP and for me and for anybody who has some issues of insecurities.

Thanks James and I am happy for you!

God bless!!!