Need Prayer

[AnnMercy2]

I feel I finally need to get this out in the open. I need some prayer. I don't quite know how to fully explain my feelings but I'll sure try. Okay, I haven't been to church in a long time. I love the Lord with all my heart, I read my bible, I pray, but I haven't been to chruch. The first intinal thing that happened is I've been struggling with loneliness(mispelled I think). I've felt really alone for a long time. That is I got tired of being single. I've been single all of my life and it was starting to get to me. And it might sound absolutely crazy, but when I went to church all I kept seeing was all the couples, and I'm sitting there with nobody by my side to worship with. I know that God is all I need, but sometimes I can't quite see it that way. And it hurts deeply that I've let this come between me and my Lord. I never thought that there would come a time that I wouldn't go to church. I grew up a pastor's daughter and my entire life has been spent in the church. But when my parent's marraige feel apart, so did my church going. I never have felt abandoned by God, I've always have felt his presence and am always talking with him. I just feel like I'm at a standstill with this church going. I really want to go to church, but it's like I'm afraid of what I'm going to find when I get there. Does that make sense? I keep telling myself that everytime Sunday rolls around, I'm gonna go no matter what, then I chicken out. I don't know what is wrong with me. All I know is I really want to get back in church and I don't know how to make that first step. I've never been in such a pickle in my life. I never thought I would go through this. I just need to get to that point where I just throw down my hands and quite fighting and I don't know how to get to that point. Please pray for me that I will get to that point and get it together. And I don't think it is all just because I don't want to see couples, that is part of it but not all of it. I feel there is something deep down that I'm missing and don't know what the missing part is. I have no excuse not to go, I even changed my work schedule, taking Sunday nights off so I could go to church, and not worry about getting sleep. And I still haven't been. I really need some prayer for this. Please help One other thing I seem to have the ability to help other people with their problems but can't seem to help myself. I feel like a hipocrite when I can help someone else with their problems and can't even follow my own advice.

In Christ,
Anna

 

[ZiSunka]

It is parinful to be single in the church, where absolutely everything is geared for couples and families and even singles events turn into matchmaking parties. Especially for women, who are looked on with oity and comtempt if they are not married. It's not your fault, it's the way churches are in America today. There is more bigotry against single women than there is against any race.

Part of that comes from the culture of America, where divorce is common, even among Christians. Married women fear that their husbands will form relationships with the single women and leave them. Unfortunately, there is so much of that actually going on that it is a legitimate fear. There are single Christian women who have affairs with married Christian men, who break up families to soothe their own fears of growing old alone. The married women are not overreacting when they are unfriendly to the single women, they are trying to protect their marriages, There are so many of these wolves in sheeps clothing that married women feel they have to ward away all single women!

And, even when they don't mean to, attractive single Christian women often are the source of temptation for married men. Their wives may not be as beautiful anymore, and their lives may be taken up with caring for the children and their careers. The married men begin to fantasize about that pretty single woman who has kept her figure and is able to have conversations about things besides potty training and the bad brakes on the minivan. This is a dangerous place for a man to be, as there is a fine line between admiring a woman and lusting after her.

But singles need the fellowship and support of Christians to help them live the Christian life just as much as marrieds do. It is a tough dilemma--how can churches incorporate singles into the life of the church without jeopardizing marriages?

No church I know has even done this well. Singles either get segregated to "singles groups" which are largely spiritually-shallow dating services, or they sit at home while the church organizes "couples fellowships" to which they aren't invited.

I have been single most of my adult life, and the only churches in which I felt comfortable were Episcopal (where singleness is accepted as a life choice for Christ), catholic (again, singleness is highly accepted), and Mennonite (open-minded churches where many people chose to never get married so they can dedicate themselves to God). In churches of these denominations I felt little discrimination or hurt.

Try one of these palces. They tend to have rich spiritual lives, rich church fellowships, and acceptance for singles.

 

[GodOwnsMe]

I prayed for ya..kinda know what you feel about the God should be all I need and something missing out part...I mean I'm 15 and I so don't want to date any guy right now its like at the moment its just God and me and when I'll grow some more in faith we'll see..theoretically.
about the church going thing..if ya really want to go there...maybe go with a friend like when you tell them you can hardly stay at home then.......eh yeah I know its not like the perfect plan..
May God Bless you with whatever you really need right now and fill the missing part completely out with his love and give you a lot of wisdom about what to do and totally carry you thru this, just show you his love in the most awesome ways. In Jesus name. Amen

 

[wvmtnkid]

Hi AnnMercy2!

