Need prayer, advice...

[seekfirst]

I feel so torn. I do want what God wants for me, for James. What I am having a hard time with is that I have found I still don't trust him fully. We have been meeting online at night and just emailing back and forth. What he says still seems to contradict itself...not big things..but if one lies about small things, and has a history of lying..the big things can be lied about as well.

My thing is this...we are already divorced. I have been so blessed with what God has done for me since we have been apart. I could live as a single mother, and I Know that God would take care of us. The thought about living with James again, still scares me. He was/is? very prideful, controlling, and lied about soooo much.

He says he is praying, and reading the Bible, goes to church (although not reguarly). I truly do hope that he has given his life over to God...but I don't know if he has. I don't know if it's just being a new Christian, and not knowing and understanding what being a Christian is all about...or if he is just lying and saying all of these things to try to get me back.

I guess I just want prayers for wisdom with this...I know there is no timetable, and that we don't have to rush into anything. He is just constantly telling me he misses me, and loves me, and that there is no way he could move here...so I would have to move there again....I have a great job, my parents are here, the school district is wonderful, my church is awesome...I feel at home here. It would be a big move...one I already did once...one I would be willing to make again...but right now I don't want to...I have no desire to....

I don't want to lead him on...I want God to lead me, us. He just seems like he is in some fairy tale, and is wanting to rush through everything. I may be wrong..this all may be hormones playing with me at this time...Please, just pray for me...thank you!!

 

[tonya]

I think you are VERY wise in that you are seeking God and putting Him first....KEEP ON doing that! Keep praying for James. Again I think that you are wise in that you are not jumping back into things...I am by NO means saying that you should not get back with him and bring your family back together I am saying that it is not sometyhing that should be rushed into and that you should keep praying until God lets you know the time is right....

 

[seekfirst]

I think you are VERY wise in that you are seeking God and putting Him first....KEEP ON doing that! Keep praying for James. Again I think that you are wise in that you are jumping back into things...I am by NO means saying that you should not get back with him and bring your family back together I am saying that it is not sometyhing that should be rushed into and that you should keep praying until God lets you know the time is right....

Thank you, Tonya. I have not always been very wise in my decisions, and I have learned much from that...I truly understand everything you are saying, and I thank you for your prayers!!

 

[tonya]

Glad to be of help...I am in a similar situation...I feel my family needs to be eback together BUT I know God is working and I can not just RUSH back into them..ALOT of changes have to take place in me and him for all of that to happen...YES I want my family together but I will not just go back for that, God has to be there too and my s/o is just not where he needs to be...neither am I actually...but we are growing and learning...praise GOD!

 

[seekfirst]

Glad to be of help...I am in a similar situation...I feel my family needs to be eback together BUT I know God is working and I can not just RUSH back into them..ALOT of changes have to take place in me and him for all of that to happen...YES I want my family together but I will not just go back for that, God has to be there too and my s/o is just not where he needs to be...neither am I actually...but we are growing and learning...praise GOD!

I will say my prayers for you your family. It's nice to have someone who knows how it is, and also wants to do God's will. I would love to be prayer partners with you...just email if this sounds good to you to. Thank you, and may God bless you for your encouragement and sound advice.

 

[Mtnmover]

One good question to ask yourself if he really has changed or has a real relationship with the Lord-
Is there fruit?
That small three word question has answered my questions many times.
Good luck and God bless

 

[fluffy_rainbow]

I think it's great you are both taking steps towards reconciliation; however, as tempting as it may be try not to rush things. Men tend to rush things like this because they hate being lonely. If there are trust issues and issues about uprooting your life again for this man then I would be in serious prayer for patience from the Lord and let your steps be guided by Him.

Has your ex sought counseling? Have you discussed couples counseling to have a mediator help resolve some issues? Right now, considering the fact that you still don't fully trust him, just take things one step at a time. Let him know that you are willing to work towards reconciliation, but it requires dilligence and patience on both your parts.

I will be praying for you and I wish you the best.

 

[seekfirst]

I think it's great you are both taking steps towards reconciliation; however, as tempting as it may be try not to rush things. Men tend to rush things like this because they hate being lonely. If there are trust issues and issues about uprooting your life again for this man then I would be in serious prayer for patience from the Lord and let your steps be guided by Him.

Has your ex sought counseling? Have you discussed couples counseling to have a mediator help resolve some issues? Right now, considering the fact that you still don't fully trust him, just take things one step at a time. Let him know that you are willing to work towards reconciliation, but it requires dilligence and patience on both your parts.

I will be praying for you and I wish you the best.

Fluffy Rainbow...don't you worry...waiting will be easy for me at this time....I'm not even at the point of being ready for counceling yet...just as mntmover suggested...I'm waiting to see if there is fruit....I think it's way too early to tell. If and when it comes to us even "courting" then I definitely will want us both to go to a Christian councelor as well...and talk to my pastor. I am believing for the best, and willing to wait upon God's guidance to see what that is!! Thank you for your concerns and prayers. If James is lying about his faith, then I'm praying that will change too, and that there is still hope that he will truly come to Jesus. Either way, I can wait until it's time for our reconciliation...I won't go back until he definitely is bearing fruit, and also willing to follow God's ways.