Let me start by saying that I can relate to how you feel. Many times, I get the same feeling in church. It seems I am surrounded by married couples and I struggle to find a place to fit in. Even people that I attended high school with treat me as though I am less of a person because I don't have children. They act as if nothing I have to say is important because I am unmarried and childless. Some Sunday's it bothers me more that others.

Finally I had to change my mind set. I am in church to worship God. It pleases Him that I am there. I just plunge ahead and get involved in ministries I feel my help is needed. And just think, Jesus was a single adult in ministry. Sometimes I think people forget that.

Ann-my advice would be to find a different church, if you haven't already looked into other ones. Find one that you will feel comfortable in. But just know there are going to be those Sunday's when the feelings may creep back in. Hopefully, though, you can find ministries to be active in and the thoughts will just come and go and not sit down and stay awhile.

I will be praying for you!

 

[fieldmouse3]

First of all, it's important to find a church that's right for you, and that you feel comfortable with. If you have that, and you're interested in what's going on, it'll be much easier to deal with the whole being single among lots of couples aspect. It might not make the problem magically go away, but it'll be easier.

 

[Living for Him]

I am praying for you Anna.

 

[carmen]

Will pray for you anna

 

[Blynn]

I will pray too.

 

[AnnMercy2]

Thank ya'll soooo much for the prayers. I've got soooo much on my mind right now, that I'm looking forward to going to work tonight, so I don't have to think about anything. There is some other issues going on right now that I just can't mention right now. I know it is just a storm I'm going through right now, and I will get through it, sometimes I just wish it could be faster, but I have to remember that everthing is in God's time, not my own. I WILL get through and I WILL come out stronger. I WILL SURVIVE THIS, I WILL BE VICTORIOUS!! God Bless you all.

In Christ,
Anna

 

[mel3]

Hi Anna, I, too, will lift you up to the Lord in prayer. I can feel your heartfelt desire is to maintain your relationship with Him. I am a firm believer that God will send you the right special someone. As hard as it may seem to do, I suggest you just sit still and listen. He will reveal to you His plan when He is ready. I have a feeling you already know this, though. Please don't let your loneliness(not sure of spelling, either!) consume you to the point of your spending much of the worship service comparing yourself to other people. You are only cheating yourself out of a message that He is wanting you to hear. I am curious about your feelings of church. Could it possibly be that being raised as a pastor's daughter set yourself up to being in shock when your parents marriage crumbled? Did somehow your church family let you down when your parents seperated? I am wondering if whatever your feelings were then are some of the same feelings now and this is what prevents you from making more of an effort to attend worship service and really hear what He is trying to say. Take a HUGE step of faith and attend a service Sunday. Don't hear any excuse satan is trying to throw at you. Enter into His gates with thanksgiving and praise not allowing your mind to wander a bit. I pray that you do this because I believe when we, as christians, strive to have a personal relationship with Him and to worship Him as we should, then your personal life will alot more intune with His will. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be a bit surprised in six months or so you are writing us back here and letting us know you found that special someone. And, it's VERY possible you will find him in church! I wish you the best.

 

[AnnMercy2]

To mel3... All I can say is WOW, and prasies to God I don't even know fully what to say here, the only thing going through my mind is WOW, WOW. I'm speechless. As I type this, tears are running down my face, you have somehow, managed to see deep into my heart and revel things that I thought that nobody would or could ever see. The Lord has given you some incrediable insight into my heart and I thank God that he reveled it to you and you have the courage to share it with me. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! The times I have sat in Church and compared myself with everybody there and there is no way you could have known that but God himself. And deep down I know your right about my parent's marriage crumbling putting me into shock, they were married for twenty years and all I pretty much knew was church and the love that the people had in our church. As for the part about the church family letting me and my family down, I guess, no, I know I felt that way, but I never expressed that to anyone. I guess the church family felt mighty betrayed too. We lived in a very small town where everybody knows everbody and everbody thinks that they know everybody else's bisness (mp) The gossip that went around about my family was almost unbearable to me. The things that people said when they knew nothing about anything, to this day makes me sick. I haven't forgiven them for that yet. But everything you have said has really opened my eyes and helped me to see where I really need to go and seek the Lord about a lot of things. I will attend church this Sunday, no matter what, I will be strong and I will go. I'm am in a fight for my spirtal welfare and I will be Victorous in my fight.

In Christ,
Anna


P.S. I guess I wasn't that speechless

 

[Living for Him]

Anna, At the age of 21, I was married and had a baby. We had gotten married when I was nine months pregnant. Shortly, after I had her I was pregnant again.So I was young,"with somebody" and divorced by the time I was 25.   25!!!!!!!!!!!!!

However, two of my very best friends, who grew up in christian homes also, both face the same things you are. They were both sad at times, lonely, wondering if they would EVER meet a good christian guy, or if God wanted them to be alone! Lori, my one friend, didn't meet her guy til she was 26 years old, and 7 years they have the most awesome, wonderful, Christ centered marriage, and two beautiful children. Val, was 27, when she finally got her guy, and 3 years later, she too is an an awesome Christ centered marriage.

My point is...they waited on the Lord, and because of that he blessed them abundantly. And inspite of my mistakes and my heartache, God blessed me with 2 amazing, healthy children. For them, I could not wish to go back, but I do wish that I had always listened and waited on my Lord.

Keep heart little sister, God has someone so amazing out there for you, just keep your eyes on Him, until he delivers that someone wonderful to you. I promise you, it will be well worth the wait!

Godbless you Anna!

 

[forjesus]

Praying for you, I think you should go on to church and take this oppourtunity to put all your focus on God. I love my wife but sometimes i get distracted at church, like when i'm trying to listen to the pastor, and she wants to ask me a question, or needs me to run outside to get something she left in the car. Then our 4 year old will get a little loud, our 7 month old will need a diaper,or bottle. Take my advice and use this single time to draw closer to God, just you and him. I love my family and we have a great time in and out of church. God will send someone your way, when he is ready, until then he wants you all to himself. God Bless

 

[wvmtnkid]

Good for you Annmercy! Will say an extra prayer for you on Sunday morning that God will give you the courage to get on up and get on out and get into church. Let us know how it goes!

 

[mel3]

Hope you are feeling some better today, Anna. Now that you agree you need to be in church.... Don't MAKE me have to come git ya and drag ya into church kickin' and a screamin come Sunday Morning!!! haha... Hey, ya don't happen to live in Georgia now do ya??? Anyways, on a more serious note, I really hope that you are able to resolve your issues and move forward with your life. I am a firm believer that God wants us to worship together, pray together and stay together. Let the Lord lead you to the church of His choice. Enter in with an open mind and a honest yearning to hear His Word. Rebuke satan, claiming the blood of Jesus. Remember satan even trembles at the thought of Jesus. If you make a sincere attempt to rebuke him every time he tries to invade your life, he is not gonna be able to hang around! Work on your relationship with God and I believe you will see a difference in yourself. God bless you, Anna, I really want to know what happens Sunday. Whatever you do, leave those old negative thoughts outside the doors. Ask God to reveal to you what He is wanting you to know, in His time, when He is certain you are ready to know His plan for you. I really think you are gonna be alright. It's a matter of burying your old hurts and replacing them with new beginnings.

 

[wvmtnkid]

Originally posted by mel3
. Whatever you do, leave those old negative thoughts outside the doors. Ask God to reveal to you what He is wanting you to know, in His time, when He is certain you are ready to know His plan for you. I really think you are gonna be alright. It's a matter of burying your old hurts and replacing them with new beginnings.

I really like this mel3!  Good advice.  Something I need to remember myself when those negative and sometimes nagging doubts come to mind.  Thanks for your sharing your wisdom.

 

 

[mel3]

Thanks wvm(sorry I can't remember all your initial!). I feel like it is very important to leave your troubles at the door. The bible says we are to enter into His gates with thanksgiving, enter into His house with praise. If we don't then we are hindering the holy spirit somewhat. And of equal importance, the bible says we are to sit still and listen. When we concentrate on listening and not worrying about all the problems we are having, we open ourselves up to hearing what He is saying through the pastor's message. We are cheating ourselves when we go to His house and worry about all around us. The alter calling is for us to lay our problems at His feet. Only then should you take those problems and worries that you left at the door and give them to Him.

 

[AnnMercy2]

Update: I didn't go to church last Sunday. I was ready to go but my mom couldn't make it ( I don't drive). Anyways, we Are going this Sunday. Just wanted to let everyone know, and I'll post here again next Sunday after church to let ya'll know how it goes

Anna

 

[wvmtnkid]

Still praying for you!

 

[Blessed-one]

i'm praying. Go Anna! i hope you'll have a wonderful experience in church.